VENTH  HEAVEN 


EUEL  FRENCH,  25  West  45th  St,  New  ¥orK 


BEACON   HILL  BILLY 

»es  D.  Wi  •     '  i 


to  hide  the  family  skeleton — Aunt 
ng,   Kentucky—- 
Hill  gets  wind 
and    pretei  niece   froivi 

rives!  There  is  noth- 
iUHy  Hill— Hill  Billv! 
Id  come  shooting  his 

<i   Kentucky   Twist,   Winnie   Mae's   pa.    Poor    Mrs. 
n -urn  is  slaughtered.  She  hires  Win- 
Silly.  She  marries  Billy  to  her  son, 
bui   wait,  read  the  play  and  see  what 
happens  to  the  Winthrop-Beanes  for  yourself. 
(Budget  Plav.)   Price,  60  cents. 


THE  GIRLS  TAKE  OVER 

omedy.   s  acts.  Bv   Pegs^v  Fernwav,  4  ma 


;      -     •    •  explosion   and  the  garage  burns  to  the  ground! 
specting  sah<  tage,  the  ;>  rnc;;  jush  to  iJic  scene  and  Hugo 
o   go   into    hiding    Miss   Fennvay   keeps   she  fun  at   the 
;1;';:-'  '••  ini   ui  til  the  final  curtain. 
Budget  Play.)  Price,  60  cents. 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN 


A  PLAY  IN  THREE  ACTS 


BY 
AUSTIN   STRONG 


Duly  copyrighted,  1922,  in  the  United  States  of  America,  the  British 
Empire,    including    the    Dominion    of    Canada,    and    by    Inter 
national  Copyright,  by  Austin  Strong  and  John  Golden. 


All  Rights  Reserved 

CAUTION:  Professionals  and  amateurs  are  hereby  warned  that 
"SEVENTH  HEAVEN,"  being  fully  protected  under  the  copy 
right  laws  of  the  United  States  of  America,  the  British  Empire, 
including  the  Dominion  of  Canada,  and  all  other  countries  of 
the  Copyright  Union,  is  subject  to  royalty,  and  anyone  present 
ing  the  play  without  the  consent  of  the  owners  or  their  author 
ized  agents  will  be  liable  to  the  penalties  by  law  provided. 
The  amateur  acting  rights  are  reserved  for  the  present  in  all 
cities  and  towns  where  there  are  stock  companies.  Royalty  will 
be  quoted  for  those  cities  and  towns  where  it  may  be  presented 
by  amateurs  on  application  to  .Samuel  French,  25  West  45th 
Street,  New  York,  N.  Y.  Application  for  the  professional  acting 
rights  must  be  made  to  John  Golden,  Hudson  Theatre  Bldg.. 
139  West  44th  Street,  New  York,  N,  Y. 


NEW  YORK 
SAMUEL  FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 
35  WEST  45TH  STREET 


LONDON 

SAMUEL  FRENCH,  Lm 

26  SOUTHAMPTON  STREET 

STRAND 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN 
All  Rights  Reserved 


Especial  notice  should  be  taken  that  the  possession  of  this 
book  without  a  valid  contract  for  production  first  having 
been  obtained  from  the  publisher,  confers  no  right  or  license 
to  professionals  or  amateurs  to  produce  the  play  publicly  or 
in  private  for  gain  or  charity. 

In  its  present  form  this  play  is  dedicated  to  the  reading 
public  only,  and  no  performance,  representation,  production, 
recitation  by  amateurs,  public  reading  or  radio  broadcasting 
may  be  given  except  by  special  arrangement  with  Samuel 
French,  25  West  45th  Street,  New  York. 

This  play  may  be  presented  by  amateurs  upon  payment  of 
a  royalty  of  Fifty  Dollars  for  each  performance,  payable  to 
Samuel  French,  25  West  45th  Street,  New  York,  one  week 
before  the  date  when  the  play  is  given. 

Whenever  the  play  is  produced  the  following  notice  must 
appear  on  all  programs,  printing  and  advertising  for  the 
play:  "Produced  by  special  arrangement  with  Samuel  French 
of  New  York." 

Attention  is  called  to  the  penalty  provided  by  law  for  any 
infringement  of  the  author's  rights,  as  follows: 

"SECTION  4966: — Any  person  publicly  performing  or  rep 
resenting  any  dramatic  or  musical  composition  for  which 
copyright  has  been  obtained,  without  the  consent  of  the 
proprietor  of  said  dramatic  or  musical  composition,  or  his 
heirs  and  assigns,  shall  be  liable  for  damages  thereof,  such 
damages,  in  all  cases  to  be  assessed  at  such  sum,  not  less 
than  one  hundred  dollars  for  the  first  and  fifty  dollars  for 
every  subsequent  performance,  as  to  the  court  shall  appear 
to  be  just.  If  the  unlawful  performance  and  representation 
be  wilful  and  for  profit,  such  person  or  persons  shall  be 
guilty  of  a  misdemeanor,  and  upon  conviction  shall  be  im 
prisoned  for  a  period  not  exceeding  one  year." — U.  S. 
Revised  Statutes:  Title  60,  Chap.  3. 


Printed  in  the  United  States  of  America 


JOHN  GOLDEN  presents 

SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

A  Play  by  Austin  Strong 

Produced  at  The  Booth  Theatre 

New  York  City,  on  October  30,  1922 

THE  CAST  OF  CHARACTERS 

BOUL Hubert  Druce 

THE  RAT   Fred  Holloway 

ARLETTE Beatrice  Noyes 

MAXIMILLIAN  GOBIN   Alfred  Kappeler 

NANA Marion  Kerby 

RECAN Bernard  Thornton 

DIANE  Helen  Menken 

BRISSAC  Frank  Morgan 

BLONDE  Richard  Carlyle 

PERE  CHEVILLON  William  Post 

SERGEANT  OF  POLICE John  Clements 

UNCLE  GEORGES Harry  Forsman 

AUNT  VALENTINE Isabel  West 

CHICO  George  Gaul 

LAMPLIGHTER Lionel  Joseph 

ACT  I :  A  street  in  Paris. 

ACT  II :  "Heaven!'    Three  days  later. 

ACT  III :  Four  years  later. 


3 
374 


To  MOTHER  JOHN 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN 


ACT  I 

The  curtain  rises,  disclosing  a  street  in  the  Paris 
slums.  It  is  a  "cul  de  sac"  known  as  "The  Hole 
in  the  Sock."  At  the  right  of  stage,  under  the 
shadow  of  a  ragged  awning,  is  the  entrance  to 
the  "Mouth,"  a  disreputable  wine  shop,  which 
leans  tipsily  over  a  strip  of  sidewalk  on  which  is 
an  iron  lamp  post.  Across  the  way  is  a  drab 
stone  house  with  all  the  windows  closed.  Stone 
steps,  guarded  by  an  iron  rail,  lead  into  this 
home,  and  at  the  foot  and  side  of  the  stairs  is  an 
old  ash  barrel  filled  with  ashes. 

Between  these  two  sinners  there  rises  at  rear 
the  massive  wall  and  buttresses  of  the  "Church 
of  Heavenly  Angels"  Its  dust-blurred  windows 
are  heavily  barred,  as  though  to  keep  all  good 
ness  within.  A  round  sewer  trap  is  in  the  gutter 
centre.  There  is  a  little  lane  at  upper  right  lead 
ing  off  around  to  the  front  of  the  church.  In 
the  gutter  lies  an  empty  wine  cask. 

We  hang  between  Heaven  and  Hell  with  des 
truction  to  the  right  and  left  of  us. 

A  night-hawk  with  a  burnt-brick  face  is 
cranking  the  engine  of  a  very  dilapidated- 
looking  taxicab.  He  is  known  as  BOUL  and 
plies  his  trade  at  night  scuttling  about  in  his 
wicked  old  chariot  bearing  dubious  freight  to 
dark  and  questionable  places.  He  still  affects 
5 


6  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

the  red  waistcoat,  coat  of  many  capes,  and  the 
white  painted  hat  of  the  cocker. 

As  the  curtain  rises,  BOUL  cranks  machine. 
SERGEANT  enters  U.K.,  leans  over  watching  him; 
after  two  futile  efforts  at  cranking,  BOUL  stands 
back  disgusted,  when,  the  SERGEANT  sympatheti 
cally  asks. 

SERGEANT.     Can't  you  start  it? 

BOUL.  Yes.  I'm  just  doing  this  for  exercise! 
(SERGEANT  gives  him  a  look  of  disgust  and  exits  L. 
BOUL  cranks  again;  no  result.  Again  he  cranks, 
when  the  engine  whirrs.  Quickly  he  runs  to  steering 
wheel  when  the  engine  stops  with  a  loud  bang;  he 
looks  into  the  hood  and  sparks  fly  into  his  face.) 

(Then  out  of  the  Inn  comes  the  SEWER  RAT,  a  small, 
long-nosed  creature  with  the  remnant  of  a  beard 
and  a  quick,  beady  eye.  He  carries  a  canvas 
bundle.  Enters  quickly  and  opens  the  sewer 
trap,  about  to  disappear  when  out  of  the  Inn 
runs  ARLETTE — a  young  girl  in  short  skirts  and 
pigtail — wearing  a  blue  apron.  She  catches  the 
RAT  and  pulls  him  up  by  his  collar.) 

ARLETTE.    You  thief,  y.ou !    I  saw  you ! 

RAT.  (Whining)  But  I  paid  for  my  drink !  Let 
go  my  neck ! 

ARLETTE.  (Shaking  finger  in  his  face)  You  stole 
a  bottle  of  wine  from  the  counter — (Slaps  his  face) 
— when  you  thought  my  back  was  turned — I  saw  you 
in  the  mirror.  (Slap.)  Give  it  to  me  or  I'll  call  the 
Sergeant  of  Police. 

RAT.  I  haven't  got  your  bottle !  Call  the  police  if 
you  want  to ! 

ARLETTE.     (Shouting)     Police! 

RAT.     (Jumping  to  his  feet  and  going  left  of  her) 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  7 

My  God — s-s-sch !  You  don't  have  to  take  me  seri 
ously  ! 

ARLETTE.    Pol / 

BOUL.  (Coming  up  behind  her — putting  a  large 
hand  over  her  mouth)  Hush,  my  dear,  don't  stir  up 
the  enemy !  Hand  it  over — hand  it  over  to  the  lady, 
Sewer  Rat!  (RAT  produces  a  large  bottle  of  wine 
from  among  his  rags.)  There's  your  bottle,  sweet 
child! 

ARLETTE.  (Grabbing  it  and  going  between  them, 
turns  to  BouLj  You  old  thief,  you!  (Starts  tow 
ard  Inn;  then  turns.)  As  for  you,  Sewer  Rat,  don't 
you  ever  come  in  here  again  or  I'll  have  my  father 
open  a  bottle  on  your  head!  (She  exits  into  Inn.) 

BOUL.    Huh ! 

(A  pause.  RAT,  with  a  glance  about,  comes  stealth 
ily  to  BOUL,  opens  the  palm  of  a  dirty  hand  and 
shows  a  glittering  brooch.) 

RAT.    Look ! 

BOUL.    It  isn't  real ! 

RAT.  (Handing  him  the  brooch)  It  should  bring 
five  francs. 

BOUL.  (Pocketing  it)  You'll  be  lucky  if  I  get 
two! 

RAT.    There's  no  profit  in  that. 

BOUL.  It's  all  profit  for  you,  Sewer  Rat.  What 
have  you  got  there? 

RAT.    Chico's  supper. 

BOUL.  Oh!  So  we're  to  dine  up  here,  are  we? 
Good!  Well,  go  down  in  your  hole  and  tell  your 
master  Chico,  not  to  keep  me  waiting  as  he  did  yes 
terday.  It's  close  on  six  now.  (Goes  up  to  cab  and 
throws  food  in  taxi.)  I'll  give  him  till  the  quarter 
hour. 

RAT.    I'll  come  and  eat  with  you? 

BOUL.     (Growling)    You're  not  invited. 


8  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

RAT.  (Looking  carefully  off-stage  at  the  Inn  and 
turning  his  back  to  it,  gently  produces  another  bot 
tle  from  his  rags)  Supposing — supposing  I  -can 
bring  this  ? 

BOUL.  Look  out !  (Half  hiding  it  under  his  coat.) 
Pretty  work!  Pretty  work!  (SEWER  RAT  goes^into 
trap.  With  a  glance  at  the  Inn,  BOUL  smiles  as  he 
examines  the  label,  whistles  and  kisses  the  bottle  ten 
derly.)  For  this,  my  friend,  you  shall  be  guest  of 
honor !  (Puts  the  "bottle  in  the  cab.) 

(MONSIEUR  BOUSSONET  GOBIN  has  entered,  from  L., 
pulling  after  him  his  hose,  an  affair  of  jointed 
pipes  on  little  wheels.  He  wears  a  linen  blouse, 
leather  apron  and  peaked  hat.  He  has  the  repu 
tation  of  having  the  largest  and  most  beautiful 
mustachios  in  this  quarter.  He  lays  dotvn  his 
hose  in  the  gutter,  beside  the  stone  stairway,  and 
walks  without  haste  toward  the  Inn.) 

RAT.  I'll  tell  Chico  to  hurry.  (He  quickly  exits 
down  the  hole.) 

BOUL.    Good  evening,  Maximilian  Gobin ! 

( GOBIN,  with  his  nose  in  the  air,  fails  to  notice  him 
and  goes  into  the  cafe  as  NANA,  entering  un 
steadily  from  the  Inn,  bumps  into  GOBIN. 
GOBIN  brushes  his  blouse,  disgusted  with  the 
contact;  NANA  is  dressed  in  dark  clothes,  a 
black  crocheted  shawl,  feet  shod  in  black  felt 
slippers;  hair  beautifully  dressed.  She  has  a 
Spanish  look.  A  superb  black  cat.) 

NANA.    Look  where  you're  going ! 
GOBIN.     (Disgusted)     Ah-ah!     (Exits.) 

(NANA  crosses  stage;  as  she  passes  BOUL  he  speaks.) 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  9 

BOUL.     (Following  her  left)     Hey,  Nana! 

NANA.    Well? 

BOUL.  (Showing  brooch)  What  can  you  bring 
me  for  that? 

NANA.     (Taking  it)    Half  of  what  I  get. 

BOUL.  And  do  it  yourself.  Don't  send  the  young 
one! 

NANA.    I'll  do  it  my  way  or  not  at  all. 

BOUL.  Very  well — very  well.  But  be  careful — 
the  police  have  been  very  active  here  lately.  (Cross 
ing  to  cab.) 

NANA.  (Crosses  left  to  steps)  Police!  I'm  not 
afraid  of  the  police !  (She  has  crossed  to  steps  to 
the  house;  goes  up  them  as  GOBIN  enters  from  the 
Cafe,  wiping  his  mustachios.  Indicating  GOBIN) 
Let  them  take  that  swine  to  their  slaughter  house! 
(She  exits  into  house  left.) 

BOUL.  (Laughingly,  to  GOBIN^  She  means  you 
— Maximilian  Gobin! 

GOBIN.  (Picking  up  hose;  starts  u.L.J  Bah !  If 
I  had  my  way  I'd  turn  my  hose  on  all  you  street 
scum! 

(PAUL  RECAN  enters  from  U.L.,  the  private  secre 
tary  to  BRISSAC,  a  very  modern,  beautifully 
dressed  youth  with  a  hard  face.  GOBIN  exits, 
dragging  his  hose  off.  BOUL  gives  a  sigh  of  re 
lief.  The  Angelus  bell  booms  high  above  in 
the  church.) 

BOUL.  (Removing  his  hat,  prays  aloud  with  en 
thusiasm)  "Angeles  Domini  Muntiavit — ave  Maria," 
etc.,  etc.  (RECAN  looks  about,  zvalks  up  left  of  BOUL 
and  smiles.) 

RECAN.    Are  you  religious  ? 

BOUL.  Very,  young  man,  very.  Taxi?  (RECAN 
has  crossed  to  right  to  the  sidewalk.) 

RECAN.    No,  thanks. 


io  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

BOUL.  It's  just  as  well.  I  cannot  get  it  started 
anyway. 

RECAN.    (Turning)    What's  your  name  ? 

BOUL.     Boul. 

RECAN.     Boul  ? 

BOUL.  (With  a  flourish)  Boul — short  for  Boule 
vard. 

RECAN.    Is  that  your  cab? 

BOUL.    It  is — more's  the  pity. 

RECAN.    How  long  have  you  had  it  ? 

BOUL.   Only  two  days,  and  I  don't  understand  her. 

RECAN.  No — I. mean,  how  long  have  you  had  it 
stationed  here  ? 

BOUL.    Since  early  morning. 

RECAN.    That's  against  the  rules. 

BOUL.  (Who  has  been  eyeing  him  suspiciously) 
You're  not  the  police ! 

RECAN.  Never  mind  who  I  am — you  must  keep 
moving. 

BOUL.  (With  a  shrug)  I  know  that.  But  Eloise 
doesn't. 

RECAN.    Eloise? 

BOUL.  I  named  it  after  my  old  horse,  Eloise. 
(Pointing  to  horseshoe  over  door.)  That  was  her 
shoe.  They  are  very  much  alike.  Eloise  was  stub 
born,  but  I  mastered  her  before  she  died.  (Turns 
crank  and  there  is  a  noise.)  This  new  Eloise — 
this  thing  of  tin  and  grease — I  shall  conquer  her 
yet! 

(ARLETTE  enters  and  stands  in  door  of  Inn.) 

RECAN.    Well,  get  along  as  soon  as  you  can. 

ARLETTE.  (Coming  forward  a  little)  Thank  you  ! 
My  father  says  that  thing  is  a  public  nuisance. 

BOUL.  (Going  U.R.  to  his  taxi  and  petting  it. 
Grumblingly)  You  know,  I  think  Eloise  is  sick ! 

RECAN.    (Half -smiling)    Sick,  eh? 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  11 

ELOISE.    Bang ! ! 

BOUL.  (Kicks  her  mudguard)  Shut  up,  idiot ! 
(Crosses  up  to  ARLETTE  with  pail.)  May  I  borrow 
some  water  for  Eloise  ? 

ARLETTE.  If  it  will  get  you  away  from  here  sooner 
— yes !  (Exit  BOUL  into  wine  shop.) 

RECAN.  (To  ARLETTE,  in  a  low  voice)  Has  the 
Colonel  been  here? 

ARLETTE.    Is  he  coming  again  today  ? 

RECAN.  (Nodding)  Yes — with  another  gentle 
man — and  mind,  keep  your  mouth  shut !  (Exits  into 
wine  shop.) 

ARLETTE.  (Following  him  off)  Of  course,  of 
course.  (Exits  talking.) 

NANA'S  VOICE.    (Off-stage)    Get  out ! 

(A  terrified  girl  is  hurled  backwards  out  of  the  house 
left  and  against  the  iron  railing  at  head  of  the 
stairway.) 

DIANE.  (In  real  terror)  Nana — please — Nana — 

please — please (NANA  enters  and  fairly  towers 

above  her;  she  grasps  DIANE  by  the  throat  with  her 
left  hand;  speaks  in  husky  voice.) 

NANA.  Take  it  back,  Diane,  or  I'll  split  your  head 
open !  Take  it  back,  I  tell  you — take  it  back ! 

DIANE.    I  do — I  do ! 

NANA.  (In  triumph,  throws  whip  from  under  her 
shawl  backwards  into  the  house)  Ha !  Now  take 
this  to  Villeau's  and  bring  me  absinthe  for  it ! 

DIANE.  No — no !  (Then  grasping  the  girl  by  the 
shoulders  she  jerks  her  forward,  bringing  their  faces 
close  together.  In  a  quiet  voice,  shaking  with  pas 
sion.) 

NANA.    You'll  do  as  I  tell  you ! 

DIANE.    Yes — but,  Nana,  it  makes  you  terrible ! 

NANA.  (Taking  her  by  the  throat)  I'll  break 
your  head  open ! 


12  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

DIANE.  You're  killing  me!  (She  totters  down 
steps  and  sits,  almost  falling  in  a  heap.) 

(BouL  enters  with  a  pail  of  water,  and  starts  filling 
radiator.  ARLETTE  appears  in  the  doorway  of 
the  cafe,  attracted  by  the  noise  of  the  quarrel.) 

NANA.  Diane!  Get  up!  (DIANE  does  not  move.) 
Do  you  want  me  to  come  down  to  you  then?  (A 
pause — no  movement.)  Diane! 

DIANE.  No — no — Nana,  I'll  go!  (She  half  rises. 
NANA  goes  into  the  house.  ARLETTE  crosses  to 
DIANE  sympathetically.) 

ARLETTE.    Why  don't  you  fight  her  back  ? 

DIANE.    I  can't. 

ARLETTE.  I  wish  she'd  try  that  whip  on  me  once. 
I'd  push  it  down  her  throat ! 

DIANE.  (Gets  to  her  feet)  Oh,  it's  because  I'm 
afraid  of  her. 

ARLETTE.  (Helping  her  up)  If  she  wasn't  your 
sister,  I'd  tell  the  police ! 

BOUL.  (Jumping  over  keg  and  coming  down  to 
ARLETTE;  Police!  And  get  us  all  into  trouble? 
You  have  horrible  ideas — you!  Listen,  Diane,  I 
wouldn't  try  to  cross  Nana  when  she's  like  this. 
When  she's  been  drinking.  Papa  Boul's  your  friend. 
(He  goes  to  her.) 

ARLETTE.     (Crossing  right)     Friend ! 

(RECAN  enters  from  R.  and  watches  DIANE.  As 
DIANE  starts  U.R.  BOUL  returns  to  front  of 
taxi. ) 

RECAN.  (Stopping  ARLETTE  at  door,  but  watching 
DIANE  cross)  Arlette,  I  may  want  some  informa 
tion  from  you  about  that  girl ! 

ARLETTE.  Oh,  you  may  ?  Well,  you  won't  get  it. 
(Exits  into  cafe.) 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  13 

RECAN.  I  won't,  eh?  I'll  have  to  find  out  for  my 
self  then.  (BouL  exits  into  cafe  R.,  closing  door. 
RECAN  exits  off-stage  R.  after  DIANE  as  if  following 
her.) 

(Enter  BRISSAC  and  M.  BLONDE  accompanied  by  two 
gendarmes.  BRISSAC  is  a  distinguished  man  in 
his  early  forties,  humorous,  relaxed,  charming. 
He  is  immaculately  dressed.  BLONDE,  in  sharp 
contrast,  is  an  elderly  country  avocat,  in  an  ill- 
fitting  frock  coat;  face  is  lean  and  his  shrewd 
eyes  peer  out  from  under  shaggy  eyebrows.) 

BRISSAC.  (As  they  enter,  turning  to  gendarmes) 
I  don't  think  we'll  need  you  any  longer.  Thank  you 
very  much. 

FIRST  GENDARME.    You're  quite  sure,  Colonel? 

BRISSAC.   Quite.   (Gendarmes  salute  and  exit  left.) 

BLONDE.    What  place  is  this  ? 

BRISSAC.    This,  my  friend,  is  a  cul-de-sac. 

BLONDE.    A  what? 

BRISSAC.  No  one  passes  through  here.  We  are, 
as  it  were,  in  the  bottom  of  a  bag. 

(RAT  enters  from  the  trap,  blinks  at  both  of  them 
and  runs  off  left.) 

BLONDE.    Good  Heavens,  what's  that? 

BRISSAC.  That,  my  friend,  is  a  Sewer  Rat — even 
in  this  quarter  of  Paris  considered  a  low  form  of  ani 
mal  life ! 

BLONDE.  (Wiping  his  face  with  a  large  handker 
chief)  Are  we  safe  here,  Colonel? 

BRISSAC.  We  are  not!  This  place — (Indicating 
cafe  with  his  cane) — is  the  famous  "Hole  in  the 
Sock." 

BLONDE.  (Nervously,  turning  to  go)  In  that 
case 


14  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

BRISSAC.     Wait!     Here  is  where  the  sisters  live! 
(RECAN  enters  swiftly,  approaching  BRISSAC.J 

BLONDE.    What? 

BRISSAC.  (Pointing  to  left  with  cane)  They  have 
a  room  in  that  house ! 

RECAN.  (Coming  down  left  of  DE  BRISSAC  and 
removing  hat)  Colonel! 

BRISSAC.  Ah,  Paul !  Paul,  this  is  M.  Felix  Blonde, 
the  lawyer  for  the  uncle  of  the  girls  you  have  been 
watching.  Blonde,  let  me  present  Recan,  my  brilliant 
and  efficient  secretary.  You  will  have  to  thank  him 
for  finding  the  girls. 

BLONDE.  (Pompously  crossing  to  and  shaking 
RECAN'S  hand)  I  can  never  express  my  gratitude, 
young  man.  (BLONDE  goes  L.  of  RECAN. ) 

BRISSAC.  Were  you  able  to  get  the  girls'  records 
from  the  Police  Department  ? 

RECAN.  (Producing  them  from  brief  case)  They 
are  here. 

BRISSAC.  (Taking  them)  Are  the  young  women 
in  the  house  now  ? 

RECAN.  The  elder  sister,  Nana,  is  in  the  house. 
She's  just  sent  the  younger  one  out. 

BRISSAC.  (Furious)  She's  gone !  You  let  her 
go? 

RECAN.  No,  my  Colonel.  She's  being  watched. 
She's  in  a  shop  at  the  end  of  the  lane.  Shall  I  have 
her  brought  to  you? 

BRISSAC.  Er — not  yet.  I'll  talk  to  the  older  sister 
first. 

RECAN.  (Going  right  towards  steps)  Yes,  sir. 
This  way,  Colonel. 

BRISSAC.  (Starts,  stops,  looks  at  the  house  in  dis 
gust)  No — no,  I  think  not.  Bring  her  out !  (Exit 
RECAN  into  the  house.  BRISSAC  returns  to  sidewalk 
rightj 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  15 

BLONDE.  It's  a  fine  thing  you're  doing,  Brissac — 
leaving  your  important  affairs  to  help  me  find  these 
girls.  I  can  never  thank  you 

BRISSAC.  (Looking  over  the  records)  It's  noth 
ing,  old  friend. 

BLONDE.  You  call  it  nothing  ?  To  put  your  whole 
staff  at  my  disposal !  In  all  fairness  I  should  pay 
you  the  fee  I  am  to  receive  for  bringing  these  girls 
back  to  their  uncle ! 

BRISSAC.  I  am  a  politician — God  help  me — and  we 
hold  our  positions  by  giving  and  receiving  favors. 

BLONDE.    I  see! 

BRISSAC.  (Tapping  papers)  These  records  show 
up  your  young  ladies  in  rather  an  unpleasant  light. 

BLONDE.     (Dismayed)     They've  been  bad? 

BRISSAC     One  of  them  has,  I'm  sure. 

BLONDE.    That's  dreadful ! 

BRISSAC.    Why? 

BLONDE.  (A  few  steps  R.)  I'm  wondering  what 
my  client — their  uncle — will  say — how  he  will  take 
this  news. 

BRISSAC.    What  kind  of  a  man  is  the  uncle? 

BLONDE.    Religious. 

BRISSAC.    That's  bad.    Protestant? 

BLONDE.     (Nods)    Calvinist ! 

BRISSAC.    (Frowning)    Good  God ! 

BLONDE.    Of  the  old,  hard,  uncompromising  kind ! 

BRISSAC.  (With  a  grimace)  I  know!  Uncle 
must  never  know  the  facts  about  these  girls. 

BLONDE.    But  we  can't  do  that 

BRISSAC.    We  will  do  it !    Look ! 

(Enter  NANA  from  house,  followed  by  RECAN.J 

BLONDE.  (In  a  low  tone,  to  DE  BRISSAC)  Good 
Heavens,  she's  ill ! 

BRISSAC.    No — absinthe ! 


16  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

RECAN.  (To  NANA,  giving  her  rough  push) 
This  way,  you!  (BLONDE  crosses  BRISSAC  left.) 

NANA.    What  do  you  want  with  me? 

RECAN.  (Angrily)  This  gentleman  wishes  to 
speak  with  you,  and  you'd  better  keep  a  decent 
tongue  in  your  head. 

BRISSAC.  It's  all  right,  Paul.  Just  see  that  we  are 
not  disturbed.  (RECAN  retires  u.c.  and  stands  up 
stage  on  guard.) 

NANA.  (Coming  to  bottom  of  steps)  What  do 
you  want?  (BLONDE  crosses  back  and  goes  D.L.J 

BRISSAC.  (Crossing  to  her;  politely)  A  little  in 
formation,  that's  all.  Will  you  please  tell  us  your 
name? 

NANA.     (After  a  pause)    Arlette  du  Fois. 

BLONDE.     (Stepping  forward)     Oh,  no,  it  isn't. 

NANA.     (Retreating  a  step)     Monsieur  Blonde ! 

BLONDE.  Ah — you  remember  me,  eh?  Now  tell 
this  gentleman  your  name ! 

NANA.    Nana  Vulmir. 

BLONDE.    Good ! 

NANA.    WThat — what  do  you  want  ? 

BLONDE.  I  have  been  sent  here  to  help  you.  This 
gentleman  found  you  for  me ! 

NANA.  He  is  the  police?  (Starts  up-stage;  RE- 
CAN  makes  a  movement  down-stage  to  stop  her.) 

BRISSAC.     Wait — wait — you  have  nothing  to  fear. 

NANA.    I've  done  nothing  wrong. 

BRISSAC.  I'm  very  glad  to  hear  it.  (Consults  rec 
ords.)  Why  did  you  two  girls  run  away  from  your 
Uncle  and  Aunt? 

NANA.  They  were  very  poor — treated  us  like  ser 
vants — made  us  go  to  church  four  times  a  day.  You 
wouldn't  like  that  yourself,  would  you? 

BRISSAC.  (With  a  smile)  No,  I  can  sympathize 
with  that ! 

NANA.     We  were  willing  to  go  back  later,  when 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  17 

we  found  how  hard  it  was,  but  they'd  left  the  coun 
try. 

BRISSAC.  Your  Uncle  Georges  became  a  trader  in 
the  South  Seas  and  has  made  a  fortune  in  the  pearl 
industry. 

NANA.  (Rises  and  crosses  to  him)  A  fortune ! 
You  mean  Uncle  Georges  Vulmir  is  rich ! 

BRISSAC.    So  our  story  does  interest  you  ? 

NANA.  (Crossing  to  right)  Uncle  Georges  is  rich 
— and  wants  us  ? 

BLONDE.    Yes. 

BRISSAC.  (Smilingly)  And  so,  Nana,  your 
troubles  are  over.  (NANA  sinks  slowly  on  barrel  in 
the  gutter.  RECAN  stays  up-stage.)  Congratulations 
— and  now  that  I  have  brought  you  together,  my  part 
is  done.  Monsieur  Blonde  will  take  charge  of  you. 
(Crosses  up  to  RECAN.J  Here,  Paul.  (Hands  him 
papers  which  RECAN  returns  to  portfolio.) 

BLONDE.  (Going  to  BRISSAC  and  just  above  him 
left)  Again  I  must  thank  you. 

BRISSAC.  Nonsense.  I  have  thoroughly  enjoyed 
the  experience.  Quite  a  romance,  eh,  Nana?  Out 
of  this  into  a  home  of  wealth! 

NANA.     (Dazed)     Wealth ! 

BRISSAC.  (Taking  card  and  pencil  from  pocket) 
Monsieur  Blonde  will  take  you  to  their  hotel  tonight. 
(To  BLONDE;  Hotel  St.  Roc— isn't  it  ?  (Then  turn 
ing  to  NANA.J  Rue  Comartin.  (Writes  address  on 
card.) 

BLONDE.    Better  still — they're  coming  here. 

BRISSAC.  (Turning  back  to  him  abruptly)  What's 
that  you  say? 

BLONDE.  Why,  I  telegraphed  Vulmir  when  I  re 
ceived  your  note  to  meet  us  here  at  six — in  front  of 
this  sacristy  door. 

BRISSAC.  That's  too  bad.  (Looks  at  watch.) 
It's  not  too  late  to  stop  them.  They  can  come  only 


i8  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

one  way.  Hurry,  Blonde.   (Takes  his  arm  and  starts 
him  off.) 

BLONDE.  (Starts  off  left  and  then  hesitates)  I 
don't  understand 

BRISSAC.  (Going  to  him)  You  surely  don't  want 
your  religious  client  to  find  her  in  that  condition — 
in  this  environment 

BLONDE.     (Vaguely  comprehending)     I   see 

BRISSAC.  (Looking1  at  her)  This  young  woman 
may  have  made  her  mistakes,  but  I  prefer  her  to  your 
Calvinist  uncle  and  aunt.  Take  the  old  people  back 
to  their  hotel.  The  girls  will  follow. 

BLONDE.    Yes. 

BRISSAC.  I  think  we  can  trust  Nana  to  invent  a 
good  story  to  tell  your  uncle,  can't  we,  Nana? 

NANA.  (Eagerly,  at  the  same  time  awed)  Oh, 
yes. 

BLONDE.  (Going  U.L.,)  I'll  go  and  stop  them. 
(He  exits  left.) 

BRISSAC.  Paul,  you  go  and  bring  the  young  one 
here.  (RECAN  exits  U.R.J  Hotel  St.  Roc — Rue 
Comartin.  (Hands  NANA  the  card.)  There,  go 
pack  your  things  at  once  and  take  your  sister  there 
as  fast  as  you  can.  (  NANA,  rising,  goes  quickly  tow 
ard  the  house,  and  up  steps.)  Do  you  think  you  can 
pull  yourself  together — give  up  absinthe? 
^  NANA.  (With  an  eager  laugh)  Huh-uh!  Yes, 
sir — yes,  sir.  (Exits  into  house  left.) 

BRISSAC.    (Going  up-stage)    I  wonder ! 

VOICES.  (PI ear d  off-stage)  Police!  There  he 
goes !  Catch  him !  Stop  thief  ! 

(BRISSAC  gives  a  shrug  as  he  places  a  cigarette  in  his 
long  amber  holder  and  goes  up-stage  to  the  sac 
risty  door,  watching  BOUL  enter  from  the  wine 
shop.  In  dashes  THE  SEWER  RAT,  from  U.L., 
holding  a  fat  silver  watch  and  chain,  which  he 
hands  to  BOUL,  who,  with  one  engulfing  gesture, 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  19 

pushes  the  RAT  into  the  taxicab,  shuts  the  door 
and  pockets  the  watch.  Voices  grow  louder. 
BOUL  industriously  rubs  his  taxi  with  a  cloth. 
SERGEANT  OF  POLICE  dashes  on,  followed  by  a 
Priest,  a  human  little  man  with  an  honest  face. 
His  spectacles  hang  from  one  of  his  ears.  He 
is  clinging  to  the  SERGEANT'S  coat  tails.) 

SERGEANT.  Let  me  go — I  can  catch  the  thief  and 
arrest  him ! 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  (Going  front  of  him  and  push 
ing  him  back.  They  are  just  left  of  cab)  But  I 
don't  want  him  arrested ! 

SERGEANT.    But  he  stole  your  watch,  good  Father. 

PERE  CHEVILLON.    It  was  my  joke ! 

BRISSAC.  (Coming  down  right  of  CHEVILLON ) 
You  call  it  a  joke  to  be  robbed  of  your  watch? 

CHEVILLON.  But  the  watch  has  no  value — it  is 
made  of  tin ! 

SERGEANT.    Tin ! 

BRISSAC.  (Stepping  forward  with  an  interested 
smile)  Tin ! 

BOUL.  Tin!  (Scratching  his  head  ruefully,  he 
exits  into  Inn  R.J 

CHEVILLON.  (To  BRISSAC,)  Yes.  With  a  tin 
watch  as  my  bait,  I  find  out  who  the  thieves  are,  and 
when  I've  found  them,  I  convert  and  baptize  the  ras 
cals — is  it  not  a  good  joke  on  them  ?  You  see,  I  buy 
them  by  the  dozen  at  the  Bon  Marche.  (Holds  up 
three  fat  watches  and  chains.) 

SERGEANT.  (Laughing,  as  he  goes  off  U.L.)  Ha, 
ha!  Good  day,  Father.  The  man  who  has  it  now 
must  feel  a  fine  fool !  (He  exits.) 

BRISSAC.  (Stepping  forward)  Bravo !  You  are 
a  priest  after  my  own  heart !  Here !  (Opening  door 
of  taxi,  and  reaching  in,  he  pulls  the  RAT  out  by  the 
ear  and  swings  him  around  between  them.)  I  pick 
the  snail  out  of  his  shell  for  you — here's  your  con- 


20  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

vert !  I  would  advise  baptism  on  the  spot — he  needs 
a  bath.  (Closes  cab  door  and  dusts  fingers.) 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  (Holding  his  sides)  Ha,  ha! 
La,  la!  What  a  prize (They  both  laugh.) 

BRISSAC.    Can  you  make  a  saint  of  that? 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  (With  a  shrug)  Not  perhaps 
in  a  moment,  but  now  that  we  know  him  and  his 
weakness,  we  will  help  him  in  good  time.  What's 
your  name,  my  poor  child  ? 

RAT.    Pierre. 

PERE  CHEVILLON.    Where  do  you  work  ? 

RAT.  (Crossing  to  sewer)  In  the  sewer  with 
Chico.  (Opens  sewer  trap.) 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  (Delighted)  Chico!  The  very 
man  I've  been  looking  for — won't  you  bring  him  to 
me? 

RAT.    (Frowning)    Chico  hates  priests ! 

BRISSAC.    Hates  priests — why? 

RAT.     (Opens  sewer)     Because  he  is  an  atheist! 

BRISSAC.  An  atheist — evidently  you  are  badly 
needed  here,  good  Father. 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  Yet  that  atheist  saved  a  priest's 
life.  My  nose  in  a  book — an  omnibus  on  top  of  me 
— when  the  ground  opened  and  Chico  rose  like  St. 
Aloysius  and  snatched  me  away  from  death!  Child, 
go  and  tell  Chico  his  friend  is  the  new  priest  here 
at  the  church  of  the  Heavenly  Angels  and  to  come 
and  see  me,  for  I  have  something  very  important  to 
give  him.  Do  you  understand? 

RAT.    Yes,  Monsieur. 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  (Pointing  his  finger  menacing 
ly  at  his  nose)  As  for  you — no  more  pocket-picking ! 
From  now  on  you  are  going  to  be  good — aren't  you  ? 

RAT.  ( Gets  sewer  open  and  is  half  into  it)  Oh, 
I  hope  so! 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  You  can't  escape  me !  I  shall 
haunt  you — I  shall  follow  you  to  the  uttermost 
depths  of  the  sewer  and  shall  purify  you,  if  I  have  to 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  21 

break  every  bone  in  your  body!  (He  has  followed 
the  RAT  with  his  threatening  finger  to  the  sewer  while 
the  RAT  disappears,  closing  the  trap  after  him.) 

BRISSAC.     Wonderful,    good    Father — wonderful! 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  (Crossing  R.  to  BRISSAC,  tak 
ing  snuff)  Alas,  it  isn't  altogether  the  fault  of  these 
poor  children  that  they  are  criminals.  I  know  the 
medicine  that  would  cure  most  of  their  ills.  (Sits  on 
barrel.) 

BRISSAC.    And  what  is  that,  Father? 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  Work !  Honest  work — up  here 
in  the  sunshine — would  save  their  souls  quicker  than 
all  my  sermons. 

BRISSAC.  The  Department  needs  men  in  the  Street 
Cleaning  Service. 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  Yes,  but  what  hope  have  these 
men  against  official  red  tape  ? 

BRISSAC.  Well — er — how  would  you  like  to  have 
the  authority  to  appoint  such  men  as  you  think  fit  for 
positions  in  the  Street  Service  ? 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  That  would  be  a  privilege  in 
deed. 

BRISSAC.  (Handing  him  a  card  on  which  he  has 
been  writing)  It  is  yours !  One  good  man  like  you 
is  worth  all  our  departments;  you  have  merely  to 
send  them  to  this  address. 

(BouL  comes  from  Inn  R.  and  starts  toward  cab.) 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  (Reads)  Commissioner  of  Po 
lice! 

(BouL,   in  horror,  turns  and  hastily  retreats  into 

Inn.) 
s 

BRISSAC.  The  Commissioner  is  a  good  friend  of 
mine — he  will  only  be  too  happy  to  have  your  co 
operation. 


22  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  (Rising  and  going  to  the  sac- 
risfy  door)  Thank  you,  my  son.  You  have  given 
me  real  happiness.  I  will  have  great  fun  dispensing 
this  tonic.  Ha,  ha !  (Opens  the  small  sacristy  door, 
the  light  from  within  shining  on  him.) 

BRISSAC.  (Following  him  up  to  door)  Life  is  a 
joke  to  you,  good  Father? 

PERE  CHEVILLON.  The  Bon  Dieu  has  made  the 
world  a  very  amusing  place.  We  all  must  be  very 
droll  to  Him.  He  must  laugh  all  the  time. 

(BRISSAC  removes  his  hat  as  CHEVILLON  exits  into 
church.  BRISSAC  stands  for  a  moment  smiling. 
Walks  down  right  as  DIANE  enters  running 
down  the  little  lane  U.R.  in  terror,  followed  by 
RE  CAN.  She  runs  into  BRISSAC,  then  turns  to 
retreat,  but  RECAN  bars  the  way.) 

RECAN.    No,  you  don't. 

BRISSAC.     Is  this  the  younger  sister,  Paul? 

RECAN.  Yes,  Colonel — I  caught  her  trying  to  sell 
this.  (Hands  DE  BRISSAC  the  brooch.)  Look  up — 
you!  (He  thrusts  DIANE  forward  sharply.  She 
looks  up  into  DE  BRISSAC'S  face.) 

BRISSAC.  (After  a  pause — half  to  himself)  Are 
you  sure  this  is  the  young  woman,  Paul  ?  Why,  she's 
beautiful. 

RECAN.  Yes,  Colonel,  this  is  Diane  Vulmir — alias 
Denise  du  Fois.  (DE  BRISSAC  gives  him  a.  significant 
nod  and  RECAN  retires  and  stands  on  guard  u.c.j 

BRISSAC.  (Regarding  her  thoughtfully  for  some 
moments,  asks  in  low  voice)  Are  you  a  thief  ? 

DIANE.    No. 

BRISSAC.  Then  where  did  you  get  this  ?  (DIANE 
hangs  her  head.)  Stop  trembling — don't  be  afraid. 

DIANE.     (In  terror)    Are  you  the  police? 

BRISSAC.     (Shakes  his  head)     I  want  to  be  your 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  23 

friend — don't  you  know  it's  just  as  wrong  to  sell  a 
stolen  thing  as  to  steal  it  ? 

DIANE.    Yes. 

BRISSAC.  Then  this  is  stolen?  ( DIANE  starts.) 
Is  somebody  making  you  do  this?  (Pause,  she  does 
not  answer.)  You  needn't  tell  me  anything  you  don't 
want  to. 

DIANE.  (Trembling)  Am  I  going  to  prison? 
(RECAN  saunters  off  U.L.^ 

BRISSAC.  (Takes  her  by  the  arms  and  scats  her 
on  barrel  R.  of  c.)  No.  Now,  if  you  had  a  chance 
to  be  a  good  girl,  do  you  think  you  could  stop  this 
sort  of  thing? 

DIANE.  Yes — oh,  oh,  yes  ! 

BRISSAC.    Well,  your  chance  has  come. 

DIANE.    What? 

BRISSAC.  Once  you  lived  for  a  while  with  an  uncle 
and  aunt. 

DIANE.     (Amazed)     How  do  you  know?    \ 

BRISSAC.  I  should  say  that  was  the  happiest  time 
of  your  life — wasn't  it? 

DIANE.     (Staring  at  him)    Yes. 

BRISSAC.  (Quietly)  Well,  they  have  not  forgotten 
you. 

DIANE.    What  do  you  say  ? 

BRISSAC.  They  are  here  in  Paris  and  they  want 
you  to  come  home  with  them. 

DIANE.    Here — they  are  here? 

BRISSAC.  Yes,  and  your  uncle  is  able  to  give  you 
•every  luxury.  He  is  rich ! 

DIANE.    Rich ! 

BRISSAC.  So  now  you  will  have  a  good  home  care 
and  love.  It's  like  a  fairy  story,  eh?  (Opens  his 
palm  and  shows  brooch.) 

DIANE.  (Looking  at  the  brooch;  hangs  her  head) 
But  how  can  we  go  to  them  now  ?  It's  too  late. 

BRISSAC.    It  is  never  too  late  if  you  are  in  earnest. 


24  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

I've  had  a  talk  with  your  sister — she  will  tell  you 
what  to  do  and  say.  You  must  forget  the  past. 

DIANE.    We  are  to  lie  to  them  then  ? 

BRISSAC.  (Taking  a  step  toward  her)  Why  tell 
them  unhappy  truths  ? 

DIANE.  (Rising)  Ye-es.  I  suppose  you're  right. 
(Crosses  L.  to  stairs.) 

BRISSAC.  (Gaily)  Come,  come — cheer  up! 
You're  a  very  young  thing  and  young  things,  given 
the  right  surroundings  and  large  quantities  of  happi 
ness,  can  make  themselves  over  in  no  time. 

DIANE.  (Catching  his  mood  and  laughing  eager 
ly)  You  are  kind  and  I  thought  you  were  a  police 
man! 

BRISSAC.  Ha,  ha!  Instead  of  being  a  policeman 
I'm  by  way  of  being  a  fairy  godmother.  Come,  it's 
delightful  in  a  cynical  world  and  warms  my  heart  to 
be  able  to  wave  a  magic  wand.  Quick — pack  your 
bag  and  go  to  the  palace  before  midnight  is  struck ! 

DIANE.    The  palace? 

BRISSAC.  (Waving  an  imaginary  wand)  Hotel 
St.  Roc,  of  course — Rue  Comartin.  They  are  wait 
ing  for  you  with  smiling  faces — good  fortune  and 
romance ! 

DIANE.  (Runs  up  two  steps  and  then  leaning  over 
railing  gives  him  her  hand — laughing  and  eager) 
Thank  you — and  God  bless  you. 

(Enter  LAMPLIGHTER,  who  lights  a  bracket  lamp  on 
the  corner  of  the  house,  then  crosses  to  lamp 
post  right.) 

BRISSAC.  My  last  word  of  advice — be  happy, 
for  when  you  smile  you  are  beautiful — lovely ! 

DIANE.  (Happily)  Good-bye!  (BRISSAC  kisses 
her  hand;  she  turns  to  go;  then  pauses.) 

BRISSAC.     (Laughing,   yet   moved)    Au   revoir — 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  25 

sweet  child!  (DIANE  exits  into  house.  BRISSAC 
turns  gaily  and  sees  the  old  LAMPLIGHTER  lighting 
his  lamp.)  Hello,  Master  Liberty  ! 

LAMPLIGHTER.  (Sourly)  My  name  is  Margo — 
August  Margo ! 

BRISSAC.  But  you're  lighting  the  world!  (LAMP 
LIGHTER  grunts  and  exits  U.R.  As  BRISSAC  goes  off, 
he  murmurs  half  to  himself)  Let  me  see — who  said 
"Let  there  be  light"?  Oh,  yes.  (Exits  left.) 

VULMIR.  (In  angry  tone — off-stage)  But  you're 

wrong — but  you're  wrong (It  is  UNCLE 

GEORGES  VULMIR,  followed  by  AUNT  VALENTINE. 
They  enter  through  the  lane  U.R.  UNCLE  GEORGES 
is  a  tall,  solemn  man  with  a  missionary  look.  His 
face  is  browned  by  the  tropics.  Dressed  in  pongee, 
a  brown  varnished  straw  hat  and  carrying  a  whale 
bone  cane,  he  makes  a  strange  figure  in  these  sur 
roundings.  AUNT  VALENTINE,  is  dressed  in  a  dark 
old-fashioned  gown.)  There,  what  did  I  tell  you, 
Valentine?  This  lane  opens  out  on  the  back  of  the 
church ! 

VALENTINE.  (Always  gentle)  I  think  you're 
right,  dear. 

VULMIR.  This  must  be  the  sacristy  door.  We 
were  on  the  wrong  side.  I  told  you  so. 

VALENTINE.  (Always  agreeing)  Yes,  dear, 
you're  right. 

VULMIR.  (Looking  about  in  disgust,  as  he  mops 
his  brow)  Now,  where's  Blonde,  the  old  fool ! 

VALENTINE.  (Reads  from  a  note)  The  note 
says  to  wait  for  him  here. 

(  DIANE  appears  in  doorway  L.  and  stares  at  them.) 

VULMIR.  Wait!  I  won't  wait  another  minute. 
(Crossing  R.  Looking  about  with  disfavor.)  Do 
you  mean  to  tell  me  he  found  our  nieces  in  this  dread 
ful  place  ?  Valentine,  I  don't  like  it. 


26  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

VALENTINE.  Please,  Georges,  of  course  you're 
right.  But  don't  let  us  judge  them  before  we've  seen 
them.  (He  crosses  left  and  up.) 

VULMIR.    Come  along. 

DIANE.  (Coming  down  the  steps  and  toward  them 
— then  hesitating — irresolute)  Aunt  Valentine ! 

VALENTINE.  (Running  and  embracing  her)  It's 
Diane — the  little  one — the  bebe,  the  dear  one ! 

DIANE.    Uncle  Georges  !     I  can't  believe  it's  you ! 

VALENTINE.  See,  Georges,  our  bebe  is  a  woman. 
(VALENTINE  holds  DIANE  in  her  arms  while  VUL 
MIR  holds  one  of  her  hands.) 

DIANE.  (Seeing  ring  on  his  hand)  I  remember 
that  ring — it's  made  of  tortoise  shell. 

VULMIR.  (With  a  dry  smile)  You  remember  my 
ring — do  you  remember  the  prayers  I  taught  you? 

DIANE.  Yes.  (Still  gripping  his  hand,  she  lays 
her  head  on  AUNT  VALENTINE'S  bosom.)  How  good 
you  smell — of  sandal  wood — and  fresh  linen — you 
smell  of  home. 

VALENTINE.  (Tearfully)  Ha!  Ha!  You  hear, 
Georges,  the  little  puppy!  She  smells  her  kind. 
(Bursts  into  tears.) 

VULMIR.  If  you  keep  this  up  you'll  flood  the 
Seine ! 

VALENTINE.  (Wiping  her  eyes  and  fairly  gulp 
ing)  Of  course,  of  course  you're  right.  I  mustn't — 

(NANA  enters  left  and  runs  down  steps.) 

VULMIR.    Where  do  you  live,  Diane? 

DIANE.    Why,  we  live 

NANA.  Uncle  Georges — Aunt  Valentine — how 
good  to  see  you  again!  (Kisses  UNCLE  GEORGES 
and  crosses  to  VALENTINE  and  embraces  her.) 

VULMIR.     (Shocked)     Is  this  Nana? 

NANA.    But  we  were  to  meet  you  at  your  hotel. 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  27 

VALENTINE.  Nana,  how  pale  you  look !  (Crosses 
to  her.) 

VULMIR.     (Frowning)     You  live  in  that  house? 

NANA.  (Volubly)  Yes,  Uncle  Georges — and 
you've  no  idea  how  hard  it  has  been  to  keep  decent  in 
a  place  like  this.  (Starts  R.  to  DIANE.J 

VALENTINE.  (Quickly)  We  understand,  my 
dear. 

NANA.  (Going  to  DIANEJ  But  we  have  kept  de 
cent,  haven't  we,  Diane?  ( DIANE  is  sitting  on  barrel 
R.  There  is  a  pause  as  GEORGES  turns  his  eyes  on 
DIANE,  in  cold  scrutiny.  NANA'S  eyes  are  full  of 
menace.  DIANE  regards  them  for  a  moment  impass 
ively,  then  turns  her  head  away.  Hurriedly,  continu 
ing)  Poor  child,  she  knows  how  we  have  struggled. 
How  I've  had  to  fight  every  step  of  the  way  to  keep 
flesh  and  bone  together — and  to  protect  Diane.  It's 
well  you  came  in  time.  (Going  to  her  aunt.) 

VALENTINE.  We  had  faith  in  you.  We  always 
knew  the  good  blood  of  our  family  would  keep  you 
from  harm.  (Crossing  to  DIANE.J 

DIANE.    But  it  hasn't. 

NANA.    Diane ! 

VULMIR.    What's  that? 

DIANE.    I  said  it  hasn't  kept  us  from  harm. 

NANA.  Don't  listen  to  her — she  always  imagines 
she's  done  wrong. 

DIANE.  (Crossing  to  NANA,)  Oh,  what's  the  use 
— lies — lies — you'd  only  find  out  sooner  or  later. 

NANA.  She  doesn't  mean  that,  Uncle  Georges, 
she  just  imagines 

VULMIR.  (Crossing  to  DIANEJ  Be  quiet,  you! 
I  want  the  truth,  Diane — the  truth. 

DIANE.  We've  not  been  good.  We've  not  been 
good. 

VULMIR.    I  knew  it !    I  feared  it  all  the  time ! 

VALENTINE.     Wait,    Georges;    of    course    you're 


28  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

right,   but (Going  between  DIANE  and  VUL- 

MIR.j 

VULMIR.  (Crossing  left  and  threatening  NANAJ 
Curse  this  Sodom  and  Gomorrah.  Curse  both  of 
you ! —  Why,  you ! 

VALENTINE.  (Crossing  to  VULMIR^)  Georges, 
please  don't  be  angry. 

VULMIR.    Come  away  from  here ! 

NANA.     Please,  Uncle  Georges,  let  me  explain — 

VALENTINE.    Yes,  Georges,  let  Nana  explain. 

VULMIR.  (u.c.J  More  lies — come  away,  I  tell 
you! 

VALENTINE.  We  can't  leave  them  like  this — 
they're  poor. 

VULMIR.  (Taking  from  pocket  and  throwing  a 
few  hundred-franc  notes  on  the  ash-barrel)  There, 
let  them  have  that,  then !  Get  away  from  her ! 

VALENTINE.  (Clinging  to  DIANEJ  But,  Georges, 
they  are  Ernestine's  children ! 

VULMIR.    Valentine,  do  you  mean  to  disobey  me? 

VALENTINE.  (Going  up  to  him)  No,  Georges,  of 
course  not,  but 

VULMIR.  Then  do  as  I  command.  Not  another 
word  from  you,  I  tell  you — not  another  word.  Come 
away,  Valentine,  come  away!  (He  pulls  her  away 
from  DIANE  and  drags  her  to  U.L.  VALENTINE 
weeping  and  protesting  inarticulately.  DIANE  has 
dropped  on  the  bench.  NANA  deliberately  picks  up 
the  money  and  counts  it}  tucking  it  in  her  bosom,, 
then  turns  to  DIANE  threateningly.) 

DIANE.  (Fear  turning  her  feet  to  stone)  Oh,  no, 
please,  Nana — Nana,  please!  (NANA  is  silent.) 
Na-na — Nana — please!  (NANA  moves  like  a  cat 
toward  DIANE,  who  retreats  a  few  steps  right,  grow 
ing  weaker  in  her  terror.  NANA  comes  to  DIANE, 
who  is  cringing,  pushes  her  sleeves  further  back,  then 
putting  her  strong  fingers  slowly  through  DIANE'S 
hair,  suddenly  clutches  at  her  throat.  DIANE  screams 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  29 

and  tries  vainly  to  free  herself  and  N ANA'S  fingers 
deliberately  close  around  her  throat  and  begin  slowly 
with  all  their  strength  to  strangle  her.  DIANE  falls 
on  her  back  and  NAN  A  falls  with  her,  clinging  to  her 
throat  like  a  big  black  cat.  They  lie  in  the  gutter  to 
gether.  On  second  scream,  BOUL  runs  out  of  the 
wine  shop,  having  heard  the  cries.) 

BOUL.  Here,  here!  For  the  love  of  God — what 
are  you  doing  there?  Help!  Help!  Help!  some 
one!  (He  tries  in  vain  to  pull  NANA  off  by  the 
shoulders.) 

(Suddenly  the  sewer  trap  is  pushed  open  from  below 
beside  DIANE'S  face  and  up  out  of  the  man-hole 
springs  a  handsome  young  giant,  with  curling 
hair  and  whipcord  muscles  in  his  neck.  He 
wears  a  gay  checked  shirt,  huge  velveteen 
breeches,  a  red  sash,  a  beret  worn  at  the  ex 
treme  side  of  his  face.  He  leaps  out,  closing  the 
trap,  showing  a  smiling  flash  of  white  teeth. 
His  hair  is  dishevelled — his  clothes  worn  and 
shabby.) 

CHICO.  (In  high  spirits)  Hello  !  What  the  devil 
— hell-cats  fighting ! 

BOUL.     (In  horror)     She's  killing  her ! 

CHICO.  (Catching  NANA  by  the  back  of  the  neck, 
holds  her  up  like  a  cat)  Stop  that !  Leave  her  alone  ! 
(NANA  hurls  herself  at  him,  scratching  his  face.) 
I'll  cut  your  claws !  I'll  show  you  what  I'll  do  with 
you !  (Catching  both  her  wrists  he  holds  them  above 
her  head,  deftly  kicks  her  feet  from  under  her  and 
then  slips  her  body  down  into  the  man-hole  out  of 
sight.  We  hear  muffled  cries.  BOUL  in  the  mean 
while  has  lifted  DIANE  to  the  taxi,  lays  her  along  the 
mudguard,  covering  her  head  and  shoulders  with  her 
old  shawl.  She  keeps  herself  covered  thus  until  later 
cue.)  Now  we  can  discuss  this  more  calmly.  (He 
pulls  her  up  a  little  way.) 


30  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

NANA.  (In  agony  of  fear)  Don't  drop  me! 
Don't  drop  me ! 

CHICO.  Now,  sweet  lady,  let  us  have  a  little  reason 
here.  Will  you  promise 

NANA.    I'll  promise  anything.    Don't  drop  me ! 

CHICO.  (Lifting  her  out  to  safety)  Good !  Now, 
if  I  ever  catch  you  abusing  this  woman,  I  shall  come 
for  you  wherever  you  are.  I'll  cut  out  your  gizzard 
and  fry  it. 

NANA.    (Under  her  breath)    Oh,  my  God ! 

CHICO.  Get  out  of  here !  (He  gives  a  jump  at 
her  with  arms  in  air.)  Yah!  (NANA  runs  out  in 
terror  U.L.  CHICO  draws  a  large  bandana  from  his 
trouser  pocket,  wipes  his  face.)  Whew!  Now,  I 
ask  you,  Comrade  Boul,  why  the  devil  did  I  do  that  ? 
It's  no  affair  of  mine.  I  am  always  doing  the  thing 
I  don't  want  to  do.  Every  time  I  come  up  out  of  the 
sewer,  I  get  into  trouble. 

(RAT  enters  from  sewer,  goes  to  taxi  and  gets  bun 
dle.) 

BOUL.  (Who  has  lain  DIANE  along  the  mudguard 
of  the  taxi,  in  an  awed  voice)  You  saved  her  life, 
Chico. 

CHICO.  (Removing  jacket)  What  good  is  it? 
Why  have  I  saved  a  creature  like  that  ?  A  thousand 
times  better  for  everyone  if  she  were  dead.  (Closing 
trap.) 

BOUL.  (Patting  DIANE  with  rough  sympathy  as 
she  slowly  recovers  consciousness)  There — there — 
your  sister  won't  harm  you  again. 

RAT.    Dinner  is  served ! 

CHICO.    What  did  you  get  ? 

RAT.     (Handing  him  bundle)     Look ! 

CHICO.  (Picks  out  large  sausage)  Truffles !  (A 
hunk  of  cheese.)  Caviarre  de  Russe !  (RAT  crosses 
to  gutter  and  holds  up  a  big  onion.)  And  violets.1 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  31 

(BouL  hands  him  the  bottle  of  wine  and  loaf  of 
bread  which  he  has  unearthed  from  the  seat  of  the 
taxi.)  And  champagne !  (BouL  annexes  the  wine 
and  opens  it  with  care.  RAT  peels  the  onions,  while 
CHICO  produces  a  long,  thin  clasp-knife  which  he 
opens  with  a  snap  and  cuts  the  bread  against  his 
breast.  BOUL  has  returned  to  DIANE.)  Come,  Com 
rade  Boul,  leave  her  alone.  Dinner  is  more  impor 
tant. 

BOUL.  (Growling)  Then  why  do  you  keep  me 
waiting  every  day  now? 

CHICO.  The  sewer  is  an  exacting  master.  Stop 
your  snout  with  that!  (Places  a  hunk  of  bread  on 
the  end  of  his  knife  and  thrusts  it  towards  BOUL'S 
mouth.  But  he  is  still  troubled.  He  rises  and  goes 
to  DIANE,  still  cutting  bread;  looks  down  at  her  with 
a  wry  face.)  Still  a  little  sick,  eh?  Your  stomach 
feels  nervous  ? —  Like  this  ?  (He  opens  his  hand  and 
closes  it.  Then  to  RAT)  Hey,  give  me  that  violet. 
(RAT  brings  an  onion  and  stands  left  of  him  as 
CHICO  jabs  it  on  the  end  of  his  knife,  placing  it  un 
der  her  nose.  She  draws  away.  RAT  laughs  loudly.) 
There  you  have  it — she's  cured!  (He  gives  knife 
back  to  RAT.  Walks  away;  then  turns  and  looks 
back  at  her.  RAT  returns  to  gutter.)  Come,  you 
can't  stay  there.  You're  going  to  eat  with  us ! 

DIANE.     (Weakly)     No,  thank  you. 

CHICO.  What's  that?  You  don't  think  I'm  going 
to  let  you  sit  there  like  a  dead  rat  and  spoil  our 
party? 

BOUL.    Aw,  leave  her  alone,  Chico. 

CHICO.  I  will  not.  Come  along,  get  up !  (He 
lifts  her  and  assists  her  doum  to  gutter;  where  she 
sits  at  the  right  of  RAT.)  Sit  down  there — here,  eat. 
(Gives  her  some  bread.)  You're  not  dead.  If  you 
keep  thinking  you're  dead — -you  are  dead !  (Crosses 
back  to  BouLj  That's  true,  Boul.  I've  proved  that 
to  myself.  That's  why  I  know  so  much.  That's  why 


32  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

I  am  a  very  remarkable  fellow.  (Sits.)  That's  why 
I  am  an  atheist !  (GouiN  enters  with  hose.) 

BOUL.  (Pointing  left,  in  a  low  whisper)  Look ! — 
Maximilian  Gobin,  the  Street  Washer!  (Cmco 
turns  swiftly  and  is  plainly  awed.) 

CHICO.  (Aside  to  BOULJ  Let's  ask  him  to  join 
us! 

BOUL.  That  snob  !  Talk  to  you  ?  You're  too  low 
for  him,  Chico. 

CHICO.  Is  that  so?  (Bowing  to  GOBIN  as  he 
crosses  to  Inn.)  Good  evening,  Citizen  Street 
Washer.  (  GOBIN  gives  him  a  surly  look  as  he  pro 
ceeds  on  his  way.)  Will  you  do  me  the  honor  of  din 
ing  with  us  ? 

GOBIN.  (Deliberately;  looking  over  his  shoulder 
at  CHICO)  Dine  with  you  !  No !  (Goes  into  Inn.) 

CHICO.  (Hurt;  clears  his  throat)  You're  right, 
Boul. 

BOUL.  (Judicially)  Of  course,  I'm  right.  Never 
forget — (Picks  up  sausage) — the  hose  represents  a 
social  position  higher  than  the  sewer !  (Hands 
CHICO  the  sausage.) 

CHICO.  Social  position (Sits.)  Now  I  ask 

you,  what  is  our  liberty,  fraternity,  equality? 
Words !  Words  !  That's  why  I'm  an  atheist.  Why 
should  that  sheep's  bladder  have  the  hose  while  I  am 
kept  down  among  the  drain  pipes  ?  M e — who  I  know 
am  a  very  remarkable  fellow !  It's  easy  to  see  that  I 
am  that ! 

BOUL.    Chico,  what  made  you  an  atheist  ? 

CHICO.  Everything.  Women  like  that (Jerks 

his  thumb  at  DIANE.)  Did  God  make  her  on  pur 
pose  to  live  in  the  gutter — to  be  beaten  and  stran 
gled? 

BOUL.    But,  Chico,  you  don't  understand. 

CHICO.  Oh,  I  understand  right  enough.  Of 
course,  there  is  no  God.  You  have  only  to  look 
around  you  at  life. 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  33 

BOUL.    I  know  there  is. 

CHICO.    How  do  you  know  ? 

BOUL.    I've  proved  it. 

CHICO.    (Sits)    How? 

BOUL.    A  hundred  ways. 

CHICO.    All  right.    Name  one ! 

BOUL.  The  idea  proves  itself.  There  must  be  a 
Bon  Dieu — otherwise  who  made  good  things  of  life 
— this  wine — this  cheese — this  onion — France  and 
Frenchmen  ? 

CHICO.    Wait !    Did  the  Bon  Dieu  make  me? 

BOUL.     (Hesitatingly)     Certainly ! 

CHICO.    And  you  ? 

BOUL.     (Cheerfully)     Of  course. 

CHICO.     (Indicating  RAT)     And  that? 

BOUL.  (With  a  look  at  the  RAT;  then  confiden 
tially  to  CHICO,)  We-ell,  everybody  makes  mistakes 
sometimes. 

CHICO.  Let's  ask  her.  (Rises  and  goes  to  DIANE; 
kicks  her  foot.)  Hey,  you  !  (  DIANE  looks  up  slow 
ly.)  Do  you  believe  there  is  a  Bon  Dieu? 

DIANE.    I  always  have — but 

CHICO.  But — but — you  see,  she  doesn't  know. 
Nobody  else  does ! 

BOUL.  But  you've  got  to  have  faith,  Chico. 
You've  got  to  believe. 

CHICO.     (Now  down  right)     Huh ! 

BOUL.  I  can  tell  you  faith  has  worked  a  miracle 
with  me ! 

CHICO.    A  miracle !    Pooh ! 

BOUL.  Pooh,  nonsense.  My  old  horse,  Eloise, 
dropped  dead.  I  had -nothing.  I  prayed  to  St.  An- 
toine  for  a  taxi.  Three  days  later  my  friend  Albert 
died  and  left  me  his  machine  and  it's  been  running 
ever  since — sometimes ! 

CHICO.  So  your  good,  kind  Bon  Dieu — to  give 
you  that  taxi — murders  your  friend  Albert? 

BOUL.    Yes — no  —no — yes! 


34  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

CHICO.  (With  derision)  Yes — no — no — yes. 
That's  religion.  (Laughs.  Crosses  around  back  to 
left  of  BOUL.; 

BOUL.  (Filling  an  old  pipe)  Chico,  the  trouble 
with  you  is — you're  ignorant !  You  know  nothing  of 
the  beauty  and  consolation  of  religion. 

CHICO.  (Going  left  to  coat  and  getting  cigarettes 
and  matches)  Religion — huh!  Let  me  tell  you 
something !  I'm  an  atheist  because  I  was  religious ! 
I've  gone  all  through  that. 

BOUL.    Did  you  ever  pray  ? 

CHICO.  (Taking  center)  Pray?  How  I  have 
prayed !  I've  prayed  so  long  and  so  loud  that  unless 
your  Bon  Dieu  was  deaf  He  must  have  heard  me.  I 
gave  him  a  fair  test — three  times. 

BOUL.    Three  times  ? 

CHICO.  (Holding  up  fingers)  Three  times! 
First,  I  prayed  for  the  hose.  Above  all  things,  you 
know  my  ambition  was  to  be  a  Street  Washer — to 
carry  the.  hose — that  thing- !  (Points  to  it.)  I  wanted 
to  wash  the  streets  up  here  among  people  and  sun 
shine.  I  chose  the  finest  church  in  Paris — the  ca 
thedral  of  Notre  Dame — and  bought  the  largest  can 
dle  in  the  place  for  five  francs. 

BOUL.    (Awed)     Five  francs — that's  money ! 

CHICO.  (Nodding  gravely)  But  I  didn't  get  it.  So 
I  said  perhaps  the  Bon  Dieu,  if  there  is  any,  meant 
me  for  a  sewer  man.  You  see,  I  am  a  philosopher. 
Then  I  wanted  another  thing — again  I  lit  a  candle — 
five  francs  more. 

BOUL.    What  was  that  for  ? 

CHICO.  (With  an  embarrassed  smile — rather  wist 
fully)  A  wife  with  yellow  hair. 

BOUL.     (Laughing)    A  wife? 

CHICO.  I  prayed  for  a  good  wife.  I  prayed  till  I 
sweat.  Bah — nothing  turned  up.  The  only  women 
I  ever  see  are  creatures  like  that.  (He  points  with 
disgust  at  DIANE,  who  turns  fron.  him  with  a  slight 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  35 

movement.  Squats  down  on  his  haunches  before 
BOUL.)  But 'do  you  think  I  gave  up  your  Bon  Dieu 
then  ?  No,  my  friend,  I  said :  "Monsieur,  le  Bon 
Dieu,  I'm  going  to  give  you  one  more  chance.  For 
the  third  and  last  time — and  then  if  you  can't  see  that 
there  is  such  a  one  as  Chico — Chico  can't  see  that 
there  is  such  a  one  as  You.  Good  sense,  eh  ?  So  for 
this  last  time  I  prayed — (Searches  for  a  word) — for 
an — an  experience ! 

BOUL.    A  what? 

CHICO.  Oh,  you  wouldn't  understand.  Nobody 
would  but  myself.  I  wanted  once  to  have  the  experi 
ence  of  feeling  like  a  fine  gentleman  and  riding  in  a 
taxicab. 

BOUL.    And  you  lit  another  candle  for  that  ? 

CHICO.  I  did — another  five  francs  gone  to  the 
devil ! 

BOUL.  (Amused)  But  I  would  have  driven  you 
for  nothing ! 

CHICO.  I  knew  you  couldn't  understand!  Listen 
— I  wanted  to  have  enough  money  once  in  my  life  to 
climb  into  a  taxi  and  say,  "Fellow,  make  the  grand 
tour.  Drive  me  first  to  the  Place  Concord ;  then  to 
the  Champs  Elysee ;  then  to  the  Arc  de  Triumph  ; 
then  home  to  48  Rue  Notre  Dame  de  Lorette  and 
perdition  take  the  expense !" 

BOUL.  (Counting  on  one  finger  at  a  time;  deeply 
impressed)  Fifteen  francs ! 

(Here  the  priest  enters  from  the  church  and  stands 
listening  with  a  smile.) 

CHICO.  Yes.  Your  Bon  Dieu  owes  me  fifteen 
francs.  You  must  admit,  Boul,  that's  a  lot  of  money 
to  spend  on  an  idea.  But  I  have  proved  to  myself 
the  Bon  Dieu  does  not  exist.  It  is  a  childish  idea 
made  for  the  sentimental  and  the  weaklings — that's 
why  I'm  an  atheist! 


36  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

CHEVILLON.  (Crossing  down  to  left  of  CHICO,) 
Come,  I  don't  think  you  really  are,  my  son ! 

RAT.  (Running  behind  taxi)  Look  out,  Chico, 
he'll  baptize  you ! 

CHEVILLON.  (Laughing)  Have  no  fear,  Chico. 
But  I  can  tell  you  what  you  are.  You're  a  fine  brave 
young  man,  and  an  old  priest  owes  his  life  to  you! 

CHICO.  (Eyeing  him  with  distaste,  yet  politely) 
Forgive  me,  Citizen.  Why  I  saved  you  I  don't  know. 
I  always  do  the  thing  I  don't  want  to  do.  Frankly, 
I  don't  like  priests.  (RAT  slowly  returns  from  be 
hind  taxi.) 

BOUL.    For  shame,  Chico. 

CHEVILLON.  But  then  neither  do  I — not  all  of  us 
— we  do  look  a  bit  like  old  crows — but  as  man  to 
man,  then,  you  must  see  I  am  under  obligation  to 
you.  I  want  to  do  something  for  you. 

CHICO.  (Haughtily)  I  want  nothing  in  this  world, 
Citizen.  I  am  an  atheist.  I  ask  for  nothing. 
( Crosses  left  of  priest.) 

BOUL.  (Rising  and  crossing  R.  of  priest)  Come 
now,  Chico,  you  mustn't  lie  to  a  priest.  It's  bad 
luck! 

CHICO.    It's  true.    I  want  nothing. 

BOUL.  Why,  you  just  told  us  what  you  wanted! 
(To  priest)  Why,  he  prayed  for  them,  Father.  He 
prayed  hard  for  three  things. 

CHEVILLON.  (Twinkling  with  amusement)  Ah! 
And  what  were  they  ? 

CHICO.     ( Treat  eningly)     Boul! 

BOUL.  (Hurriedly)  He  wanted  a  ride  in  a  taxi- 
cab  with  a  yellow-haired  wife  and  have  money 
enough  to  pay  for  it — the  money  to  be  earned  from 
the  hose ! 

CHEVILLON.     (Laughing)    The  what  ? 

BOUL.  (Dodging  CHICO,)  The  hose — the  hose — 
that  thing!  (He  points  to  it.)  He  wants  to  be  a 
street  washer ! 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  37 

CHEVILLON.  (Gaily)  Bravo!  I  can  do  one  of 
these  things.  The  hose  is  yours — take  it ;  you  are  ap 
pointed  street  washer! 

CHICO.  (Collapsing,  then  suspicious)  Wh-at! 
You  can  do  this? 

CHEVILLON.  (Who  has  been  writing  on  a  colored 
religious  card  which  he  has  taken  out  of  his  missal) 
It  is  done !  (BouL  crosses  back  and  sits  on  curb. 
RAT  sits.)  Take  this  card  to  the  Commissioner.  The 
hose  is  yours,  Chico,  and  the  obligation  is  somewhat 
paid !  (Producing  a  small  box  from  the  deep  pocket 
of  his  sontaine.)  Now,  I  am  going  to  ask  you  to 
keep  these  two  medals  of  St.  John  and  St.  Agnes  I 
bought  for  you. 

CHICO.    (Frowning)    Religious  medals? 

CHEVILLON.    I  know  it  hardly  pleases  an  atheist — 

CHICO.    You  are  right,  Citizen. 

CHEVILLON.  But  these  two  saints  will  protect  you 
from  danger.  Please  don't  refuse  them.  They  may 
remind  you  of  the  very  grateful  old  crow  you  saved. 
(BouL  and  the  RAT  go  up  near  taxi.  Priest  turns 
U.L.  BOUL  and  RAT  return  to  gutter.)  And  whether 
you  like  it  or  not,  I'm  going  to  pray  for  you.  (He 
turns.  CHICO  crosses  center  and  looks  at  priest.) 
The  Bon  Dieu  has  a  sense  of  humor  and  the  joke  is 
on  you,  Chico.  Au  revoir,  Citizen  Street  Washer. 
(He  zualks  down  the  lane  U.L.,  laughing  merrily.) 

CHICO.  (Walks  a  few  steps  after  him;  then  stands 
in  awe;  turns  slowly  and  stares  at  the  others  dumb 
struck.  Then  looks  at  the  card  in  his  hand.  Wildly) 
I'm  a  street  washer!  I  have  risen !  I  have  risen! 

BOUL.    Didn't  the  Bon  Dieu  do  that? 

CHICO.  (Suddenly  baring  his  teeth,  advances  tow 
ards  his  companions,  who  retreat  before  him)  Oh, 
yes,  you  would  say  that!  If  anything  good  happens 
— oh,  yes,  a  miracle  from  above.  Anything  bad  hap 
pens — oh,  no,  we  don't  mention  it.  We  throw  it  into 
the  sewer.  (But  they  are  wise  and  say  nothing. 


38  SEVENTH   HEAVEN 

CHICO  rubs  his  poll,  awed.)  Still,  it  was  strange.  A 
moment  ago  I  was  nothing !  Now  I  am  a  man  of  po 
sition  !  Mon  Dieu !  (He  has  opened  the  box,  hold 
ing  up  the  chain  with  the  two  medals.) 

BOUL.    Eh? 

CHICO.  It's  silver — real  silver!  (BouL  and  the 
RAT  rise  and  go  to  him.  He  turns  them  upside  down; 
a  queer  noise  comes  into  his  throat.)  Ah ! 

BOUL.    Eh?    What  is  it? 

CHICO.  (In  a  faint  whisper)  The  price  mark ! 
Look! 

BOUL.  Fifteen  francs !  (The  church  bell  rings 
once.  They  look  at  each  other  with  a  qualm  of  fear; 
then  peer  apprehensively  over  their  shoulders;  then 
at  each  other;  RAT  and  BOUL  cross  themselves  fer 
vently.)  Paid  the  debt !  Now  do  you  believe  ? 

CHICO.  No !  (Goes  u.R.J  A  coincidence  to  fool 
me!  Come,  we'll  go  into  the  Sock  and  celebrate! 
Come,  comrades 

RAT.     Drink !     That's  it !     (All  three  link  arms 
and  with  fine  gestures  walk  tozvard  the  Inn  singing: 
Drink  a  little  bit,  steal  with  care; 
Lie  right  out  of  it,  fight  and  dare. 
Love  with  your  soul  each  day  in  seven — 
And  you'll  earn  your  turn  in  Heaven!) 

BOUL.  Wait — we  can't  leave  her.  (He  breaks 
away  and  comes  D.R.  to  DIANE,  helping  her  to  her 
feet.)  Come  on,  Diane — drink  with  us — come  on ! 
(DIANE  obediently  rises,  crosses  U.K.  and  takes  a  step 
toward  them  when  CHICO<  bars  the  way.  BOUL  and 
RAT  exit  merrily  into  the  Inn.) 

(GoBiN  enters  from  cafe  and  crosses  left.) 

CHICO.  (u.R.J  No,  no!  You  understand,  Mad 
emoiselle,  now  that  I  am  a  street  washer — I 

couldn't (He  sees  GOBIN   and  leaves  DIANE. 

Joyously)     Ah,  Maximilian  Gobin!     (  GOBIN,  as  re~ 


SEVENTH   HEAVEN  39 

sponsive  as  a  turtle,  waddles  slowly  on  and  picks  up 
his  hose  U.L.  CHICO  follows  him  across  stage.)  I 
have  just  been  elevated  to  the  hose.  Look!  (Shows 
GOBIN  the  card.  DIANE  returns  to  gutter  and  sits.) 

GOBIN.  Er? — (Reads  the  card  and  unbends — with 
a  charming  smile  offers  a  finlike  paw  to  CHICO,) — 
Street  Washer !  Welcome,  Comrade  ! 

CHICO.    I  thank  you,  Comrade. 

GOBIN.     Good  evening,  Comrade. 

CHICO.  (Following  him  rear  left)  Good  evening, 
Comrade.  (He  stands  there  a  moment,  looking  after 
GOBIN,  bowing  low.  DIANE,  who  has  sat  still,  now, 
seeing  CHICO' s  knife  lying  in  gutter,  stares  at  it,  then 
her  hand  slowly  is  seen  to  reach  for  it  and  pick  it  up. 
CHICO  turns  and  starts  toward  cafe,  when  he  sees 
her.)  Hey !  What  the  devil  are  you  doing  there  ? 
(He  makes  a  dash  for  her  and  grabs  the  knife.) 

DIANE.     (Wildly)     No — no — don't  stop  me ! 

CHICO.  (Tearing  it  out  of  her  hands)  Let  go! 
(He  stands  away,  breathing  heavily,  staring  at  her 
as  she,  shaking  with  emotion,  collapses  in  the  gutter, 
her  head  on  the  bench.  CHICO  wipes  the  cold  sweat 
from  his  hands  and  neck.  He  speaks  in  a  hushed 
voice,  half  to  himself,  as  if  in  a  dream)  To  think 
that  you  meant  it !  It  is  a  thing  terrible  to  do  ! 

DIANE.  (Suddenly  on  her  feet)  Give  it  back  to 
me !  (She  tries  to  snatch  at  it  wildly.) 

CHICO.  (Turning  his  broad  back  to  her  as  he 
snaps  it  shut)  I  like  that!  With  my  knife!  What 
did  you  take  my  knife  for?  (He  pockets  it  and 
crosses  left.) 

DIANE.  (Savagely)  You  can't  prevent  me!  I'll 
go  to  the  Seine ! 

CHICO.  (Suddenly  raging  at  her)  Very  well, 
then,  go  to  the  Seine !  Jump  off  then !  Drown  your 
self  then !  Lie  in  the  Morgue  with  a  rope  around 
your  hair  then  !  What  the  devil  do  I  care  ?  Women 
like  you  sicken  me — I  spit  you  out !  (DIANE  stands 


40  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

motionless.  He  goes  towards  the  wine  shop.  Some 
thing  stays  him.  He  looks  back.  Realises  she  is 
beautiful.  Pity  wells  up  in  him.  Scratches  his  head.) 
You  know,  I'm  still  shaking  all  over.  (She  starts 
u.c.J  Where  are  you  going?  (DIANE  reaches  the 
barrel  U.K.  CHICO  takes  a  step  nearer  her.)  You 
know,  that's  a  thing  horrible  to  do ! 

DIANE.     (Savagely)    Leave  me  alone ! 

CHICO.  (Aflame  in  an  instant,  leaping  away) 
Snake  of  snakes,  I'm  not  keeping  you !  There's  the 
boulevard  to  the  river — it's  broad  enough.  You 
don't  think  it's  my  affair  what  you  do?  The  devil 
take  you !  (She  sits  on  keg.  He  stalks  off  to  the 
wine  shop.  Again  something  stays  him.  He  looks 
back  at  her.  Touched  to  the  core,  but  inwardly  pro 
testing,  he  speaks  in  an  odd,  neiv  voice,  a  mixture  of 
sympathy  and  authority)  Why  did  you  want  to 
4ake  your  life? 

DIANE.  (Without  moving,  as  if  to  herself)  I 
can't  go  on. 

CHICO.  (Crossing  to  her;  astonished)  You  mean 
— you  don't  like  what  you  are  ? 

DIANE.    (Shivering)     No — no ! 

CHICO.  (Nodding  with  a  frown)  Your  sister, 
eh — she's  cruel? 

DIANE.    (Half  to  herself)   It's  because  I'm  afraid! 

CHICO.  (Softly)  But  you  have  courage!  The 
idea  of  cutting  oneself  to  death — that  takes  courage! 
I  couldn't  do  it.  (He  trembles.) 

DIANE.  (Looking  at  him  for  the  first  time)  Oh, 
yes,  you  could,  if  you  saw  love  die  out  of  the  eyes 
of  the  only  one  who  loved  you ! 

CHICO.  (Clicking  his  tongue  in  sympathy)  Oh, 
that  was  it,  eh  ?  Your  lover  left  you,  eh  ? 

DIANE.     My  uncle.     Oh,  why  do  I  tell  you  this? 

CHICO.  Oh,  he  found  it  out — then — your  life — 
eh? 

DIANE.    Yes.    He  cast  us  off ! 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  41 

CHICO.  (Softly)     Tct,  tct,  tct !    Too  bad ! 

DIANE.  He  was  right. 

CHICO.  Who  can  say  ?    (Takes  a  step  left.) 

DIANE.  You  see — when  there's  no  hope,  it's  easy ! 

(An  organ  in  the  church  starts  playing  softly.) 

CHICO.  (Gently)  But  you  say  you  don't  like  this 
life. 

DIANE.    (Shivering)    No ! 

CHICO.  Well,  if  you  don't  like  it,  you're  not  bad. 
(He  is  up  by  taxicab.) 

DIANE.     (Looking  at  him;  after  a  pause)     Why? 

CHICO.  I  don't  know  why — (Looks  up) — but  I 
know.  (Looks  at  her.)  You  see,  when  you  say  you 
don't  like  it,  it  makes  all  the  difference.  I  am  a 
sewer  man,  as  near  nothing  a  man  can  be,  but  I  am 
not  nothing.  You  know,  I  have  noticed  that  I  am  a 
very  remarkable  fellow.  All  my  life  in  the  sewer  has 
never  made  me  feel  low.  Sometimes  I  feel  like  a 
king  for  no  reason  at  all.  (The  organ  music  stops. 
Pause.  He  sits  by  her  on  upturned  pail  left  there  by 
BOUL  just  right  of  her.)  What's  your  name? 

DIANE.    Diane. 

CHTCO.  That's  a  good  name.  (Cheerfully.)  My 
name  is  Chico.  It's  more  like  a  noise  than  a  name. 
You  see,  I  never  had  a  real  name  because  I  never 
had  a  father.  Ha !  Ha ! 

DIANE.  (Looking  at  him)  There's  no  one  you're 
afraid  of? 

CHICO.  No  one!  Some  day  you  stand  up  and 
fight  your  sjster.  She's  a  coward — like  all  snakes ! 
That  will  make  you  free !  Be  yourself  ! 

DIANE.     Myself — but  what  will  that  be — myself? 

CHICO.  A  fine,  brave,  good  girl !  You  know, 
I'm  getting  sorry  for  you !  (Rises,  goes  center  and 
speaks  suddenly)  Now,  there  I  go!  I  shall  have 
you  on  my  hands  if  I  don't  take  care. 


42  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

DIANE.     You  can  go — I'm  not  keeping  you! 

CHICO.  (Crosses  to  her,  wailing)  Oh,  I  didn't 
mean  that.  I  am  myself — Chico — and  your  friend, 
Mademoiselle!  (He  strikes  his  breast.) 

DIANE.    My  friend.     (She  rises.) 

CHICO.  (Turning  away)  I  know  I  shall  regret 
it,  but  I  can't  help  it.  I  cannot  let  you  feel  misery 
like  this.  (Here  goes  u.L.J 

DIANE.  (Trembling)  Please  don't  say  things  to 
me  you  don't  mean. 

CHICO.  But  I  do  mean  them — that's  the  worst 
of  it. 

(POLICE  enter  from  R.  with  group  of  women.  They 
stand  rear  in  roadway,  the  light  from  the  street 
lantern  shining  on  their  anxious  faces.  NANA 
is  among  them,  arms  folded,  proud  and  silent. 
These  police  are  dressed  in  regulation  uniform.) 

CHICO.  They  just  come  out  of  me — I  can't  stop 
them.  But  you're  a  good  girl — I  tell  you 

DIANE.  The  police — Nana!  (She  goes  up — 
CHICO  crosses  left.) 

SERGEANT.  (Coming  down  between  them  and 
opening  notebook)  What  are  you  doing  here? 

DIANE.     Nothing. 

SERGEANT.    What's  your  occupation? 

DIANE.     Seamstress. 

SERGEANT.    Where  do  you  work? 

DIANE.     I  have  no  work. 

SERGEANT.  (.Taking  her  arm)  Then  you'd  better 
come  along  with  us. 

CHICO.  (Running  up  between  them)  Wait — 
wait !  You  can't  arrest  her,  Jacques ! 

SERGEANT.     Why  not,  Chico? 

CHICO.    Because  she's  an  honest  woman. 

SERGEANT,     (Taking  her  arm  again  to  take  her 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  43 

off)     That  she  must  prove  at  the  court.     Come,  as 
we  are  in  a  hurry ! 

CHICO.     Wait ! 

SERGEANT.  Since  when  are  you  giving  orders, 
Sewer  Man? 

CHICO.  Sewer  Man!  Look!  (Shows  Priest's 
card.) 

SERGEANT.     Street  Washer,  eh? 

CHICO.     Yes — you  must  not  arrest  her. 

SERGEANT.  (Again  starting  to  her)  And  why 
not  ?  She  is  reported  thief — vagrant 

CHICO.  No — no — you  can't  arrest  her — because — 
because 

SERGEANT.     Well  ? 

CHICO.     Because  she's  my  wife ! 

SERGEANT.  Why  didn't  you  say  so  at  once  ?  (To 
others)  Come,  we've  lost  time. 

NANA.     He  lies — she  is  not  his  wife ! 

SERGEANT.  (Coming  down  slowly)  What's  that ! 
.(As  he  turns  to  look  at  DIANE)  Where  do  you  live? 

DIANE.     Why — why 

CHICO.    48  Rue  Notre  Dame  de  Lorette! 

SERGEANT.  Tomorrow  we  will  come  to  your 
house  to  see  if  you  speak  the  truth.  Get  along,  now. 
(They  have  to  unite  in  the  effort  to  drag  NANA 
away.) 

NANA.  You  can't  arrest  me !  I'm  a  f  riend^  of 
Brissac  !  He  will  protect  me ! 

SERGEANT.  Keep  quiet,  you!  (They  drag  her 
off  u.Lj 

CHICO.  (Staring  front)  Now,  why  did  I  do 
that?  Oh,  what  have  I  done?  Why  did  I  say  that? 
(Crosses  D.L.J 

DIANE.     (Softly  as  she  starts  u.L.J     Don't  worry.* 
I'll  go  away. 

CHICO.  But  you  can't.  (Going  U.R.  to  her.) 
They  will  look  up  the  books — find  no  records — then 
they'll  come  to  my  address  and  find  I  have  no  wife. 


44  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

Oh,  I  am  ruined !  I  shall  lose  the  hose !  The  hose ! 
Oh,  Mon  Dieu — what  have  I  done?  (Weeps  and 
tears  his  hair.)  I  shall  have  to  have  you  for  a  wife 
— what  a  catastrophe!  (Sits  on  barrel,  u.R.J 

DIANE.  (Goes  to  him;  steps  nearer,  timidly) 
Perhaps  you — could  let  me  stay  with  you  until  the 
police  came — to  prove  to  them  you  had  a  wife.  Then 
you  could  dismiss  me!  I  would  go  away  and  not 
trouble  you ! 

CHICO.  But  how  can  we  explain  our  marriage  is 
not  on  the  records? 

DIANE.  We  can  say  we  were — married  in  Italy — 
or  Belgium! 

CHICO.  (Rises;  suddenly  his  face  lights  to  the 
idea)  That's  an  idea,  that !  You  have  a  great  head ! 

DIANE.  (Her  heart  welling  up)  You  have  a 
great  heart.  (She  takes  his  hand  and  attempts  to 
kiss  it.) 

CHICO.  (Withdrawing  his  hand  hastily  and  wip 
ing  the  back  of  it  on  his  ribs)  Oh,  you  mustn't  do 
that! 

(BouL  enters,  slightly  drunk,  singing  drink  song, 
from  the  Cafe.     Goes  to  his  cab.) 

CHICO.  (Suddenly  assuming  a  commanding  atti 
tude)  Hey,  you!  Wind  up  Eloise! 

BOUL.     What  ? 

CHICO.     Wind  up  your  sewing  machine 

BOUL.     (In  front  of  cab)     Eh? 

CHICO.    Start  her  up,  son  of  night — make  her  go ! 

BOUL.     Go!    Optimist!     (Cranks.) 

ELOISE.  Bang!  (The  engine  starts  to  go  fran 
tically.) 

BOUL.  My  God — a  miracle!  Chico,  what  do  you 
mean? 

CHICO.  I  mean  you  are  to  drive  me  home — me 
and  my  bride! 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  45 

BOUL.     (Bursting  with  astonishment)     Bride! 

CHICO.  (Left,  to  DIANE,  and  getting  his  coat 
from  out  of  barrel  left)  Now  remember,  you 
mustn't  take  this  seriously — understand?  I  do  this 
for  a  reason!  You're  not  going  to  take  advantage 
of  me? 

DIANE.     No — oh,  no! 

CHICO.  (With  relief)  Good!  (Taking  DIANE 
by  the  hand  with  infinite  grace)  Allow  me  the  honor 
of  presenting  you  to  Madame  Chico,  my  good  wife ! 

BOUL.  (Getting  into  taxi  and  yelling)  Hurry  up 
before  she  stops!  (DIANE,  whose  eyes  are  blinded 
by  a  mist,  is  assisted  into  the  taxi  like  a  queen.) 

CHICO.  Now  make  the  grand  wedding  tour! 
First  the  Champs  Ely  see,  then  to  the  Place  de  la 
Concorde,  then  drive  to  the  Arc  de  Triumphe,  then 
home  to  forty-eight  Rue  Nortre  Dame  de  Lorette, 
and  perdition  take  the  expense ;  for  tonight  I  am  the 
Bank  of  France! 

(CHico  jumps  into  taxi  and  closes  door.  Both  sit 
bolt  upright  as  ELOISE  starts,  knocking  them  into 
their  seats,  then  stops  dead.  Starts  again  ^v^th 
a  violent  leap  and  detonation  and  slowly  and 
shakily  creeps  away,  leaving  the  Sock  empty. 
ARLETTE  enters  from  the  Inn  and  waves  to  the 
receding  taxi.) 

CURTAIN 


ACT    II 

(We  are  in  a  small  attic,  tucked  away  under  a  man 
sard  roof.  Through  a  skylight  we  have  an  in 
spiring  view  of  Heaven  above  and  chimney  pots 
here  below.  The  white  domes  of  the  Sacre 
Coeur  of  Montmartre  are  seen  rising  into  the 
distant  clouds. 

(All  CHIGOES  earthly  possessions  are  here — his  stove, 
his  frying  pan,  a  dilapidated  wire  bird  cage,  and 
his  colored  print  of  General  Marchand  of 
Fashoda  fame. 

(French  windows  at  rear  left  lead  to  the  roof  of  the 
next  house;  CHICO  can  walk  over  the  leaden 
roofs,  feed  the  pigeons  and  pass  the  time  of  day 
with  the  other  chimney-pot  dwellers.  Those 
who  work  in  sewers  live  as  near  the  stars  as 
they  can  afford.  It  is  a  glorious  August  morn 
ing.  Onion  soup  is  simmering  on  the  stove,  left. 

(When  the  curtain  rises,  ARLETTE  and  DIANE  are 
discovered.  DIANE  is  cooking  some  appetising 
dish  on  the  stove,  U.L.,  seasoning  and  tasting  it 
with  the  air  of  a  true  cook.  She  has  improvised 
a  dish  towel  into  an  apron.  ARLETTE,  birdlike, 
now  neatly  dressed,  is  prattling  volubly,  sitting 
on  the  table  swinging  her  legs.) 

ARLETTE.  (Eagerly)  And  then  where  did  you 
go? 

DIANE.  (Gaily)  'Way  over  to  the  Fete  Mont 
martre,  where  we  rode  on  pigs  and  shot  clay  rabbits 
— and  what  do  you  think — look — he  had  our  tintype 
taken  together!  (Produces  it  from  her  bosom  and 
shows  it  to  ARLETTE.) 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  47 

ARLETTE.    (Admiringly)    He's  beautiful,  isn't  he? 

DIANE.     (Laughing)    Yes ! 

ARLETTE.    Then  what  did  you  do  ? 

DIANE.  (Goes  R.  to  bureau)  Then  we  started 
for  home,  but  poor  Boul — his  taxi  Eloise  stopped  at 
Place  Clichy  and  would  take  us  no  further — so  we 
had  to  walk  home. 

ARLETTE.     All  the  way  here? 

DIANE.  (Nodding  and  crossing  right)  Yes,  and 
the  six  flights  up — into  this — "Seventh  Heaven."  It 
was  wonderful !  (She  goes  to  cupboard;  gets  dish 
and  plate  to  put  over  it  as  a  cover.) 

ARLETTE.  Won't  Nana  be  surprised  when  she 
hears  you're  married ! 

DIANE.  (Face  clouding  as  she  crosses  left  to 
stove)  Yes 

ARLETTE.     And  angry! 

DIANE.     Yes. 

ARLETTE.     Thank  God  they  have  her  locked  up! 

DIANE.    Arlette,  don't 

ARLETTE.  Don't — rubbish !  You  ought  to  be 
glad.  (Gets  off  table;  goes  u.c.)  You  don't  want 
her  following  you  here,  do  you? 

DIANE.  (With  a  shudder)  But  St.  Lazarre 
prison ! 

ARLETTE.  (Back  of  table  and  right  of  it)  Why, 
only  this  morning  Chico  said  so,  too ! 

DIANE.     (Eagerly)     Chico!    You  saw  him? 

ARLETTE.  (Laughing)  Saw  him!  Ha — every 
body  saw  him  this  morning  when  he  got  the  hose. 
He  nearly  drowned  the  Sewer  Rat!  Ha,  ha! 
(DIANE  has  poured  soup;  ARLETTE  crosses  right  af 
ter  napkin.) 

DIANE.     (Fro^vning)    Well,  he's  new  to  the  hose ! 

ARLETTE.  No — no — it  wasn't  that.  He  was 
showing  them  what  he  would  do  if  he  went  into  the 
war,  using  his  hose  for  a  gun!  (She  is  right  of 
table.  Laughs.)  t 


48  SEVENTH   HEAVEN 

DIANE.  (Pausing  a  moment  as  she  brings  the* 
saucepan  from  the  stove  to  the  table)  The  war 

ARLETTE.  (Crossing  down  front  R.  of  table) 
Yes.  They're  still  talking  about  it. 

DIANE.  (Pouring  contents  of  the  saucepan  into 
the  dish)  Arlette,  there  won't  be  any  war. 

ARLETTE.  (Scornfully)  That's  what  I  say. 
Every  year  the  men  talk  like  that — as  if  they  knew ! 
(Taking  spoon  and  tasting  soup.) 

DIANE.  (Carelessly)  Oh,  they  don't.  (Enter 
GOBIN  through  the  French  window  L.  He  is  quite 
melloiv  compared  to  when  last  we  saw  him.) 

GOBIN.     Good  morning,  Madame  Chico. 

DIANE.  Good  morning,  Monsieur  Gobin.  How 
is  your  wife  now? 

GOBIN.  Splendid.  (Turning  to  ARLETTE.)  But 
what  is  the  matter  with  you,  Arlette?  Is  this  what 
you  call  visiting  my  wife?  I  send  you  over  for  food 
twenty  minutes  ago  and  here  you  stand  chattering 
like  a  sparrow. 

ARLETTE.     (Peevishly)    But  it  wasn't  ready ! 

DIANE.  Forgive  her !  It's  my  fault — it's  just  this 
minute  done.  I'll  have  the  onion  soup  ready  for  you 
in  half  an  hour.  (Goes  to  stove  and  puts  salt  and 
pepper  in  soup.) 

GOBIN.  Good — and  I  won't  send  this  little  magpie 
— I'll  come  for  it  myself.  You're  very  good  to  us, 
Mme.  Chico.  My  wife  is  much  better  now,  thanks 
to  your  cooking !  (ARLETTE  crosses  up  right  of  GO- 
BIN.) 

DIANE.     Will  there  be  a  war,  Monsieur  Gobin? 

GOBIN.  (For  a  moment  face  grave ;  then  throws 
it  off)  Certainly  not !  Er — nations  are  too  civilized 
for  war  these  days. 

DIANE.  That's  what  I  tell  Arlette!  (Hands  her 
the  covered  dish.) 

GOBIN.     (Turning  to  ARLETTE)     So  that's  what 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  49 

you've  been  chirping  about,  eh?  Well,  no  word  of 
war  to  my  wife  or  I'll  murder  you ! 

ARLETTE.  Of  course  not.  I  know  enough  for 
that. 

GOBIN.  Well,  you  don't  know  enough  to  get  out 
of  here !  We  mustn't  leave  her  alone  for  a  moment 
now.  (ARLETTE  goes  up  a  step.) 

DIANE.     Has  the  doctor  come? 

GOBIN.  No,  but  he'll  be  here  by  noon.  We  ex 
pect  our  boy  before  evening  comes.  (He  exits  u.c. 
through  windows.) 

ARLETTE.  Ha,  ha !  He's  so  sure  it  will  be  a  boy, 
Diane.  You  know,  it  might  be  two  girls ! 

GOBIN.     (Off-stage)     Come,  come,  Arlette. 

(ARLETTE  exits  over  roofs.  DIANE  is  left  alone. 
Looking  about  the  room,  she  takes  CHIGOES 
jacket  from  rack  D.LV  and  humming  the  "Sev 
enth  Heaven"  song,  crosses  to  table  center,  fills 
CHICO'S  pipe;  then  gets  her  sewing  things  in  an 
old  cigar  box  R.  and  sits  by  the  table  and  sews 
for  a  while.  Then  with  infinite  tenderness  puts 
the  jacket  to  her  cheek.  A  pause.  There  is  a 
peremptory  knock  at  the  door.) 

DIANE.  (Springing  to  feet  in  fear)  Who  is 
there  ?  ( The  knock  is  repeated  louder.  She  steadies 
herself;  then  runs  to  door.)  Who  are  you?  What 
do  you  want?  (Another  knock.)  Are  you  the  po 
lice"? 

BOUL.     No!     Tis  I—Boul! 

(DIANE  op-ens  the  door.     BOUL  enters.) 

DIANE.     Boul-— welcome ! 

BOUL.  (Hugging  her)  Hello!  Well,  where's 
Chico? 


50  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

(Boui/s  white  enamelled  hat  is  over  one  eye;  his  red 
waistcoat  buttoned  by  one  solitary  top  button, 
causing  his  waistcoat  to  spread  wide  open, 
showing  an  inverted  V-shaped  expanse  of  tum 
my  covered  with  a  none  too  clean  shirt.  A 
handsome  new  gold  chain  with  a  dazzling, 
jewelled  watchcharm  is  draped  across  this  bay 
of  content.) 

DIANE.     He's  not  here. 

BOUL.     (Astonished)     Not  here? 

DIANE.     No. 

BOUL.  Why,  he  said  he'd  cut  my  head  off  if  I 
wasn't  here  with  Eloise  at  ten  o'clock  sharp !  (With 
great  show  and  conscious  pride  he  consults  his  new 
watch — an  enormous  turnip.)  He  said  it  was  very 
important.  What  does  he  want  of  me? 

DIANE.  (Puzzled)  I  don't  know.  (She  goes 
right  to  cupboard  for  bottle  of  wine.)  It's  good  to 
see  you  here,  Boul. 

BOUL.  (Looking  up  through  the  skylight)  That's 
a  fine  view  of  Heaven — that ! 

DIANE.  (Placing  bottle  of  wine  and  glass  on  the 
table,  as  she  pauses  to  look  about  the  room)  It  is 
Heaven !  (Crossing  to  table,  back  of  it.) 

BOUL.  (Sitting  at  left  of  table — as  he  pours  drink) 
Happy?  (DIANE  smiles.  She  sits  right  of  table, 
takes  coat  and  works  on  it.)  So  Chico  didn't  have 
to  wait  so  long  for  a  wife,  eh,  Madame  Chico?  This 
comes  of  burning  a  candle  to  St.  Antoine.  Ha,  Ste. 
Antoine  is  the  best  fellow  among  the  saints.  No 
nonsense  about  him.  He  was  a  bit  of  a  bad  boy 
himself  in  his  youth !  Ah,  yes,  we  sinners  make  the 
best  saints!  (Takes  a  small  drink,  then  suddenly 
frowns  in  thought.)  Why  did  you  think  I  was  the 
police  ? 

DIANE.    We  are  expecting  the  police ! 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  51 

(Easily,  but  without  undue  haste,  BOUL  removes  the 
gold  watch,  chain  and  charm  from  his  waistcoat 
and  transfers  it  to  an  unseen  trouser  pocket. 
Then  speaks  in  a  surprised  voice.) 

BOUL.     Expecting  the  police? 

DIANE.  I  am  staying  here  to  prove  to  them,  when 
they  come,  that  Chico  has  a  wife  so  that  he  won't 
lose  the  hose. 

BOUL.      (Relieved)     Oh ! 

DIANE.  They  said  they  were  coming  here  the 
next  morning,  but  as  yet  we  haven't  seen  the  police. 

BOUL.  I  shouldn't  let  that  worry  you.  (Takes 
out  pipe;  looks  at  her,  speaking  in  low  voice)  Has 
Nana  been  here? 

DIANE.     (Face  falling)     Nana?    No. 

BOUL.    That's  good. 

DIANE.     (Chilled)     Why,  she's  at  St.  Lazarre. 

BOUL.     No!     She's  out! 

DIANE.     Out ! 

BOUL.  Yes — that  Brissac  got  her  out  next  morn 
ing,  worse  luck ! 

DIANE.  (Rising,  goes  to  door  left,  closing  it) 
Nana — out ! 

BOUL.  (Nodding)  I  wouldn't  have  told  you,  but 
I  thought  it  was  best  to  warn  you.  She  tried  to  get 
me  to  come  here  yesterday  to  tell  you  she  wanted 
you  back.  Today  again  she  said  to  me :  "Give  her 
fair  warning — if  she  doesn't  come  I'll  go  and  get 
her!" 

DIANE.  Three  days  of  Heaven — I  knew  it 
couldn't  last. 

BOUL.  You're  frightened  of  Nana.  I  can't  blame 
you,  though.  She's  a  tigress.  You  know  I  couldn't 
pull  her  off  you  that  day  ? 

DIANE.  (Crossing  to  him)  Oh,  Boul,  what  can 
I  do? 


52  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

BOUL.    Tell  your  husband — he'll  know  what 

DIANE.     (Simply)     But  I  have  no  husband! 

BOUL.  (Rising  and  going  to  her)  Eh?  But 
you're  Chico's  wife ! 

DIANE.     That's  just  it — I'm  not! 

BOUL.  What's  this?  But  I  thought  you  were 
married  the  day  after  I  brought  you  here — two  days 
ago? 

DIANE.  No.  I've  told  the  others  that  we  were 
married  to  protect  Chico.  After  the  police  come  I 
have  no  real  excuse  for  staying. 

BOUL.  (After  a  moment,  crosses  D.R.  of  table) 
Oh,  well,  but  he  intends  to  marry  you.  He  wouldn't 
let  you  go. 

DIANE.  I  know  he  wouldn't  tell  me  to  go — he 
couldn't,  he's  so — so — I  don't  want  to  go !  But  I 
know  I  oughtn't  to  stay  on  here  and  take  advantage 
of  him.  (She  crosses  down  to  BOUL.) 

BOUL.  (Bursting)  What  infernal  nonsense  is  all 
this?  (He  crosses  to  her.)  Hasn't  he  been  living 
here  with  you  for  three  days  ? 

DIANE.     (Shaking  her  head)     No! 

BOUL.     What? 

DIANE.  He  comes  here  for  his  meals — but  at 
night — I — I  am  alone. 

BOUL.     Alone  ? 

DIANE.    At  night  he  sleeps  at  Monsieur  Chariot's. 

BOUL.  (In  extreme  disgust)  I  never  heard  of 
such  a  thing!  But  what  can  you  expect  from  an 
atheist !  This  comes  of  not  having  a  good  Christian 
education.  (Sits  right  of  table.)  I'll  speak  to  him. 

DIANE.  Don't — don't,  please.  The  truth  is  he 
does  not  love  me.  (She  is  back  of  table.) 

BOUL.     Oh,  pouff ! 

DIANE.  Yes,  he  said  he  knew  I'd  be  on  his  hands. 
You  know,  he  says  he  always  does  the  thing  he 
doesn't  want  to  do. 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  53 

BOUL.  (Rubs  his  chin)  That's  right — that's 
Chico. 

DIANE.  (^D.R.  of  him)  Monsieur  Gobin  thinks 
he  can  get  me  his  wife's  old  place  in  the  silk  factory 
at  Lyons. 

BOUL.     Gobin — (Turns  to  her) — that  snob? 

DIANE.  Oh,  but  he's  changed.  Even  Chico  says 
so — and  his  wife  and  I  are  friends.  Look !  They 
live  over  there — across  the  roof  from  us.  (She 
crosses  u.  to  ivindow.)  She's  ill — I'm  making  this 
soup  for  her.  (He  rises  and  turns  up  right  of  her. 
DIANE  continues  in  an  awed  voice,  as  she  looks 
through  window  across)  It  must  be  very  wonder 
ful !  . 

BOUL.  (With  a  start  and  a  step  toward  her)  Eh, 
what? 

DIANE.  To  be  married — to  be  safe — to  be  loved. 
(A  pause.)  She's  going  to  have  a  baby  very  soon 
now. 

BOUL.  (Stepping  up  behind  her  and  placing  his 
hands  gently  on  her  arms — moved)  Cheer  up,  my 
kitten — everybody  can't  be  lucky.  (A  pause.)  You 
love  Chico? 

DIANE.  (Nodding  her  head  and  burying  her  face 
in  his  shoulder)  Yes. 

BOUL.  (Patting  her)  I  can't  understand  why  the 
idiot  doesn't  gobble  you  up.  ( Crosses  D.R.J  I  have 
it!  We  must  burn  a  candle  to  St.  Antoine. 

DIANE.  (Going  to  him  D.R.J  Oh,  Boul,  do  you 
really  believe  that  would  help? 

BOUL.  Help?  Help?  Of  course  it  would  help. 
He  never  failed  to  help  me  in  all  my  love  affairs — 
that's  why  he's  my  favorite  saint.  Diane,  you  stay 

right  here (Crosses  left  toward  door.  Sound 

of  whistling  heard  coming  up  the  stairs.) 

DIANE.     (Joyfully)    There  he  is. 

BOUL.  (Crossing  right)  Now  you  watch  me 
bring  him  to  his  senses.  I'll  tell  him  a  thing  or  two. 


54  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

(  DIANE  tidies  her  hair  and  apron,  then  runs  and 
opens  the  door.) 

CHICO.  (Enters  gaily  with  a  big  box.  He  is 
dressed  in  a  new  suit  of  pantaloons  and  a  clean  shirt. 
A  white  rose  behind  his  ear.  He  crosses  right  to 
table;  ignores  DIANE  as  he  sees  BOUL)  Hello !  Ah, 
Papa  Boul.  (Throws  box  on  upper  end  of  table.) 

BOUL.  Papa  Boul — bah!  (Pointing  to  DIANE) 
Are  you  a  cow  or  a  sheep  that  Papa  Boul  must  show 
you  what  a  jewel  you  have? 

CHICO.     Hey — stop  it! 

BOUL.  Wake  up,  you  idiot,  you!  (He  sputters 
for  a  word,  shaking  his  fist  in  CHICO'S  face.) 

CHICO.  (Threateningly)  Be  quiet  or  I'll  chew 
you  up  and  spit  you  out ! 

BOUL.     You  will? 

CHICO.     Yes. 

BOUL.  (Sits.  CHICO  goes  above  table)  Then 
what  did  you  want  me  and  Eloise  at  ten  o'clock  for? 
(  DIANE  is  at  stove  and  working  over  soup.) 

CHICO.  I  wanted  you  both  for  a  very  important 
event,  but  I  find  now  you  will  not  be  needed  till 
eleven!  (Takes  string  from  bundle.) 

BOUL.     Nearly  another  hour — what 

CHICO.  You  see,  I  didn't  know  I  had  to  have  a 
name.  I  had  great  difficulty  trying  to  prove  to  those 
fools  at  the  Bureau  that  I  was  born.  Because  I 
wasn't  on  their  records,  they  said  there  was  no  such 
person  as  me.  I  said  there  must  have  been  a  me — 
for  here  I  am ! 

BOUL.     What  did  you  do? 

CHICO.  Do?  I  made  them  believe  I  was  alive 
before  I  was  through  with  them.  It  took  every 
body  they  had  in  the  office  and  it  wasn't  till  I  was 
thrown  out  for  the  third  time  that  they  were  forced 
to  admit  I  was  alive — and  to  get  rid  of  me  they 
gave  me  the  paper  that  says  I  am  born  and  at  eleven 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  55 

we  are  to  be  married!      (BouL   rises,  astonished.) 

DIANE.  (Running  down — in  a  low  voice)  Mar 
ried! 

CHICO.  So  will  you  come  back  in  time  to  get  us 
there  at  eleven?  That  is,  if  you  think  Eloise  is  well 
enough  to  stand  such  excitement? 

BOUL.  (Running  to  DIANE)  Bravo !  There's 
good  sense  now!  What  did  I  tell  you,  my  kitten? 
He's  not  such  a  fool  as  he  looks !  (Men  exchange 
glances;  CHICO  takes  a  step  down.)  Of  course, 
Eloise  and  I  will  carry  you  to  your  happiness !  And 
as  for  a  wedding  gift  for  the  bridegroom — please  ac 
cept  this  genuine  gold  watch  and  chain !  (Removes 
his  watch  and  chain  and  hands  it  to  CHICO.) 

CHICO.  (Protesting  politely)  But,  Boul,  I  couldn't 
think  of  accepting  so  valuable  a  present! 

BOUL.  (Airily)  Keep  it!  It  cost  me  nothing! 
(Crosses  left.)  And  as  for  a  present  for  Madame — 
I  think  I  know  where  I  can  put  my  ringers  on  some 
thing  very,  very  nice.  (Opens  door.) 

CHICO.  (Stepping  left,  laughing)  Stay  and  drink 
with  us. 

BOUL.  No — no — I  must  shave — put  on  a  clean 
shirt  and  light  a  candle  to  St.  Antoine  for  Health — 
(He  is  now  in  doorway) — Happiness  and  a  large 
family  to  Monsieur  and  Madame  Chico !  (Exits 
with  a  flourish.)  Au  revoir,  my  children!  Au  re- 
voir ! 

CHICO.  (Crossing  L.  to  door  and  calling  after 
him)  Au  revoir,  Friend  Boul — a  good  friend,  eh? 
(Closes  door  and  crosses  D.R.  of  table.  A  pause.  He 
turns — they  are  alone.  She  stands  still  with  bowed 
head.  He  is  embarrassed.)  You — you  don't  say 
anything?  (She  goes  to  him,  looks  up  at  him,  but 
docs  not  speak.  He  opens  bundle  on  the  table; 
claps  his  hands  together.)  Look — your  wedding 
clothes!  '(Without  a  word,  DIANE  attempts  to  kneel 
at  his  feet.)  No — no — you  mustn't  do  those  things ! 


56  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

(He  turns  right,  throwing  the  rose  from  behind  his 
ear  to  the  table.)  Here!  (Takes  off  smock  and 
throws  it  over  chair.) 

DIANE.  You  give  me  everything !  I  have  nothing 
to  give  you — nothing! 

CHICO.     Don't  say  that. 

DIANE.    Do  you  really  want  to  marry  me? 

CHICO.  (With  a  shrug  as  he  lights  his  pipe) 
Ye-es ! 

DIANE.     Why? 

CHICO.     I  don't  know. 

DIANE.     You  don't  have  to. 

CHICO.  (Sitting  R.  of  table.  Grimly)  I  know 
that. 

DIANE.     You're  so  strange — unlike  anyone! 

CHICO.  That's  true — there's  nobody  like  me — I'm 
a  very  remarkable  fellow.  (Laughs  to  himself.) 

DIANE.  Oh,  yes!  But  I  don't  understand — you 
say  you'll  marry  me — but  you — don't 

CHICO.    Well? 

DIANE.    Won't  you  say  something? 

CHICO.     (Rising)     Say  something What? 

DIANE.  Just  one  word  of — of  love — to  tell  me 
you  are  not  marrying  me  out  of  pity ! 

CHICO.  (Frowning)  You  mean  you  want  me  to 
make  love  to  you?  (DIANE  nods.  Laughs  sheep 
ishly  as  he  rubs  his  poll — for  a  moment  gathers  him 
self  to  make  a  try.  Then  looks  foolish.)  I  feel  like 
an  idiot  to  talk  like  that !  (Crosses  extreme  right. 
Then  reluctantly)  I'll  do  it  just  this  once — no  more. 
(Sternly)  Come  here !  (She  crosses  to  him.) 
You're,  er,  you  know (He  bursts  into  an  em 
barrassed  laugh,  then  sobers  and  continues)  I — you 
— you  and  I  did  not  exist  until  we  met.  Now  we 
are  one  destiny! 

DIANE.     Are  we? 

CHICO.  (Laughing,  embarrassed — a  pause — then 
gently)  You  see,  it's  nothing  but  arithmetic. 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  57 

DIANE.     Arithmetic  ? 

CHICO.  Of  course.  You  see,  you  and  I  are  one — 
so  one  and  one  make  one — you  understand? 

DIANE.  No — no !  (Sits  left  of  table;  tears  choke 
her.  She  puts  her  closed  fists  to  her  eyes.) 

CHICO.  Mon  Dieu !  You  ask  me  to  make  love 
and  nozv  look  at  you !  (She  laughs,  drying  her  eyes 
hastily.)  Well,  this  way,  then — (Placing  a  finger  on 
his  heart  and  then  gestures  to  her) — Chico — Diane — 
(Looks  around,  opening  his  hand  to  the  room) — 
Heaven ! 

DIANE.    (Softly;  eyes  closed)     Say  it  again! 

CHICO.  (Pleased  with  himself)  Chico — Diane — 
Heaven !  (Short  pause.) 

DIANE.     Say  it  again  ! 

CHICO.  Chic (Crosses  back  of  table  to  left 

and  shouts  at  her)  Hey,  stop  that!  What  do  you 
want,  you?  (Laughs  and  pours  out  a  stiff  drink  of 
cognac  from  the  bottle  BOUL  left  on  table.) 

DIANE.  (Half  to  herself,  hands  on  heart)  Yes. 
It  is  the  truth — and  if  there  is  a  Bon  Dieu — you  are 
he! 

CHICO.  (Looking  into  the  glass,  as  he  holds  it 
up)  Perhaps  you  are  right.  (Drinks,  puts  glass  on 
table.)  I  know  I'm  a  very  remarkable  fellow. 

DIANE.  (Looking  at  him,  deeply  moved)  Oh, 
yes. 

CHICO.  (Down  L.  of  table)  You've  noticed  that, 
too? 

DIANE.     Oh,  yes ! 

CHICO.  It's  wonderful  the  things  I  feel — the 
thoughts  I  think — I — I — why,  sometimes  I  could 

reach  out  and  touch  a  star — and (Suddenly 

sniffs.)  What's  that  I  smell?  (Goes  to  stove.) 
Onion  soup?  (Squaring  on  her  suspiciously;  taking 
spoon  from  wall.)  Some  more  of  your  good  cook 
ing,  eh  ?  You're  trying  to  bewitch  me  that  way  ?  Eh  ? 
Listen — if  you  think  it  necessary  to  reach  Chico's 


58  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

heart  through  his  stomach,  I  can  tell  you 

(Sniffs  and  goes  back  U.L.  to  stove.)  Let's  have 
some  of  it  now !  (He  removes  cover.) 

DIANE.     No — that  soup  is  for  Madame  Gobin. 

CHICO.  Oh,  well,  since  I've  got  to  live  the  rest  of 
my  days  with  you,  it's  some  comfort  to  know  you're 
a  good  cook.  (Goes  back  to  table.)  And  another 
thing,  young  lady,  you're  not  going  to  marry  a  poor 
man.  See  that — month  in  advance!  (Produces 
handful  of  coins  from  his  pocket  and  crosses  to 
table.)  We  shall  have  a  picnic  tonight  after  the 
wedding  in  the  "Bois"  that  will  live  in  history.  I've 
invited  all  the  hose  and  the  whole  sewer !  (She  has 
taken  the  jacket  from  back  of  chair  and  resumed 
sewing.) 

DIANE.  Madame  Chico !  I'm  going  to  be  some 
thing  at  last ! 

CHICO.  (Coming  L.  front  of  table)  To  be  my 
wife  is  something ! 

DIANE,  (Rising)  Here — I've  finished  your  jac 
ket! 

CHICO.  (Taking  it — their  hands  meet  in  tender 
ness  for  a  moment.  Then  he  examines  the  jacket; 
speaks  in  surprised  and  gentle  voice)  Why,  you 
have  mended  it.  (She  takes  the  coat  and  puts  it  on 
back  of  chair  right  of  table.  CHICO  follows  her 
right  of  table  until  she  is  half  across  L.  They  look 
at  each  other,  smiling.  Soup  pot  boils  and  DIANE 
crosses  to  stove ;  CHICO  looks  at  her  steadily;  then 
picks  up  pipe,  lights  it,  quietly  regarding  her.  Sighs.) 
I  am  content. 

DIANE.     Are  you? 

CHICO.  (  Smokes,  smiles,  nods,  then  laughs  out 
right)  Ha,  ha!  Who  would  have  thought  three 
days  ago  when  I  was  in  the  sewer  that  I  would  have 
the  hose,  a  wife  and  money  enough  to  pay  for  taxi- 
cabs  for  all  our  wedding  guests !  Boul  says  it's  be- 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  59 

cause  I  lit  those  three  candles  to  the  Bon  Dieu.  As 
if  fifteen  francs'  worth  of  candles — ha,  ha! 

DIANE.  (Crossing  down  L.  of  table)  It  must 
have  been  some  Bon  Dieu  that  brought  you  to  me ! 

CHICO.  Pooh !  Don't  you  bother  your  head  about 
such  big  thoughts.  Leave  them  to  me. 

DIANE.  (Sitting  left  of  table,  darning  socks)  I 
will. 

CHICO.  It's  all  simple  enough.  It's  what  you  put 
inside  of  you — the  Idea — that  makes  you  what  you 
are. 

DIANE.     The  idea? 

CHICO.  (Nods)  That's  my  religion.  Put  fear 
and  trouble  inside  of  you — it's  just  as  if  you  put 
garlic  and  vanilla  parfait  into  your  stomach.  The 
result  is  the  same — bellyache.  (He  rises  and  struts 
around.)  Look  at  Maximilian  Gobin — it's  easy  to 
see  the  idea  he  has  put  inside  of  him.  (Puts  pipe  on 

table.)  The  idea (Imitating  GOBIN'S  walk  and 

curling  imaginary  mustachios.)  Maximilian  Gobin 
— you  are  only  you — while  /  am  Maximilian  Gobin ! 
No  one  can  hide  his  idea.  (To  DIANE)  Yours  is 
fear.  The  very  name  of  Nana  frightens  you. 
( DIANE  shudders.  CHICO  squats  down  on  his 
/munches.)  That  mustn't  be.  You  must  put  the  idea 
"courage"  inside  of  you. 

DIANE.  Inside  of  me?  You  think  you  can  eat 
courage  with  a  spoon? 

CHICO.  Child,  it's  so  simple  everyone  laughs  and 
calls  it  foolish!  Listen  to  me!  You  get  the  idea 
you  want — like  the  word  "courage" — (Strikes  his 
forehead) — and  like  a  bulldog  you  hang  on  and 
never,  never  let  go !  Oh,  it  isn't  easy.  (Rising  and 
going  back  of  table  to  R.j  You  will  get  bumps  and 
blows  but  hang  on  to  "courage"  and  bye-and-bye 
sure  enough  you  will  astonish  yourself !  You  will 
be  that  word.  You  will  be  courageous.  That's  why 
I  am  a  remarkable  fellow  and  astonish  myself  with 


60  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

what  I  am — because  I  know  I  can  make  what  I  am. 
That's  why  I  am  an  atheist.  (He  has  crossed  above 
table  to  right  and  speaks  with  finality.)  That's  why 
I  know  there  is  no  Bon  Dieu.  (Sits  in  chair  R.  of 
table — then  suddenly  winces  and  cries  out  in  pain  as 

he  rises.)  Ouch!  What  the  devil •  (He  has 

leaned  heavily  against  the  coat  on  the  back  of  the 
chair.  Something  lias  hurt  him.  He  takes  up  the 
coat  and  out  of  the  right  pocket  produces  the  little 
~box  of  twin  medals.)  Snake  of  snakes! 

DIANE.     What's  the  matter? 

CHICO.  (Frowning  as  he  opens  the  box  and  takes 
out  the  two  medals)  The  priest's  medals — that's 
queer ! 

DIANE.     What  does  it  mean  ? 

CHICO.  (Squaring  his  shoulders)  Nothing !  Al 
ways  these  coincidences  to  frighten  me !  But  I  won't 
be  fooled !  (Drops  the  box  and  medals  on  the  table.) 
I  am  myself — Chico — I  march  alone ! 

(GoBiN  appears  at  the  window  to  the  roof  and,  open 
ing  it,  enters  with  a  pale  face — he  smiles  with 
difficulty.) 

GOBIN.  Ah,  Comrade  Chico — good  morning.  Is 
the  soup  ready,  Madame  Chico? 

DIANE.  (With  cry  of  dismay)  Monsieur  Gobin, 
forgive  me.  I  forgot  all  about  it !  (Runs  to  the 
stove — pours  soup  into  the  bowl.) 

GOBIN.  Madame  will  take  it  over  to  her?  My 
wife  would  love  to  see  you !  (He  is  D.L .) 

DIANE.  (Crossing  down  to  table)  This  very 
minute !  (Showing  clothes.)  Look !  See  what 
Chico  brought  for  me ! 

GOBIN.     Wonderful ! 

DIANE.  I'll  show  them  to  Madame  Gobin.  I'll 
put  them  on  for  her.  It  will  cheer  her. 

GOBIN.     Do!     It  will  please  her  so,  eh?     (She 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  61 

nods  and  laughs,  holding  the  soup  bowl  in  one  liand 
and  the  box  of  clothes  under  the  other.  CHICO  has 
gone  to  the  windoiv  and  holds  it  open  for  her.  They 
stand  and  look  at  each  other.  She  is  a  step  or  two 
above  him.  GOBIN  crosses  D.L.J 

CHICO.  (Reaching  for  bundles)  I'll  carry  these 
across  the  roofs  for  you. 

DIANE.    No — no.    I  can  do  it.    (Starts  out.) 

CHICO.     But  it's  none  too  safe. 

DIANE.     I'm  not  afraid. 

CHICO.    Oh!     Brave  now,  eh? 

DIANE.     (Quietly)     I  shall  never  be  afraid  again ! 

CHICO.  That's  the  idea— that !  (As  he  helps  her 
gain  a  better  hold  on  the  bowl)  You  know  some 
thing  ? 

DIANE.     What? 

CHICO.    You  are  a  very  sweet  morsel ! 

DIANE.     Oh ! 

CHICO.  Yes.  And — and — and  it's  wonderful  the 
way  you've  stitched  my  coat.  It's  a — a — better  than 
new,  isn't  it? 

DIANE.     Is  it? 

CHICO.  (Sniffing  at  the  dish  she  holds  under  his 
nose)  And — and  your  cooking!  Tct!  Tct!  You 
know — I — I  didn't  know  it — but  a  man  isn't  com 
plete  without  a  wife.  (Awed.)  My  wife ! 

DIANE.     (In  the  window,  dreamily)     Say  it  again ! 

CHICO.     My  wife! 

DIANE.    Say  it  again ! 

CHICO.  My (Waking,  shouts)  Here — stop 

that!  Get  along,  you!  Out  about  your  business! 
Shoo!  (With  a  laugh  DIANE  crosses  the  roof  and 
out  of  sight.  CHICO  watches  her  for  a  moment, 
smiling.) 

CHICO.  (Turning  with  a  chuckle  and  crossing 
D.R.  and  striking  match  to  light  pipe)  I  am  a  happy 
man  today,  Comrade.  ( GOBIN  goes  U.K.  to  window, 


62  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

not  heeding  CHICO,  pushing  the  window  open  far 
ther.  He  speaks  in  a  chilled  voice.) 

GOBIN.  Chico (Cnico  does  not  hear  him. 

He  is  relighting  pipe.)  Chico! 

CHICO.     Huh? 

GOBIN.     I'm  afraid  it's  come. 

CHICO.  What?  (Puts  down  pipe;  crosses  up  be 
hind  GOBIN.) 

GOBIN.  You  can  see  the  crowds  from  here,  too. 
Look! 

CHICO.  (Looking  over  GOBIN'S  shoulder,  sober 
ing;  turning  D.R.J  It  can't  be  true. 

GOBIN.  (Crossing  D.L.J  I've  said  nothing  to  the 
women. 

CHICO.  (Quickly ;  coming  down  L.,  right  of  GO- 
BIN)  That's  right. 

GOBIN.     But  without  England  we're  lost. 

CHICO.  But  I  hate  war!  It  spoils  everything — 
it's  so  uncornfortable.  (Crosses  right.) 

GOBIN.    Don't  think  of  yourself  now. 

CHICO.  (Crossing  over  to  GOBIN^)  But  I  do  think 
of  myself.  I  don't  like  bullets,  blood  and  pain.  I'm 
such  a  coward.  (Sits  left  of  table.) 

GOBIN.    Coward ! 

CHICO.  (Rising  and  crossing  right)  Yes.  I'm 
afraid  I'll  slash  in  and  murder  a  thousand  men!  I 
always  do  the  thing  I  don't  want  to  do.  It's  terrible 
when  you're  so  frightened  to  be  as  brave  as  I  am! 
Perhaps  they  won't  call  us. 

GOBIN.  They  may — and  if  they  do  our  regiment 
is  on  the  first  list.  Our  captain  said  I  would  be  Ser 
geant.  And  if  the  call  comes,  we  of  the  Twenty-first 
Genie  would  have  to  mobolize  within  the  hour  at  the 
Gare  du  Nord.  You  received/ your  notice! 

CHICO.     (Feeling  pocket)    Yes— but  it  mustn't  be. 

GOBIN.  I'll  go  to  the  office  and  get  the  news. 
(Crosses  to  door.) 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  63 

CHICO.  (Going  near  him)  You  know,  I'm  think 
ing  of  Diane. 

GOBIN.  (Sternly)  If  it  comes  to  that,  I'll  leave 
my  wife — and — and  my 

CHICO.  (Going  and  gripping  GOBIN'S  hand) 
Pardon,  Comrade.  ( CHICO  takes  a  step  u.c.  After 
a  second  a  knock*  on  door.  GOBIN  opens  door,  run 
ning  into  AUNT  VALENTINE,  who  has  just  mounted 
the  stairs.) 

VALENTINE.    Are  you  the  one  they  call  Chico? 

GOBIN.  No,  Madame.  There  is  Chico.  (Waves 
toward  CHICO  and  exits,  closing  door.) 

VALENTINE.    You  are  Chico  ? 

CHICO.  (Puzzled)  Yes,  Madame.  May  I  ask 
who  you  are?  And  is  there  something  I  can  do  for 
you? 

VALENTINE.  My  niece,  Diane,  I  understand  is 
here? 

CHICO.  Oh,  of  course.  You're  Aunt  Valentine. 
(Offers  her  chair  L.  of  table.)  Shall  I  call  her? 
(He  starts  u.ij 

VALENTINE.  Yes,  please.  (Sits.  Then  quickly) 
No — no — wait.  I'd  like  to  appeal  to  you  first. 

CHICO.  (Laughing  as  he  comes  down  left  of  her) 
And  take  advantage  of  my  weakness  for  your  sex. 

VALENTINE.  (With  a  shrewd  smile)  You  are 
not  without  charm,  Monsieur  Chico,  and  so  I  will  be 
very  honest  with  you.  For  the  first  time  in  all  the 
years  of  our  married  life,  my  husband  and  I  have 
disagreed. 

CHICO.    Oh! 

VALENTINE.    I  will  not  abandon  Diane. 

CHICO.    I  do  not  understand. 

VALENTINE.  Colonel  Brissac  is  to  meet  me  here, 
but  perhaps  you  can  help  us  ? 

CHICO.    Help  you  !     How,  Madame  ? 

VALENTINE.  Help  Colonel  Brissac  and  me  to 
bring  her  back  to  us.  My  husband  is  bitter  now,  but 


64  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

a  man  like  Colonel  Brissac  may  convince  him  when 
even  I  could  not. 

CHICO.    But  what  do  you  expect  of  me,  Madame? 

VALENTINE.    To  give  her  up,  of  course. 

CHICO.  To  give  her  up  ?  To  give  up  Diane  ?  (He 
falls  back  a  step.) 

VALENTINE.  You  must  see  I  want  to  save  her 
from  such  a  life. 

CHICO.  (Drawing  himself  up)  But  I  am  not  such 
a  life.  Diane  is  going  to  be  my  wife. 

VALENTINE.     (Rising)     Your  wife? 

CHICO.  This  morning  at  eleven  o'clock  we  are  to 
be  married. 

VALENTINE.  (Taking  a  few  steps  R.)  But  this 
can't  be. 

CHICO.  (Frowning;  crossing  a  few  steps  toward 
center)  But  it  can  be.  It  shall  be ! 

VALENTINE.  (Fluttering)  But,  Monsieur  Chico, 
please  stop.  (She  goes  to  him.)  Think  for  a  mo 
ment.  A  home  awaits  Diane,  with  every  comfort — 
every  advantage.  In  time  she  may  become  my  hus 
band's  heiress.  Can  you,  in  justice,  ask  my  niece  to 
be  a  street  cleaner's  wife? 

CHICO.  (With  dignity)  But  it  is  an  honorable 
profession,  Madame.  I  am  proud  of  the  hose.  And 
so,  too,  is  Diane.  She  loves  me! 

VALENTINE.  (Touched)  I  am  sorry.  But,  of 
course,  you  understand  we  are  prepared  to  make  it 
worth  your  while — with  payments. 

CHICO.    What  do  you  mean? 

VALENTINE.  Colonel  Brissac  has  advised  our  pay 
ing  you  ten  thousand  francs. 

CHICO.    Ten  thousand  francs  ! 

VALENTINE.  (Encouraged)  Don't  you  see  it's 
for  the  best  that  we  cut  off  my  niece  entirely  from 
the  past? 

CHICO.  (Taking  a  couple  of  steps  backwards  left 
— quietly)  Madame,  you  have  made  a  stupid  mis- 


SEVENTH   HEAVEN 


See  Page  61 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  65 

take.  I  can  only  forgive  you  because  of  your  ignor 
ance  and  old  age.  (Goes  left  to  door.) 

VALENTINE.  (Going  to  him)  Oh,  you  couldn't 
stand  in  her  way  if  you  truly  loved  her.  You  know 
in  your  heart,  if  you  are  a  just  man,  that  she  doesn't 
belong  here. 

CHICO.  (Going  R.  of  VALENTINE,)  Belong  here ! 
Why,  she  loves  me ! 

VALENTINE.  (Crossing  back  of  him  and  standing 
to  his  L.)  Perhaps  now,  but  later  when  she  knows 
you  have  kept  her  from  a  real  home  that  belongs  to 
her — which  she  will  some  day — she'll  never  forgive 
you. 

CHICO.    Yes,  she  would. 

VALENTINE.  Yes,  but  you — you  could  never  for 
give  yourself — think,  Chico — (Turning) — I  beg — I 

implore  you (She  bursts  into  tears;  sitting  left 

of  table.) 

CHICO.  That's  it,  old  wife,  use  the  trick  of  -sex — 
tears !  (Crosses  D.L.J  You  come  here  and  ask  for 
my  head  to  make  soup.  All  right — it's  yours.  It 
seems  my  fate  to  do  the  thing  I  don't  want  to  do — 
always — always!  (He  crosses  u.c.  and  looks  after 
DIANE.J  Take  her.  I  won't  stand  in  her  way. 

(VALENTINE  rises.  BRISSAC  enters  quickly  through 
open  door  LV  leaving  it  open.  *  He  is  drawn  and 
anxious.  He  seems  very  immaculate  and  fin 
ished  in  these  surroundings.) 

BRISSAC.  Forgive  me,  Madame  Vulmir.  I  am  late. 
Things  look  most  serious.  Russia  is  mobilizing !  I 
can  stay  but  a  moment.  Is  this  the  street  washer 
man? 

CHICO.    (With  dignity)    I  am  Chico. 

BRISSAC.     Did  you  tell  him? 

VALENTINE.    Yes. 

BRISSAC.    He  accepts? 


66  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

VALENTINE.  Monsieur  Chico  is  splendid.  He  has 
agreed  to  everything. 

BRISSAC.  Good!  I've  got  the  check  with  me. 
We'll  take  Diane  with  us  at  once.  I  have  the  motor 
waiting.  You  can  drop  me  at  the  War  Office.  Where 
is  Diane?  (Looks  around.) 

CHICO.  (Slowly)  I  will  call  her.  (BRISSAC  goes 
to  VALENTINE.  Goes  to  window  and  calls)  Diane ! 
(A  pause — then  louder)  Diane — come  here  ! 

DIANE.  (Heard  faintly  in  the  distance)  Yoo-hoo ! 
Chico ! 

CHICO.  (Turning  with  a  look  of  anguish  and 
crossing  down  to  door  D.L.J  She'll  be  here  in  a  mo 
ment.  I'll — I'll  wait  downstairs.  I'd  rather  you'd 
tell  her.  (Bitterly)  You  didn't  want  me  to  do  that, 
too — did  you?  (Exits,  leaving  door  open.) 

VALENTINE.  Poor  man!  But  after  all — we  are 
doing  what  is  right  ? 

BRISSAC.  Of  course — we're  doing  the  only  thing. 
(A  few  steps  right.) 

VALENTINE.  (Following  him)  Luckily  we've 
come  in  time.  They  were  to  be  married  this  morn 
ing. 

BRISSAC.    Married  ? 

VALENTINE.  (Looking  into  his  face  and  touch 
ing  his  arm)  Yes.  He  must  love  her  to  do  that  and 
Diane,  the  poor  child Oh,  Colonel Per 
haps,  after  all 

BRISSAC.  (A  few  steps  back)  Why,  you  know 
that  man  is  no  fit  person  for  your  niece. 

VALENTINE.  I  know,  but  love  does  such  strange 
things. 

BRISSAC.  Nonsense !  The  child  will  forget  him  in 
a  day. 

VALENTINE.    It  seems  cruel 

BRISSAC.  (Sternly)  You  asked  me  to  help  you ! 
(Leads  her  toward  the  door  L.J  Please  leave  me 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  67 

then  to  talk  to  her  alone.  You  may  rely  on  my  judg 
ment. 

VALENTINE.  Of  course.  You  surely  know  what's 
best.  I  will  wait  for  you.  Bring  her  to  me. 

BRISSAC.    I'll  bring  her  at  once.     (She  goes  out.) 

DIANE.  Chico!  Chico!  (BRISSAC  closes  door 
and  listens.  DIANE  stands  poised  for  a  moment  on 
the  steps  of  the  French  windows;  her  face  aglow; 
all  soft  in  pink  and  white,  in  her  wedding  clothes. 
The  light  of  heaven  illumines  her.  It  is  a  real  trans 
formation.  BRISSAC  is  astonished.  Fear  mounts  in 
her  voice.  Then  seeing  BRISSAC .)  Oh — you ! 

BRISSAC.    Yes — your  old  friend  the  Policeman ! 

DIANE.  (Stepping  into  room)  But  what  are  you 
doing  here?  Where's  Chico? 

BRISSAC.  Downstairs.  He's  been  generous  enough 
to  leave  us  together  for  a  few  moments. 

DIANE.  To  leave  us  together?  Is  there  anything 
the  matter  ? 

BRISSAC.  I  am  here  at  the  earnest  request  of  your 
aunt. 

DIANE.    Aunt  Valentine  ? 

BRISSAC.     She  wants  you ! 

DIANE.  (In  dismay — a  step  away)  But  it's  too 
late  now • 

BRISSAC.    It's  never  too  late. 

DIANE.  Yes — I'm  going  to  be  married.  I  don't 
want  to  talk,  please.  Where's  Chico?  (She  starts 
for  the  door.) 

BRISSAC.  (Barring  the  way)  You  are  going  to 
listen  to  me,  Diane. 

DIANE.     But  I  have  no  time.     (Crossing  to  door.) 

BRISSAC.     (Crossing  right)    Chico  is  a  fine  fellow. 

DIANE.    Yes,  he  is. 

BRISSAC.    But  after  all  he  is  a  sewer  man. 

DIANE.     (Haughtily)    He  is  a  street  washer. 

BRISSAC.    Street  washer,  then. 


68  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

DIANE.  Have  you  come  here  to  stop  our  mar 
riage  ? 

BRISSAC.  Your  aunt  and  I  want  you  to  know  what 
you  are  doing.  It's  only  fair  to  yourself. 

DIANE.    Why  isn't  Chico  here? 

BRISSAC.     He  doesn't  want  to  stand  in  your  way. 

DIANE.    Stand  in  my  way? 

BRISSAC.  He  realizes — even  more  than  you — what 
your  marriage  to  him  will  mean  to  you.  Good 
Heavens,  child,  don't  you  see  you  will  be  lifted  out 
of  this  squalor  of  sewers  and  street  washers  into  a 
decent  environment  ? 

DIANE.  I  don't  care  for  anything  but  "Chico. 
(Crosses  once  more  to  door.) 

BRISSAC.  (Turning  right)  I  wish  I  could  say 
Chico  felt  the  same  toward  you. 

DIANE.  (Going  to  him)  Why?  What  has  he 
said? 

BRISSAC.    It's  what  he  has  done ! 

DIANE.    Done ! 

BRISSAC.  To  put  it  bluntly,  my  poor  girl,  he  has 
agreed  to  be  paid  off. 

DIANE.    Paid  off? 

BRISSAC.     To  take  money  to  break  up  this  affair. 

DIANE.    Why,  that's  not  true ! 

BRISSAC.    Ask  him — he'll  tell  you ! 

DIANE.  (Running  to  the  door,  opens  it  and  calls) 
Chico !  (She  stands  chilled.) 

BRISSAC.  (Walking  toward  her)  My  child,  it's 
just  as  well  to  discover  the  truth  in  the  beginning. 

DIANE.    Chico ! 

CHICO'S  VOICE.     (Heard  from  below)     Yes? 

DIANE.  Come  up  here.  (She  crosses  to  left  of 
table.)  Ah,  he's  coming. 

BRISSAC.  (Following  her)  Diane,  try  and  put 
yourself  in  your  aunt's — in  my — place.  Don't  you 
see  we  only  want  to  save  you  from  untold  misery  ? 

DIANE.    I  don't  believe  it. 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  69 

BRISSAC.  (Crossing  left  to  her  and  taking  hands) 
How  can  you  help  it?  He  doesn't  love  you.  He's 
shown  that  by  what  he's  done.  And  you're  the  kind 
of  girl  who  must  have  love  to  bloom.  Well,  we'll 
give  you  all  the  love  in  the  world — love  you  as 
you've  never  dreamed  of !  Have  you  the  remotest 
idea  what  I'm  trying  to  tell  you?  How  I'd  move 
heaven  and  earth  to  protect  you  ? 

DIANE.  '(Taking  her  hands  away  from  his;  not 
hearing  him;  still  chilled)  Chico  couldn't  do  that 
— he  couldn't  do  it — he 

BRISSAC.  (Going  U.L.  as  CHICO  appears)  Here 
he  is.  Ask  him. 

DIANE.    Chico,  it's  not  true,  is  it  ? 

CHICO.  (Dolefully)  I  didn't  know  you  belonged 
to  such  great  people — like  this. 

DIANE.    It  is  true,  then. 

CHICO.  (Seeing  her  in  her  new  dress)  You  seem 
so  changed  now.  So  does  our  life — and  I  thought 
the  hose  such  a  grand  affair.  It  has  shrunk  up  very 
small,  eh?  Like  a  piece  of  macaroni! 

DIANE.  But  it  hasn't.  I  think  the  hose  is  won 
derful,  Chico.  I  don't  want  anything  but — but  just 
to  be  near  you — if  you'll  let  me  stay ! 

CHICO.  How  can  I  stand  in  your  way  before  such 
fine  people  ? 

DIANE.  I  don't  care  what  you've  done.  Give  it 
back,  please,  and  don't  let  me  go.  I  don't  want  to 
live  if  you  do !  Please  ? 

CHICO.     (Going  to  her)     Bebe,  you  must  be  wise. 

DIANE.    Oh,  please  give  it  back ! 

CHICO.    Give  what  back  ? 

DIANE.    The  money. 

CHICO.  (Going  to  her)  The  money — what 
money  ? 

BRISSAC.  (Coming  D.L.  and  shotting  CHICO  the 
check)  Here  it  is — all  made  out  in  your  name. 

CHICO.    But  I  don't  understand. 


70  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

BRISSAC.  (Haughtily)  But  Madame  Vulmir  said 
you  had  agreed  to  everything. 

CHICO.  True — she  offered  me  money,  but  you 
misunderstood.  I  refused  it.  (BRISSAC  crushes 
check  in  hand.) 

DIANE.  (Clutching  him)  I  knew  it!  I  really 
knew  it  all  the  time !  I  really  didn't  believe  it !  I 
knew  it  all  the  time !  Oh,  Chico,  Chico ! 

CHICO.  (Taking  a  step  to  her)  What  is  all  this 
— what  has  he  been  saying  to  you  ? 

DIANE.  That  you  took  this  money  not  to  marry 
me. 

CHICO.  (Quietly  and  gently  disengaging  her  from 
his  arms)  You  said  that? 

BRISSAC.  (Carefully  pocketing  the  check)  That 
is  how  I  understood  it  from  Madame  Vulmir. 

CHICO.    Go ! 

BRISSAC.    Perhaps  this  needs  some  explanation. 

CHICO.  (With  a  step  toward  him)  Go — before  I 
do  you  harm ! 

DIANE.  (Running  between  them  and  holding 

CHICO)  No — no,  Chico (To  BRISSAC,)  You 

had  best  go,  Monsieur  Brissac. 

BRISSAC.  (Picks  up  hat  slowly  and  goes  to  door, 
turns  and  faces  CHICO.  DIANE  is  in  his  arms  be 
tween  them)  If  I've  made  a  mistake,  I'm  sorry.  If 

you  need  me (He  walks  out — CHICO  gathers 

DIANE  close  in  his  arms.) 

CHICO.    Mon  Dieu,  I  almost  lost  you ! 

DIANE.    Let  us  stay  like  this  forever ! 

CHICO.    Yes! 

DIANE,  (Cheek  to  cheek)  Don't  ever  listen  to 
anyone  any  more.  You're  so  noble ! 

CHICO.  It's  my  weakness.  Never  again  will  I  be 
noble. 

DIANE.    No,  please. 

CHICO.  (Crossing  to  chair  L.  of  table,  sits)  At 
the  thought  of  losing  you  I  am  still  wobbling  inside — 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  *  71 

Listen !  (She  puts  her  head  on  his  heart.)  Diane,  I 
love  you ! 

DIANE.    At  last! 

CHICO.    Huh? 

DIANE.  You've  said  it  all  by  yourself,  (lie  looks 
up  at  her.)  I'm  not  used  to  being  happy — it's  funny 
— it  hurts !  I  can't  believe  it  yet.  (She  steals  up  to 
him.)  Hold  me  close!  (Cmco  holds  her.)  No — 
closer!  ( CHICO  holds  her  tighter.) 

CHICO.  Don't  ever  go  away,  Diane,  or,  like  a  can 
dle,  I  shall  just  go  out.  (March  steps  heard  off  left.) 
I'm  afraid ! 

DIANE.  (Breaking  away  from  him)  Afraid!  For 
shame,  Chico!  (Kneels  beside  him.)  Courage—- 
that's  the  idea,  that ! 

CHICO.  (Meekly)  I  said  that.  How  easy  it  was 
to  talk.  Now  I  shake  like  a  blanc-mange ! 

DIANE.  Then  lean  on  me !  (She  rises.  Marching 
stops.  His  head  against  her  breast.)  Trust  me — • 
for  I  will  make  you  brave !  I  will  cook  for  you  and 
sew  for  you !  I  will  be  beautiful  for  you — and 
strong  for  you — and  wise  for  you!  Never  again 
will  I  be  afraid!  (She  takes  a  step  backward.)  I 
astonish  myself  with  what  I  am !  See  what  you've 
made  of  me?  I,  too,  am  a  very  remarkable  fellow! 
(Marching  starts  again.  She  sits  in  his  lap.)  Come, 
let  us  get  married  quick !  (Jumping  up.) 

CHICO.  (Snatching  up  his  beret)  Good  heavens, 
yes !  We'll  have  to  hurry ! 

DIANE.     Boul  must  be  below  waiting  in  his  taxi. 

CHICO.  I'll  look.  (Runs  hurriedly  to  window  and 
looks  out — his  face  changing  to  stone.) 

DIANE.  (Who  has  been  busy  combing  her  hair 
and  getting  a  handkerchief ;  a  pause;  crosses  u.R.J 
What  is  it  ?  (Marching  feet  grow  louder.) 

CHICO.  He's  not  there!  (A  faint  murmur  from 
far  below.) 


72  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

DIANE.  Are  you  sure?  (She  starts  toward  win 
dow.) 

CHICO.    (Gently)    Don't  look.  ^ 

DIANE.  (Looking  out  window)  They  are  march 
ing  with  flags.  It's  come  at  last !  (They  stare  down 
into  the  street  as  the  drums  are  heard.  Then  DIANE 
goes  to  him  slowly  and  looks  into  his  eyes.)  I'm  not 
afraid. 

(GoBiN  comes  across  the  roofs,  enters  'hurriedly  with 
bundle;  a  military  kepi  on  the  back  of  his  head 
and  the  dark  blue  uniform  coat  of  1914  over  his 
arm;  he  is  sweating  and  wiping  his  face  with  a 
bandanna.  He  goes  directly  to  DIANE.) 

GOBIN.  It's  war!  Madame  Chico,  will  you  take 
care  of  my  wife  and  welcome  my — my  boy  for  me — 
when  he  comes? 

DIANE.  Be  comforted,  Monsieur  Gobin.  I  will 
nurse  them  both. 

GOBIN.  (Crossing  toward  door)  Thank  you. 
Come,  Chico,  we  report  at  once  at  the  Gare  du  Nord. 
I've — I've  said  good-bye  to  my  wife. 

CHICO.     Snake  of  snakes !     (He  is  D.L.J 

GOBIN.  I'll  wait  for  you  below.  Hurry,  Comrade. 
(He  exits  D.L.J 

DIANE.  (Smiling — right  of  CHICO)  I'm  not 
afraid ! 

CHICO.  (Producing  paper  from  under  the  neck 
of  his  shirt — u.c.J  The  women  will  take  the  men's 
places.  (She  goes  U.L.  after  bag.)  This  is  a  certifi 
cate  from  the  priest.  I  was  hoping  you'd  never  see 
it.  (He  i-s  packing  shirt,  soap,  tobacco,  etc.,  into  bag. 
Suddenly)  No — you  must  go  back  to  your  aunt! 
That's  the (He  goes  L.  of  table.) 

DIANE.  (Coming  to  right  of  table)  No!  I  will 
stay  here.  I  shall  be  in  your  place.  It  will  keep  me 
nearer  to  you. 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  73 

CHICO.  (Suddenly)  That  paper  says  "For  your 
wife" — and  you  are  not  my  wife.  (He  is  struck 
with  an  idea.)  I  have  it !  We  will  marry  now — 
here! 

DIANE.  Yes.  (Sees  medals  on  table.)  With 
these ! 

CHICO.  We  will  marry  ourselves — I  am  an  atheist 
— but  this  time  I  must  appeal  to  something.  It's  a 
good  idea — this  Bon  Dieu — if  it  were  only  true. 

DIANE.    Do  you  know  that  it  isn't  ? 

CHICO.  Yes.  I'll  give  Him  one  more  test.  (He 
takes  her  hand  in  his  and  together  they  stand  facing 
each  other  across  the  table.  CHICO  looks  up.)  Mon 
sieur  le  Bon  Dieu,  perhaps  You  are  here;  perhaps 
not.  Perhaps  You  give  me  this  wife ;  perhaps  not. 
But  if  there  is  any  truth  in  the  idea  of  You,  please 
make  this  a  true  marriage.  (He  places,  with  rever 
ence,  the  chain  urith  one  medal  about  her  neck.)  I 
take  you,  Diane,  for  my  wife. 

DIANE.  (Picking  up  the  other  medal,  kissing  it 
and  handing  it  to  him)  I  take  you,  Chico,  for  my 
husband — forever.  (Bugle  heard.) 

CHICO.    Now  we're  married. 

DIANE.  Yes.  (He  takes  the  medal  she  has  given 
him,  kisses  it  and  puts  it  in  his  pocket.  The  bands 
are  now  heard  in  the  distance  playing  "Le  Marche 
Lorraine."  CHICO  picks  up  his  bag,  lays  it  down 
again.  Turns  his  pockets  inside  out  and  lays  the 
money  in  a  pile  on  the.  table.)  Now  I  go !  (There 
is  a  quick  embrace.) 

DIANE.  I'm — we  are  not  afraid!  (He  starts  for 
the  door.  She  gets  her  sha^vl  and  is  about  to  throw 
it  over  her  head  and  follow  him.) 

CHICO.  No,  no.  Don't  come  with  me.  Don't  fol 
low  me. 

DIANE.  Please,  I (Chimes  heard  striking 

eleven.) 

CHICO.     No,  no.     Stand  still.     Don't  move.     I 


74  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

want  to  see  you  last  like  this.  Let  me  fill  my  eyes 
with  you.  I  shall  come  to  you  each  morning  at  this 
hour.  Every  day  you  will  feel  me  here  with  you. 
(He  tries  a  little  laugh  and  turns.)  Au  revoir  — 
Heaven  !  (He  exits  quickly,  closing  the  door.) 

(  DIANE  stands  very  still.  The  bands  are  heard  in 
the  distance.  With  a  start  she  reaches  for  her 
shawl,  wraps  it  around  her,  goes  to  the  door, 
leans  against  it;  it  is  slowly  pushed  open,  dis 
closing 


NANA.  (Whose  face  is  livid  and  swollen  with  ab 
sinthe)  I've  been  hiding  in  the  hall  till  your  sewer 
man  got  out  ! 

DIANE.    Nana  —  you're  ill! 

NANA.  Huh  !  Didn't  Boul  tell  you  I  needed  you 
—  that  I  wanted  you  to  come  back  to  me?  (She 
moves  toward  DIANE,  j 

DIANE.  Yes  —  but  Chico's  just  gone.  I  must  - 
(She  moves  toward  door.) 

NANA.  (Stopping  her  and  speaking  exultantly) 
The  war's  got  him. 

DIANE.  (Quietly)  Nana,  please  —  I  want  to  see 
him  once  more.  (She  crosses  L.  The  medal  hang 
ing  from  her  neck  attracts  NANA'S  eye.  She  clutches 
it  and  tears  it  from-  DIANE.  ) 

NANA.  What's  this  thing?  Something  he  gave 
you? 

DIANE.  (Suddenly  aflame)  Give  that  back  to 
me! 

NANA.  .Huh! 

DIANE.  Give  that  back,  I  tell  you!  (NANA 
throws  medal  on  floor.) 

NANA.  Come  here  to  me  !  (She  takes  from  under 
her  shawl  a  snake-like  whip.) 

DIANE.    I'm  not  afraid  of  you,  Nana. 

NANA.    Huh! 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  75 

DIANE.    I'm  not  afraid,  I  tell  you! 

NANA.  Come  here  to  me!  (DIANE  does  not 
•move.  NANA  approaches  her  and  raises  the  whip. 
Without  a -word,  DIANE  springs  on  her  and  they 
struggle ;  NANA  gives  DIANE  a  look  of  terror;  then 
DIANE  throws  her  u.c.  left,  overturning  a  chair,  and 
tearing  the  whip  from  her  hand.) 

DIANE.  Nana,  I'll  kill  you!  (She  lashes  NANA, 
who  stumbles  around  back  of  table  to  right;  then 
left  to  door.)  You  can  never  frighten  me  again ! 
I  am  brave!  I  am  not  afraid!  I  am  brave!  I  am 
the  wife  of  Chico !  (She  throws  the  whip  at  NANA'S 
retreating  figure  down  the  stairs,  runs  to  window, 
waving  her  shawl  to  the  marching  columns  below,  as 
the  band  increases  in  volume.)  Chico !  Chico ! 
Chico !  I  am  brave. 

CURTAIN 


ACT  III 

CHICO'S  attic  four  years  later.  The  morning  of  No 
vember  n,  1918.  It  is  now  a  worn  and  shabby 
"Heaven";  a  rusty  sewing  machine  is  in  the  cor 
ner.  IV omen's  clothes  hang  from  nails.  A  win 
dow  pane  is  broken  and  stuffed  with  newspaper. 
A  clothes  line  is  hung  across  the  U.K.  corner  of 
the  room. 

ARLETTE,  now  a  young  woman,  is  washing  the 
breakfast  things  and  putting  them  away.  She  is 
dressed  in  well-worn  munitions  working  clothes. 
ARLETTE  dries  her  hands  on  her  apron. 

The  sunlight  pours  in  through  the  skylight, 
flooding  the  attic  with  morning  light. 

Across  the  roofs  comes  the  chubby  figure  of 
PERE  CHEVILLON  in  his  shovel  hat  and  cloak. 
A  red  cross  brassard  is  sewed  on  his  left  arm. 

ARLETTE  wrings  out  a  towel  in  the  sink  and 
hangs  it  on  clothes  line.  N 

CHEVILLON.    Ah — my  little  Arlette ! 

ARLETTE.  (Joyously)  Father — the  good  Father! 
(Opens  window  and  lets  him  in.)  Oh,  oh,  I'm  so 
glad  to  see  you ! 

CHEVILLON.  (Puffing  and  laughing)  Phew,  my 
child,  these  roofs  make  me  dizzy.  (CHEVILLON  sits 
left  of  table.  ARLETTE  starts  for  stove.) 

ARLETTE.    Will  you  have  some  coffee? 

CHEVILLON.    Thank  you,  no ! 

ARLETTE.    A  glass  of  water? 

CHEVILLON.    No,  thank  you. 

ARLETTE.    Some  brandy? 
76 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  77 

CHEVILLON.  No — yes,  yes,  of  course.  (She 
crosses  front  of  him  to  cupboard,  bringing  him  a  bot 
tle  and  a  glass.)  I  was  calling  on  Gobin  and  his  wife 
— making  my  rounds — so  I  thought  I'd  look  in  on 
you  two.  Where's  Diane? 

ARLETTE.  (Sitting  R.  of  table)  She'll  be  here 
soon.  It's  ages  since  we've  seen  you. 

CHEVILLON.  Ah —  much  of  my  time  is  taken  up 
with  the  wounded,  but  they  like  me  because  I  tell 
them  jokes.  (Wistfully)  Do  you  happen  to  know  a 
good  joke  for  them? 

ARLETTE.  Why,  yes,  I  know  one  that  I  read  once 
— it's  about  a  goat  in  the  army  and  one  of  the  poilus 
cut  off  the  goat's  nose. 

CHEVILLON.  Cut  off  the  goat's  nose?  How  did 
he  smell  ? 

ARLETTE.    Terrible!    Don't  you  see  it,  Father? 

CHEVILLON.  Yes,  I  think  I  do — but  it's  not  so 
much.  Alas,  it's  easier  to  make  a  shell  than  a  good 
joke !  (ARLETTE  crosses,  devoutly  and  humbly  kneel 
ing  at  his  feet  on  the  hassock  at  his  left.)  What's 
this  for? 

ARLETTE.    Your  blessing ! 

CHEVILLON.  (Catching  her  by  the  ear  and  pull 
ing  her  up  to  her  feet,  peers  over  his  glasses  at  her) 
Not  so  fast !  A  little  questioning  first,  my  young  sin 
ner  !  Humph !  That  eye  looks  guilty !  Been  a  good 
girl? 

ARLETTE.  (Sitting  on  stool — eagerly)  Yes — and 
— (Her  eyes  fall  before  his  scrutiny — not  so  eager) 
— n-no. 

CHEVILLON.  I  see — Half  and  Half — well — I'm 
listening ! 

ARLETTE.  It's  about  this.  (She  shows  him  a  cheap 
looking  vanity-bag  which  she  brings  out  of  her 
bosom.) 

CHEVILLON.  (Taking  it)  Humph !  That  doesn't 
look  wicked.  (Hands  it  back.) 


78  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

ARLETTE.  No — it's  not  bad.  It's  because  I  bought 
it  with  some  of  the  money  Diane  gave  me  for  the 
rent. 

CHEVILLON.  (Gravely)  Then  how  are  you  going 
to  pay  the  rent? 

ARLETTE.    Oh,  Colonel  Brissac  did  that! 

CHEVILLON.    Colonel  Brissac 

ARLETTE.  Yes.  He  wanted  to  do  something  for 
us  and  Diane  wouldn't  let  him,  so  I  just  suggested 
that  he  might  pay  the  rent. 

CHEVILLON.    Does  Diane  know  this  ? 

ARLETTE.  No,  of  course  not.  She's  so — so 'fool 
ish — (Takes  his  hand) — and  he's  so  generous ;  he  got 
us  both  off  the  night  shift  at  the  shell  factory. 

CHEVILLON.  But  Diane  went  back  to  the  night 
shift. 

ARLETTE.  Yes,  the  moment  she  learned  Colonel 
Brissac  got  her  the  day  work. 

CHEVILLON.  (Nodding  approval)  Good  for  her. 
(She  produces  a  lipstick.)  Oh,  ho !  Devil's  ammu 
nition,  eh  ? 

ARLETTE.    That's  for  the  lips ! 

CHEVILLON.  So  I  should  have  guessed.  (AR 
LETTE  salves  her  lips  ivith  the  stick.  He  peers  at  her 
critically;  then  nods;  takes  bag  and  places  it  on 
table.)  Yes,  there  is  a  difference — like  putting  sauce 
on  a  goose  !  My  daughter,  you  must  tell  Diane  every 
thing — all  about  this  Brissac. 

ARLETTE.  (Crossing  back  of  table  to  D.R.J  Oh! 
You  can't  talk  to  her  about  him.  She  avoids  him. 
She  thinks  Chico  wouldn't  like  it. 

CHEVILLON.     Chico  !    You've  had  no  more  news  ? 

ARLETTE.  Not  a  word  since  the  report  that  he  was 
among  the  missing. 

CHEVILLON.    He  may  be  captured — a  prisoner. 

ARLETTE.  Diane  still  thinks  he  is  alive — and  that 
she's  truly  married  to  him. 

CHEVILLON.    Perhaps  she  is. 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  79 

ARLETTE.  (Shocked)  But,  Father,  you  know  they 
had  no  priest. 

CHEVILLON.  I  know — but  those  two  turned  to 
God — in  that  terrible  hour — believed  that  God  mar 
ried  them — and  though  they  were  parted  at  once  and 
never  knew  marriage  as  the  world  knows  it  and  the 
Church  commands — still  Diane  has  been  faithful  to 
that  marriage  all  these  years.  The  Bon  Dieu  has  a 
place  in  His  heart  for  such  faith. 

(  GOBIN  enters  down  left.     He  carries  a  newspaper 
in  his  left  hand — his  right  sleeve  hangs  empty.) 

GOBIN.  (In  excitement)  Father,  there's  news! 
(He  comes  left  of  CHEVILLON.J  "The  emmissaries 
have  crossed  the  frontier,  and  have  been  with  Foch 
since  nine  this  morning.  Peace  may  be  declared  at 
any  moment  now." 

CHEVILLON.  (With  a  shrug)  I'll  believe  it  when 
they've  signed. 

GOBIN.  (Crossing  u.L.J  Oh,  Eugenie  wants  you 
all  to  eome  over  and  join  us  at  breakfast.  We've  just 
received  a  beautiful  string  of  herring  from  Corporal 
Boul. 

CHEVILLON.  (Rising  and  reaching  for  hat,  smack 
ing  his  lips)  Herring!  Now  that  is  an  excellent 
idea,  that !  (Crossing  up  to  window.) 

ARLETTE.  (Taking  a  few  steps  up)  Thank  you, 
I've  had  my  breakfast. 

GOBIN.  Then  you'll  tell  Diane  that  we'll  expect 
her.  Come,  Father.  (He  exits.) 

CHEVILLON.  (To  ARLETTE,  who  is  looking  into 
her  vanity  case)  Don't  make  yourself  too  fascinat 
ing! 

ARLETTE.    Oh,  no,  Father,  I  won't. 

CHEVILLON.  (Exits  through  window  and  as  he 
crosses  roof  out  of  sight  murmurs)  I  wonder  why 
they  cut  off  his  nose ! 


80  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

(ARLETTE  hides  vanity  bag  in  bureau  right.  Door 
opens  slowly  and  DIANE  enters.  ARLETTE 
stands  still  and  watches  in  •silence  as  she,  with 
tired  dignity,  slowly  crosses  the  room.  She  is 
dressed  in  shabby  working  clothes.  DIANE  is  a 
woman  now;  her  face  is  pale;  she  is  tired  be-* 
yond  thought.  Carries  a  black  lunch  box  and  a 
paper  bag  of  potatoes.) 

ARLETTE.    You're  late,  Diane. 

DIANE.  (As  she  hangs  up  her  hat  L.  and  half -re 
moves  her  cape)  Ah — good  morning.  You've  had 
your  breakfast,  Arlette  ? 

ARLETTE.  Yes,  Diane.  You  were  so  late  I  didn't 
wait  for  you.  (Takes  sewing  basket  and  lamp  to 
cupboard.) 

DIANE.  That's  right.  It  won't  take  a  moment  to 
get  mine.  (Takes  bag  of  potatoes  and  puts  them  in 
sink  U.L.  Coffee  on  stove.) 

ARLETTE.  Gobin  and  his  wife  want  you  to  have 
breakfast  with  them.  The  priest  is  there. 

DIANE.  (With  a  shadow  of  a  smile)  The  good 
Father!  No,  I  can't  this  morning. 

ARLETTE.  Why  not?  (Takes  footstool  and  puts 
it  back  of  table;  then  crosses  R.) 

DIANE.    You  and  I  have  a  lot  to  decide  today. 

ARLETTE.  (Crossing  to  her)  Something's  hap 
pened — what  ? 

DIANE.    I  think  the  war  is  over ! 

ARLETTE.     You  do  ! —  Why  ?     (Crosses  to  her.) 

DIANE.    We  have  been  dismissed. 

ARLETTE.    What — lost  our  positions? 

DIANE.  (Nodding)  Yes,  Arlette— that's  what 
kept  me.  The  adjutant  sent  for  me.  Over  two  hun 
dred  girls  were  discharged.  Here's  your  money  and 
the  notice. 

ARLETTE.     (Stunned)     What  shall  we  do,  Diane? 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  81 

DIANE.  (Looking  up  at  skylight)  If  the  war's 
over,  that's  the  big  thing ! 

ARLETTE.  Diane,  if  you'll  just  listen  to  Colonel 
Brissac 

DIANE.    Arlette ! 

ARLETTE.  Since  Aunt  Valentine  died  there's  been 
no  one  to  help  us. 

DIANE.  (Bending  over  pot)  Oh,  we'll  find  some 
thing.  Don't  you  remember  what  I  told  you  Chico 
used  to  say — (Imitates  him) — "You  must  put  the 
idea  'courage'  inside  of  you — that's  the  idea,  that!" 
Ha,  ha! 

ARLETTE.    Oh,  it's  easy  for  you ! 

DIANE.  (Going  to  her,  affectionately)  I  know — 
I  know — I've  had  him  to  help  me.  You've  had  noth 
ing.  But  you've  gone  on — night  after  night  in  the 
grease  and  roar  of  machinery — your  lungs  choked 
with  brass  filings — the  war  hasn't  given  you  much 
youth !  (She  goes  up  to  the  window,  about  to  pin  up 
some  washing.  A  shadow  comes  across  her  face  as 
she  looks  down  into  the  street.  ARLETTE  crosses 
D.L.J  There's  Colonel  Brissac — he's  getting  out  of 
his  car — he's  coming  in  here ! 

ARLETTE.  He  wants  to  see  you!  Please,  Diane, 
just  this  once,  he's  willing  to  do  anything 

DIANE.  (Looking  coldly  at  ARLETTE^  You  were 
expecting  him  here  this  morning  ? 

ARLETTE.   Yes,  but  he  doesn't  mean  any  harm 

DIANE.  (Going  to  coffee  pot  on  stove  L.J  Did 
you  say  Sergeant  Gobin  wants  me  for  breakfast? 

ARLETTE.  (Crossing  L.  near  her)  Yes.  But  why 
do  you  always  run  away  from  Colonel  Brissac  ?  He's 
so  good-looking ! 

DIANE.  Oh,  Arlette,  I  can't  seem  to (Knock 

at  the  door — she  speaks  hurriedly)  There  he  is — 
get  him  away.  (Goes  U.L.  to  window,  taking  coffee 
pot  with  her.)  Get  him  away  and  let  me  know  when 
he's  gone.  (She  hurries  across  the  roofs.) 


82  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

(ARLETTE  opens  the  door  and  BRISSAC  enters,  now 
*      in  the  smart  uniform  of  horizon  blue.     He  is 
flushed  with  wine.) 

BRISSAC.  (Taking  her  affectionately  by  the  arm 
and  walking  her  into  the  room)  Hello,  hello,  little 
friend.  Is  she  here?  (Swings  her  around  by  the 
hands.) 

ARLETTE.    No,  Colonel,  I'm  sorry. 

BRISSAC.    But  you  promised ! 

ARLETTE.    I  know — but 

BRISSAC.  (Crossing  to  table  left)  Never  mind, 
I'm  going  to  wait  this  time  till  I  see  her.  I've  brought 
these  for  Diane  and  you,  too,  in  case  some  good  news 
from  the  front  comes  this  morning!  (Produces 
laughingly  two  bottles  of  champagne  from  his  over 
coat  pockets  and  gives  them  to  her.) 

ARLETTE.  Champagne (Takes  bottles,  crosses 

and  puts  them  on  shelves  right.) 

BRISSAC.  In  the  meanwhile,  I'll  content  myself 
with  this.  (Sits  left  of  table  and  reaches  for  the 
wine  bottle  where  the  priest  left  it.)  Arlette,  would 
you  like  to  know  a  secret  ? 

ARLETTE.  (With  a  shrug)  I'm  a  woman !  (She 
runs  to  him.)  What  ? 

BRISSAC.  They  have  just  telephoned  me  from  Gen 
eral  Headquarters  that  the  armistice  may  be  signed 
this  morning. 

ARLETTE.  (As  she  sits  R.  of  table)  I  can't  imag 
ine  how  it  will  seem  without  war. 

BRISSAC.  (Drinking)  Neither  can  I.  I  thought 
if  I  ever  lived  to  see  this  day  that  I'd  go  mad  with 
joy  with  the  rest  of  the  world — instead — now  that  it 
seems  certain — I  sit  here  like  a  cow  watching  a  train 
go  by.  Look  at  me.  A  poor  middle-aged  fool — 
soft-headed  and  heartsick  because  a  girl  won't  love 
me.  (Savagely)  If  the  war  ends  or  not — doesn't 
seem  to  matter — nothing  matters  to  me  but  Diane, 


SEVENTH   HEAVEN  83 

and  it's  been  that  way  through  all  those  bitter  years 
out  there.  Can  you  understand  such  wild  talk  as  this, 
eh?  Pitiful,  isn't  it? 

ARLETTE,  (With  a  sigh)  I  wish  it  was  for  me. 
It's  a  shame  the  way  Diane  treats  you.  (Rises  and 
crosses  left  for  shawl.) 

BRISSAC.    Yes,  it  is. 

ARLETTE.  (Crossing  to  u.L.J  I'm  going  to  tell 
her  so. 

BRISSAC.    What  do  you  mean  ?    Where  is  she  ? 

ARLETTE.    Across  the  roofs,  hiding ! 

BRISSAC.  (Rises  and  crosses  R.,  bitterly)  Hiding 
from  me !  That's  what  she's  been  doing  all  the  time. 

ARLETTE.  (Coming  down  a  few  steps)  Yes,  it  is. 
But  I'm  going  to  try  to  get  her  over  here. 

BRISSAC.  Perhaps  she'll  come  if  you  tell  her  I 
have  good  news  for  her.  (Sits  on  lower  edge  of 
table.) 

ARLETTE.  (Coming  D.C.  to  him)  Have  you  really 
— good  news  ? 

BRISSAC.    Yes.    Her  uncle's  dead. 

ARLETTE.    Do  you  call  that  good  news  ? 

BRISSAC.  Diane  will  when  she  learns  he's  left  her 
La  Salle  Farm  and  a  small  annuity  for  life. 

ARLETTE.  (Sitting  in  chair  R.)  An  annuity  for 
life?  Diane  then  is  rich? 

BRISSAC.  No — not  rich,  Arlette — but  it  will  keep 
her. 

ARLETTE.  (Starting  to  window  rear)  Let  me  tell 
her  that 

BRISSAC.     No!     (Knock  at  D.L.  door.)     Come  in. 

(Enter  RECAN  left.) 

BRISSAC.    Recan !    You ! 

RECAN.     May  I  see  you  for  a  moment,  Colonel? 
ARLETTE.     I'll  send  Diane — I  know  she'll  come  if 
I  tell  her  the  news.     (Going  to  window.) 


84  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

BRISSAC.  (Following  her  a  few  steps)  No — no — 
say  nothing  to  her  except  that  I  have  good  news  for 
her — it  will  be  better. 

ARLETTE.  Yes,  yes — I  understand.  (Exit  across 
roofs.) 

BRISSAC.    What  is  it,  Recan? 

RECAN.  We  have  succeeded  at  last  in  locating 
your  man, 

BRISSAC.     (Crossing  to  him)    Chico? 

RECAN.    Yes. 

BRISSAC.    He's  not  alive. 

RECAN.    He  won't  live. 

BRISSAC.    Oh! 

RECAN.    They  brought  him  to  Paris  this  morning. 

BRISSAC.    Here? 

RECAN.   Yes,  with  four  other  exchanged  prisoners. 

BRISSAC.    Wrhere  is  he  ? 

RECAN.  At  Lorette  Hospital.  Delirious — in  a 
high  fever — the  officer  told  me  the  doctors  had  given 
up  hope. 

BRISSAC.  (A  few  steps  right)  Poor  Diane  !  What 
a  pity. 

RECAN.  (Following  him  a  few  steps)  The  ser 
geant  even  showed  me  a  few  things  that  they  had 
taken  from  him. 

BRISSAC.    Why  didn't  you  bring  them  to  me  ? 

RECAN.     I  didn't  know  you  wanted  them. 

BRISSAC.  I  do.  This  poor  girl  has  given  four 
years  of  her  life  to  a  memory.  We  must  save  her 
from  further  suffering.  (RECAN  turns  a  step  left.) 
Get  those  trinkets  and  bring  them  to  me.  No — she's 
coming!  You  wait  below  in  the  car.  I'll  go  to  the 
Hospital  with  you.  Quick !  (Exit  RECAN.  BRIS 
SAC  shuts  the  door  on  RECAN  as  DIANE  enters.  He 
crosses  R.  and  takes  a  drink  at  table  center.) 

DIANE.  (Enters  in  window  and  conies  D.L.  of 
table)  Colonel  Brissac,  you  have  some  good  news 
for  me  ? 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  85 

BRISSAC.     Diane,  please  be  calm  and  listen  to  me. 

DIANE.  (Dully)  Arlette  said  you  had  good  news. 
(She  looks  away  from  him.) 

BRISSAC.  Why  do  you  always  want  to  avoid  me — 
to  hide  from  me? 

DIANE.    We've  gone  all  through  that. 

BRISSAC.  Surely,  Diane,  you  can't  believe  I  want 
to  harm  you.  (As  she  starts  to  go)  No,  no,  don't 
go — give  me  just  a  moment. 

DIANE.  (Turning  back  L.C.  and  speaking  patient 
ly)  Well? 

BRISSAC.  When  I  first  came  back,  tired  and  war- 
weary,  I  confess  I  thought  I  could  win  you — that  you 
were  like  the  rest  of  us — beaten  in  spirit — too  tired 
to  resist — but  I  was  wrong.  I  didn't  know  you. 

DIANE.     Please,  Colonel  Brissac 

BRISSAC.  Diane,  we  must  be  friends.  I  was  wrong 
at  first,  but  you've  taught  me  the  truth  and  in  all  hu 
mility  I  ask  you  to  answer  just  one  question. 

DIANE.    What  is  it  ? 

BRISSAC.    Will  you  be  my  wife? 

DIANE.     Colonel  Brissac,  I  haven't  been  fair  to 

you.      You   say   you   didn't   know   me — well — (She 

smiles) — we  just  didn't  know  each  other.     But  what 

you  ask  is  impossible. 

'BRISSAC.    You  mean  you  never  could  care  for  me  ? 

DIANE.  It's  not  that — it's  because  I'm  married. 
I'm  the  wife  of  Chico;  the  war  will  be  over  soon — 
he's  coming  back. 

BRISSAC.  Diane — you  might  well  be  the  figure  of 
France!  (Kisses  her  hand.)  We're  friends? 
(Takes  his  hat  and  cape  from  table;  then  crosses  left 
of  her.) 

DIANE.    Yes. 

BRISSAC.  (Taking  her  hand)  Promise  me  you 
are  not  going  to  hide  from  me  when  I  come  again? 

DIANE.     I  promise.     (BRISSAC  exits.) 

ARLETTE.     (Entering  and  almost  immediately  fol- 


86  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

lowed  by  BOUL,  and  after  him  GOBIN,)  Diane,  look  ! 
See  who  is  here  !  (DIANE,  turning,  sees  standing  be 
fore  her  CORPORAL  BOUL;  he  is  the  same  BOUL  as  of 
old,  but  now  in  soiled  and  dirty  uniform  of  the  Mo 
tor  Transport  Service.  ARLETTE  comes  D.R.J 

DIANE,    Boul  !    Boul  !     Papa  Boul  !     Papa  Boul  ! 

GOBIN.  (Coming  D.L.J  Corporal  Boul,  if  you 
please,  of  the  Motor  Transport  Service.  (DIANE  is 
in  Boui/s  arms.) 

ARLETTE.  (Coming  D.R.  of  table  and  placing  chair) 
He's  brought  something  for  us,  but  he  wouldn't  tell 
what  it  was  !  (DIANE  kisses  him.) 

BOUL.  Ha,  ha  !  Did  you  see  that,  Comrade  Gobin  ? 
Do  you  think  anyone  here  could  get  that  but  me? 
Arlette  was  jealous  because  I  gave  Madame  Gobin  a 
string  of  herring!  Look,  my  ladies,  what  I  brought 
for  you!  (Crosses  to  back  of  table  and  takes  several 
cakes  of  soap  from  his  pocket.) 

ARLETTE.     Soap!    Soap!    Where  did  you  get  it? 

BOUL.  Never  mind  !  (Takes  from  his  pocket  sev 
eral  hand  fulls  of  cube  sugar  which  he  piles  on  table.) 
Look  at  that  ! 


. 

BOUL.  Yes,  my  friends,  more  than  a  pound  — 
(With  a  wink  at  DIANEJ  —  from  the  table  of  my  gen 
eral! 

GOBIN.    You  are  home  to  stay  with  us  now? 

BOUL.  (Tapping  breast  pocket)  My  discharge  is 
in  this  pocket  and  —  (Slapping  his  pocket)  —  there  is 
money  enough  for  a  new  taxicab  ! 

ARLETTE.  Where  is  the  old  one  —  the  one  you 
called  Eloise? 

BOUL.  (With  a  tear)  She's  dead!  You  hadn't 
heard?  (  GOBIN  goes  to  U.K.  corner  of  table.)  My 
poor  Eloise!  It  was  before  I  went  to  the  front  for 
good  in  the  first  days  of  the  war.  (He  places  the 
various  objects  that  are  on  the  table  as  he  speaks.) 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  87 

Here  was  Von  Kluck — (The  bottle  of  cognac) — with 
the  greatest  war  machine  the  world  has  ever  known 
marching  through  Compiegne  on  to  the  very  gates  of 
Paris.  ( Two  cakes  of  soap.)  The  Government  had 
flown  to  Bordeaux — over  here  somewhere.  (Points 
left  of  table.)  Here  was  our  whole  reserve  army 
hiding  behind  Paris.  (Illustrates  his  description  with 
cakes  of  soap.)  Our  beautiful  city  about  to  be  oblit 
erated.  What  did  Papa  Joffre  do?  He  didn't  hesi 
tate  one  instant.  He  knew  where  to  go !  He  called 
on  us — (Thumps  his  chest) — the  taxicabs  of  Paris ! 
We  brought  up  our  whole  reserve  so — so — (Illus 
trates  with  lump  sugar  and  indicates  with  hands) — 
so!  My  God,  what  a  sight!  (Picks  up  lump  of 
sugar.)  There  was  Eloise  in  the  very  front  going 
like  a  red-hot  devil  with  seven  soldiers  inside  of  her 
and  five  on  top !  She  rose  to  it  in  the  end,  the  old 
girl !  She  was  heroic !  Gave  everything  she  had — 
never  missed  fire  once — got  to  the  front  line  first — 
was  hit  with  a  shell — blew  up — collapsed  in  the  mud. 
(Kisses  the  lump  of  sugar  as  he  collapses  in  chair 
right.)  God  rest  her  soul !  (He  wipes  his  eyes  with 
the  backs  of  his  hands.) 

ARLETTE.     (Hugging  him)    Hurray  for  Eloise! 

DIANE.  It  was  magnificent!  (Then,  after  a 
pause.)  Papa  Boul — you — you  never  got  any  news 
of  Chico?  (She  comes  down  R.c.J 

BOUL.  (Shaking  his  head)  None.  I  was  trans 
ferred  to  the  Italian  front  after  Mons. 

DIANE.  (Going  to  him)  But  he'll  come  back  soon 
with  great  tales,  too,  won't  he,  Boul  ? 

BOUL.    Of  course. 

(GoBiN,  who  during  the  foregoing  has  exchanged  a 
despairing  look  or  two  with  ARLETTE,  now  mo 
tions  her  out  and  ARLETTE  nods  under  standing 
ly.  Both  quietly  go  out  across  the  roofs.) 


88  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

DIANE.  (Sitting  on  arm  of  Boui/s  chair)  Dear 
old  friend,  the  sound  of  your  voice  is  so  good !  These 
eyes  saw  him.  These  hands  touched  him 

BOUL.  This  heart  loved  him !  Chico  !  There  was 
a  man.  He  might  have  been  a  king ! 

DIANE.  You  think  so,  too,  Boul!  It  wasn't  just 
because  I  loved  him  ? 

BOUL.    He  was  a  wonderful  man ! 

DIANE.  (Sitting  now  on  table)  He  is  a  very  re 
markable  fellow!  You  know,  Boul,  the  first  time  I 
saw  him  when  he  rose  from  the  ground  there  were 
stars  on  his  hands  !  I  saw  them ! 

BOUL.    Of  course  you  did ! 

DIANE.  Then  that  glorious  ride  when  you  brought 
us  here — to  Heaven  ! 

BOUL.  It's  been  a  sad  Heaven  for  you,  I'm  afraid ! 

DIANE.  Why,  no !  I  never  told  anyone  this,  but 
you'll  understand — you  won't  laugh  ! 

BOUL.     (Pulling  his  chair  over  to  her)     Laugh! 

DIANE.  When  he  went  away  we  promised  that 
we  would  join  each  other  in  spirit  every  morning  at 
eleven  o'clock,  and  he's  never  failed  me !  Even  when 
I  was  at  the  turning  lathe  in  all  that  noise  I  would 
feel  him  so  clearly  standing  at  my  side;  and  then 
when  I  went  on  the  night  shift  and  came  back  here 
mornings — no  matter  how  tired,  how  deep  in  sleep, 
I  would  always  wake  up  to  find  it  eleven  o'clock  on 
the  dot ! 

(DE  BRISSAC  enters.  BOUL,  recognizing  the  uniform 
and  DE  BRISSAC'S  rank,  crosses  left  and  stands 
stiffly  at  attention.) 

BRISSAC.     I  beg  your  pardon.     (Looks  at  BOUL.J 
DIANE.    (Crossing  to  left  of  table)    An  old  friend 
of  my  husband's. 

BOUL.  (At  attention)  Boul,  corporal,  twenty- 
fourth  motor  transport  service. 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  89 

BRISSAC.  Of  course — Boul!  I  remember  you. 
(Crosses  center  and  to  is..)  I'm  glad  you're  here. 
(He  turns  to  DIANE.  J  Diane  needs  good  friends 
just  now.  ( DIANE  looks  at  him,  puzzled,  half  fright 
ened.)  I  wanted  to  be  with  you  when  you  received 
this  news.  I  needn't  tell  you  to  be  brave. 

DIANE.    What  news  have  you  ? 

BRISSAC.  (Taking  paper  from  pocket)  I  wish  to 
Heaven  I  could  spare  you.  I  have  brought  you  these 
things  myself.  (Lays  notice  on  table.) 

DIANE.    I  don't  believe  it. 

BRISSAC.    This  tintype 

DIANE.    No ! 

BRISSAC.    His  identification  disc! 

DIANE.     (Weaker)     I  won't — I  won't  believe  it! 

BRISSAC.  And  this  religious  medal.  (He  has 
placed  them  on  the  table.  DIANE,  with  a  trembling 
hand,  picks  up  the  medal,  tries  to  bring  it  to  her  lips. 
She  takes  the  one  that  hangs  around  her  neck  in  the 
other  hand  and  stares  at  them  both  for  a  moment. 
Then,  turning,  sJie  runs  to  the  open  window  at  the 
rear  and  attempts  to  jump.)  Look  out !  Quick — 
stop  her!  (BouL,  who  is  up-stage,  catches  her  just 
in  time.  They  bring  her  dozvn  and  seat  her  left  of 
table.)  Boul,  leave  us  alone  ! 

BOUL.     (Protesting)     But,  if  you  please,  Colonel, 

BRISSAC.  Go!  (BouL  reluctantly  salutes  the 
Colonel,  then,  bending,  puts  his  unshaven  cheek 
against  her  head  a  moment,  and  exits  door  left. 
BRISSAC  steps  behind  her  chair  and  raises  a  hand  to 
lay  upon  her  shoulder;  with  a  helpless  gesture  he  re 
frains,  and  stands  for  a  moment,  pulling  at  his  mus 
tache.  He  then  goes  to  the  window,  which  he  care 
fully  closes.  Returning  to  just  back  of  her,  looks 
down  at  DIANE,  as  she  now  strikes  the  table  in  one 
spot  with  her  fist.) 


90  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

BRISSAC.  (After  clearing  his  throat,  in  a  low  tone) 
Diane,  my  poor  child ! 

DIANE.    But  he  came  to  me  ? 

BRISSAC.  (Not  understanding,  in  a  sympathetic 
tone)  Ye-es. 

DIANE.    Then — he  didn't  come? 

BRISSAC.     (Softly)     No 

DIANE.  No — no,  he  couldn't  have  come.  (She 
has  the  tintype  in  her  hand,  looking  at  it  steadfastly.) 

BRISSAC.  Courage.  (He  touches  her  hand  reas 
suringly.) 

DIANE.  (Bitterly;  throwing  his  hand  away) 
Courage ! 

BRISSAC.  (Gently  places  his  hand  on  her  shoul 
der)  Diane,  this  is  no  place  for  you  now ! 

DIANE.     (Like  a  child)     He  never  came  at  all ! 

BRISSAC.  (Again  not  understanding;  with  gentle 
ness)  No. 

DIANE.  I  just  imagined  that  he  came  here,  didn't 
I? 

BRISSAC.     (Softly)    Yes. 

DIANE.    It  seems  so  foolish  now ! 

BRISSAC.     My  poor  Diane! 

DIANE.     (Shuddering)     I  was  so  sure! 

BRISSAC.    There — there 

DIANE.  I  thought  the  Bon  Dieu  was  helping  me. 
For  four  years — what  nonsense — what  childish  non 
sense 

BRISSAC.  (Coming  D.L.  of  her)  Diane!  From 
now  on  I  am  going  to  take  care  of  you. 

DIANE.  (Bitterly  as  she  rises)  Yes.  What  does 
it  matter? 

BRISSAC.     Come ! 

(DE  BRISSAC  leads  her  to  the  door,  where  she  stops, 
turns  and  wistfully  regards  the  room.) 

DIANE.    I  called  it  Heaven !    (Chimes  ring  eleven. 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  91 

She  eagerly^  goes  back  to  the  middle  of  the  room; 
stands  looking  about  as  if  waiting  for  something  to 
happen.  A  faint  light  of  hope  comes  into  her  eyes. 
BRISSAC  patiently  waits  for  her.  DIANE  stands  ir 
resolute,  listening  and  looking  about.) 

BRISSAC.     (Alarmed)    What  is  it? 

DIANE.  Eleven  o'clock.  I  got  so  in  the  habit  of 
believing.  (She  removes  her  medal  and  lays  it  on 
the  table.)  I'm  right  back  at  the  beginning  again. 

BRISSAC.  Come  away,  Diane — please.  (He  holds 
out  his  arms  to  her.) 

DIANE.    Yes,  yes. 

(Suddenly  booming  of  cannon  rattles  the  windows. 
Again  DIANE  stops  and  they  stare  at  each  other.) 

DIANE.     Listen ! 

(BRISSAC  goes  to  the  window  and  flings  it  open.  He 
stands  in  the  sunlight  as  the  full  roar  of  the 
Armistice  bursts  in  on  us.  Bells,  the  booming 
of  artillery,  bands  of  music,  trump  et-tongued, 
and  the  great  roar  of  many  people.) 

BRISSAC.  Look!  Look!  It's  over!  (DIANE 
goes  to  the  window  as  BRISSAC  points  below  almost 
hysterically.)  They've  signed  the  armistice!  The 
war  is  over !  Look  at  them  !  Look !  Oh,  mon  Dieu, 
France  is  saved !  (Crosses  D.L.J 

(BouL  enters  abruptly  from  door  left  and  runs  tow 
ard  DE  BRISSAC.) 

BOUL.  (Shouting)  Do  you  hear  that !  The  war 
is  over — over! 

BRISSAC.    Yes,  yes.     God  be  praised ! 

w  embraces  DE  BRISSAC,  who  laughingly  joins 


92  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

hands  as  they  dance  about  in  a  circle.  DIANE 
stands  leaning  against  the  side  of  the  window, 
her  profile  to  the  audience,  looking  into  the 
street  below.  GOBIN  comes  across  the  roofs, 
with  ARLETTE  and  CHEVILLON.) 

ARLETTE.    Vive  la  France !  "1 

GOBIN.    The  war — the  war — no  more  1    (Spoken 
war!    No  more!    Oh!    Oh!  f  together) 

PERE  CHEVILLON.    Gloria  in  excelsis  !  J 

(ARLETTE  seizes  the  armless  sleeve  of  GOBIN,  who 
in  turn  takes  BOUL'S  hand,  and  all  dance  wildly 
around  in  a  circle  except  BRISSAC,  who  goes  up 
and  closes  window,  shutting  out  the  noises. 
CHEVILLON  crosses  D.R.  and  stands  praying  with 
his  beads.  RECAN  tumbles  in,  covered  with  con 
fetti  and  streamers.) 

RECAN.  My  Colonel — they've  signed — they've 
signed!  (He  closes  door;  throws  confetti  at  them; 
runs  to  DIANE  and  embraces  her,  as  BRISSAC  throws 
him  across  left.) 

BRISSAC.     Leave  her  alone,  idiot ! 

DIANE.  No — no,  stop — stop — stop  it!  (Since 
BRISSAC  closed  the  window  only  a  faint  murmur  is 
heard  from  the  crowds  below.  BRISSAC  is  above 
table;  all  stop  their  hilarity  and  look  at  DIANE,  who 
has  turned  and  seen  CHEVILLON  standing  nearby  with 
bowed  head,  telling  his  beads.)  What  are  you  doing 
— you?  Praying f  To  what,  I'd  like  to  know  ?  Tell 
me !  Tell  me  !  To  a  Nonsense  they  call  Bon  Dieu  ? 

BRISSAC.     (Going  to  her)     Diane,  dear,  don't. 

DIANE.  Stand  away — I  know  what  I'm  talking 
about.  For  four  years  I  believed  I  was  married  and 
there  was  a  Bon  Dieu  protecting  me !  (Sneers) 
Bon  Dieu!  There's  nothing!  It's  all  false.  My 
hope  in  Chico  was  false.  I  pretended  this  place  was 


SEVENTH  HEAVEN  93 

Heaven.  I  clung  to  that  Idea  as  Chico  told  me  to — 
but  it's  all  collapsed — he's  dead.  Now  when  I  want 
your  Bon  Dieu  most  he's  not  here.  He  does  not 
exist.  There's  nothing,  nothing,  nothing! 

BRISSAC.    Diane,  dear,  please  come  away  with  me. 

DIANE.  (Incoherently)  Yes.  That's  right.  Take 
me  wherever  you  want  me  to  go — anywhere — the 
war's  over,  isn't  it?  It's  over — it's  over — it's  over! 
(DIANE  goes  straight  to  BRISSAC  and  into  his  arms.) 

BRISSAC.  (Soothing  her  as  a  child)  Diane,  my 
poor  girl — I  know  how  you've  suffered,  but  I'll  care 
for  you — I  love  you  !  I  love  you !  (She  is  unresist 
ing  in  his  arms  and  he  tenderly  kisses  her.  His  face 
is  down-stage;  hers  is  up  so  the  audience  cannot  see 
her.  BRISSAC  is  kissing  DIANE  for  the  third  time  as 
CHICO  enters,  joyfully  pushing  his  way  through 
BOUL,  ARLETTE,  GOBIN  and  RECAN,  who  are  clut 
tered  at  the  door.  CHICO  is  hatless,  disheveled  and 
in  rags,  covered  with  confetti.) 

CHICO.  (Radiant)  Diane,  Diane!  (Slowly,  as 
one  who  sees  a  ghost,  DIANE  looks  at  him.  In  horror 
and  dismay)  Diane !  (Feeling  his  tone  of  accusa 
tion,  DIANE  stands  as  one  of  stone.) 

(Enter  HOSPITAL  ATTENDANT  with  Red  Cross  bras 
sard  on  arm.    He  is  out  of  breath.) 

ATTENDANT.  You  shouldn't,  Chico — you  shouldn't 
have  left  the  hospital. 

CHICO.  (Pushes  him  away  in  fury  as  he  stares  at 
DE  BROSSAC  and  DIANE)  Get  away  from  me — get 
out  of  my  way!  (Takes  a  menacing  step  toward 
DIANE.) 

DIANE.  (In  terror  and  quickly)  Don't  look  at 
me  like  that ! 

CHICO.  (Groping  toward  her)  Bebe,  where  are 
you? 


94  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 

( DIANE  goes  to  him,  looks  and  passes  her  hand  be 
fore  his  face,  then  drops  to  her  knees.) 

CHICO.  (Feeling  her  arms)  Ah !  Cherie,  my 
eyes  are  still  filled  with  you. 

DIANE.  It's  all  true — and  I  thought  the  Bon  Dieu 
had  failed  me ! 

Cmco.  (Raising  her)  He  has  not,  Bebe.  At 
the  hospital  they  thought  I  was  dead — but  when  I 

woke  up — in  Paris — near  you Snake  of  snakes, 

they  couldn't  hold  me!  Death?  Bah!  I've  been 
hit  by  every  shell  that's  made.  But  nothing  can  kill 
me!  I'll  never  die!  And  I'll  see.  They  can't  keep 
me  blind — because  it's  all  true,  Cherie — those  big 
thoughts  I  had  were  the  Bon  Dieu  after  all.  He  is 
within  us — now  that  I  am  blind,  I  see!  I  tell  you, 
I'm  a  very  remarkable  fellow ! 

CURTAIN 


PROPERTY  PLOT 
ACT    I 

Off  Right: 

2  bottles  wine. 

brooch. 

pail. 

written  note  for  Aunt  Valentine, 

i oo- franc  note. 

notebook  and  pencil. 

broom. 

cloth  platter. 

sausage. 

onion. 

cheese. 
Off  Left: 

hose. 

brief  case  and  papers. 

whip. 

4  tin  watches. 

missal. 

snuff-box. 

cards. 

lamplighter's  stick. 

religious  medals. 
Off,  under  stage: 

cigarettes. 

long  knife. 
In  taxi: 

loaf  of  bread. 

95 


96  SEVENTH  HEAVEN 


ACT    II 

Off,  under  stage,  left: 

tintype. 

gold  watch  and  chain. 

pipe.    . 

large  box  containing  wedding  clothes. 

white  rose. 

handful  of  coins. 

check. 

paper  (document). 

whip. 
Off  Left: 

Cap  and  coat  (Gobin). 

ACT   III 

Off  under  stage,  left: 

vanity  bag. 

bag  of  potatoes. 

pay  envelope  and  notice. 

2  bottles  champagne. 

confetti  and  streamers. 

medal  and  chain. 

bandanna  handkerchief  containing  tintype,  iden 
tification  tag  and  medal. 
Off  Left: 

French  newspaper. 

cakes  of  soap. 

cubes  sugar. 


DOUBLE  DOOR 

Drama.  3  acts.  By  Elizabeth  McFadden.  7  males, 
5  females.  Interior.  Costumes,  1910. 

An  outstanding  success  on  Broadway.  Its  theme  is  the  battle 
for  power  that  goes  on  in  an  old  New  York  family  and  cul 
minate*  on  the  verge  of  murder.  "This  one  deserves  especial 
thanks  and  hearty  praises.  It  returns  us  to  expertness  and 
fascination  and  fine  mood  in  the  theater."  Gilbert  Gabriel,  in 
New  York  American.  "At  last  a  play  has  come  to  town  that 
can  be  heartily  recommended.  Sturdy  theater,  compelling. 
Once  you  are  within  the  radius  of  Double  Door  you  will  re 
main  transfixed  until  you  know  what's  behind  it."  Bernard  So- 
bel,  Daily  Mirror.  "Double  Door  is  a  thriller  of  a  new  kind, 
beautifully  written,  superbly  played,  clean  as  a  whistle,  and 
arousing  in  its  spectators  a  tenseness  of  interest  I  have  rarely 
seen  equaled  in  a  playhouse."  E.  Jordan,  America.  Leading 
part  acted  by  Mary  Morris  in  America  and  by  Sybil  Thorndike 
in  London.  A  play  that  will  challenge  the  best  acting  talent 
of  Little  Theatres  and  colleges. 

(Royalty,  $25.00.)  Price,  75  cents. 


THE  DISTAFF  SIDE 

Play.  3  acts.  By  John  Van  Druten.  5  males,  8  fe 
males.  2  interiors.  Modern  costumes. 

Produced  with  preeminent  success  in  London  and  New 
York.  Mr.  Van  Druten  's  new  play  deals  with  the  women  of 
one  family,  women  so  unlike  that  they  set  one  another  off 
startlingly.  There  is  the  tart,  querulous  old  Mrs.  Venables, 
and  there  are  her  three  daughters—  Nellie  who  is  married  and 
whose  life  has  slipped  away  from  her  in  the  provinces;  Liz  who 
is  divorced  and  whose  life  has  been  brilliant  and  unconven 
tional  on  the  Continent;  and  Kvie  who  is  a  widow  and  whose 
life  has  been  spent  being  happy  through  others—  her  husband, 
her  children,  her  friends.  Evie's  young  daughter  Alex  is  the 
fifth  woman  in  the  family,  and  the  drama  of  The  Distaff  Side 
centers  chiefly  in  her  and  her  two  suitors  who  represent  such 
different  things.  But  if  the  plot  belongs  to  Alex,  the  honors  of 
tike  play  go  to  her  mother—  for  seldom  has  a  modern  play 
wright  drawn  so  warm  and  womanly  and  endearing  a  character 
as  Evie.  The  family  life  of  these  people  k  extraordinarily 
human,  but  it  is  Evie  that  it  revolves  around,  Evie  who  lights 
klip. 

(Royalty.  $55.00.)  Price,  75  cents. 


^ 


ANNE  OF  GREEN  CABLES 

L.  M.  Montgomery's  most  popular  novel,  drama 
tized  into  a  tender  and  amusing  play  in  3  acts  by       ; 
Alice  Chadwicke.  4  males,  10  females,  i  interior  set. 
Modern  costumes. 

Mark  Twaia,  the  celebrated  humorist,  was  so  taken  with 
the  quaint  charm  of  L.  M.  Montgomery's  tremendously  popu 
lar  novel  that  upon  reading  it  for  the  first  time  he  said:  In 
'Anne  of  Green  Gables'  you  will  find  the  dearest  and  most 
moving  and  delightful  girl  since  the  immortal  Alice."  [Anne 
is  played  by  a  girl  in  her  middle  teens.]  And  for  yea*s  t&is 
fascinating  book  has  headed  the  list  of  best  sellers.  It  has 
been  made  twice  as  a  movie,  once  a  silent  picture  and  o»ly 
recently  as  a  talkie,  but  it  has  remained  for  the  distin^uiahed 
dramatist,  Alice  Chadwicke,  to  make  the  first  and  o«ly 
dramatization  of  this  magically  beautiful  story.  Green  Gabks 
is  the  home  of  lovable  Matthew  Cuthbert  and  his  stern  sister, 
Marilla  Cuthbert.  Nobody  suspects  that  beneath  her  hard  ex 
terior  there  lurks  a  soft  and  tender  heart.  When  Matthew, 
alter  a  great  deal  of  reflection,  finally  decides  to  adopt  an 
orphan  boy  to  help  with  his  farm  work,  Marilla  grudgingly 
consents.  Through  a  rattlebrained  friend  of  theirs,  one  Nancy 
Spencer,  they  agree  to  take  a  boy  from  the  Hopeton  Orphan 
age.  Marilla  makes  ready  to  receive  the  boy  aad  Matthew 
drives  to  the  station  to  get  him.  Fancy  his  consternation  when 
he  finds  little  Anne  Shirley  waiting  for  him!  There  has  been 
a  mistake  and  Anne  has  been  sent  to  Green  Gables  in  lieu  of 
a  boy  whom  the  Cuthberts  plan  to  adopt.  From  the  instant 
Anne  and  Matthew  meet  a  strong  attachment  grows  lap  be 
tween  the  little  orphan  and  the  man  who  has  been  starving 
for  affection  without  realizing  it.  Anne,  with  her  vivid  im 
agination,  her  charitable  viewpoint,  her  refreshing  simplicity, 
touches  the  old  bachelor's  heart.  But  not  so  with  Marflla.  She 
determines  to  send  Anne  back  to  the  orphanage  the  following 
day.  But  she  reckons  without  Anne  who  is  50  enchanted  by 
everything  at  Green  Gables  and  who  cries  and  begs  and  pleads 
so  hard  to  remain  that  even  Marilla  finally  gives  m  and  con 
sents.  Anne  is  the  sort  of  part  that  every  young  girl  will  ado*e 
playing,  and  the  other  parts  offer  splendid  opportunities  to 
the  various  members  of  the  cast.  The  play  breathes  of  youth, 
is  thoroughly  modern  in  spirit,  very  simple  to  prepare  and  pre 
sent  and  Miss  Chadwicke  has  written  into  k  such  an  abundance 
of  warmth,  wit,  and  motion  that  it  becomes  an  endless  delight. 

(Royalty,  $05.00.)  Price,  75  cents. 


Bint 


PRIDE  AND   PREJUDICE 

Comedy.  3  acts.  By  Helen  Jerome.  10  rn 
females.  3  interiors.  Costumes,  1796. 

An  immensely  successful  production  in  New  York  and  I 
don.  The  play  concentrates  on  Mrs.  Bermef 
to  get  her  daughters  married.  Jane,  Elizabeth 
likely-looking   girls   in    an    unlikely-looking   period    whei 
>,sible  career  is  matrimony.  To  be  a  wife 
success.  Anything  else  was  failure,  Jane  and  her  Mr. 
and  Lydia  with  her  Mr.  Wickham,  are  quite  a 
god  of  things  as  they  are,  but  not  Elizabeth! 
fuses  to  marry  Mr.  Collins,  whom  she  open! 
Mr.  Darcy  whom  she  secretly  adores.  The  p) 
of  the  duel  between  Elizabeth  and  her  pride 

-ejudice.  Each  gives  in  before  the  < 
pride  and   prejudice  meet   halfway.  An 
tor  schools,  colleges  and  Little  Theatres, 
viewer  went  to  the  Music  Box  last  night  p. 
and  remained  to  be  interested. "—Percy  Hamm< 
aid  Tribune.  "An  intelligent  script."— Brooks  Atkinso. 
In  ordering  please  mention  name  of  author 

(Royally,  $25.00.)  Price,  75  cents. 


LEAVE  IT  TO  PSMITH 

Farce-comedy.  3  acts.  By  Ian  Hay  and  P.  G, 
house,    10  males,   8   females.   3   intei  erior 

Modern  costumes. 

<>f  the  most  amusing  and  rollicking 
has  way  in  a  long  time.  Freddie  Bf 

i    Phyllis  Jackson  but  her  father  won't   let   them 
unless  Freddie  gets  a  job  or   at   least  shows  good  fa 
putting  some  money  into  the  Jackson  Tain  bu 
the  first  choice 

aristocrats  and  neve-   labor.    H<        Freddie  mai 
the  money  thro<:  assistano 

general  fixer-up,  is  hilariously  unfolded  in  three  acts  o 
action  and   excitement   brought  about   by   the  endea\v; 
several  crooks  to  steal  the  jewels  belonging  to  Freddie's  doaai 
neering  stepmother.  The  cast  consir,'          .        sortment  of  som< 
of  the  most  unusual  and  laugh-provoking  cha          ;       -cr  f»e 
sented  on  ihe  stage   This  play  is  bound  to  • :    isf)  an)    tudien  i 
that  enjoys  a  good  evening's  spoofing, 
(Royalty,  $25.00.)  Price,  75  cents. 


GROWING 


THE  BISHOP  MISBEHAVES 


his 
HHH 

the 

:tive  heroine 
it  is  a  game 
,  knife-bran- 
emerges  tri- 
•>  and  charm- 


Royalry,  $25.00.)  Price,  75  cents. 


v 


